I will be giving a talk with my bible study group in June about what it is to be transgender and a crossdresser. I was asked several months back to share my story. I have decided to do so. Currently, I am doing research about transgender and crossdressing from a biblical perspective. I'm looking forward to doing this.
Genevieve
Friday, April 17, 2009
Poem from A Friend
I read a poem from a friend I met on another forum. I think it speaks to many of us.
***The Nurse***
---Yesterday---
You watched me stop your son's bleeding;
You were glad for me to do your daughter's tube feeding;
You begged me to save your significant other;
You pleaded for me to relieve the pain of a dying mother;
You said my work with the aged shows compassion;
You said all humanity should work in this fashion;
---Last night---
You saw me and a person eating dinner out;
You told your friends what my day had been about;
You knew me then with a show of gratitude;
You were thrilled with my caring attitude;
Then you saw me gently hold the hand of my lover;
Now showing hate and disdain your smile could not cover;
---Today---
You told your friends and their brothers;
The story grew as they told more and others;
The feelings of fear and betrayal and rage;
Continued to grow as the story passed through the day;
Someone said "a call to arms is what we need";
Then fear and contempt turned from words to deeds;
---Tonight---
They arrive, in the dark, at my door;
With sticks and clubs and fists they beat me to the floor;
As blood spills and splatters and consciousness lags;
I hear the words queer, homo, lesbian, and fag;
I pray for an end to the torture, suffering, and pain;
To continue to breathe I have nothing left to gain;
---Tomorrow---
You attend the service out of social obligation and morbid fascination;
After all I was a member of every school, church, and social organization;
Your child said "They only killed a queer, it could be worse";
My child said "That queer was my mother and your nurse";
You have taught your sons and daughters well;
You have taught them to hate and kill and condemn to hell;
Kat(Copyright, L. K. Jackson, 2007)
***The Nurse***
---Yesterday---
You watched me stop your son's bleeding;
You were glad for me to do your daughter's tube feeding;
You begged me to save your significant other;
You pleaded for me to relieve the pain of a dying mother;
You said my work with the aged shows compassion;
You said all humanity should work in this fashion;
---Last night---
You saw me and a person eating dinner out;
You told your friends what my day had been about;
You knew me then with a show of gratitude;
You were thrilled with my caring attitude;
Then you saw me gently hold the hand of my lover;
Now showing hate and disdain your smile could not cover;
---Today---
You told your friends and their brothers;
The story grew as they told more and others;
The feelings of fear and betrayal and rage;
Continued to grow as the story passed through the day;
Someone said "a call to arms is what we need";
Then fear and contempt turned from words to deeds;
---Tonight---
They arrive, in the dark, at my door;
With sticks and clubs and fists they beat me to the floor;
As blood spills and splatters and consciousness lags;
I hear the words queer, homo, lesbian, and fag;
I pray for an end to the torture, suffering, and pain;
To continue to breathe I have nothing left to gain;
---Tomorrow---
You attend the service out of social obligation and morbid fascination;
After all I was a member of every school, church, and social organization;
Your child said "They only killed a queer, it could be worse";
My child said "That queer was my mother and your nurse";
You have taught your sons and daughters well;
You have taught them to hate and kill and condemn to hell;
Kat(Copyright, L. K. Jackson, 2007)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Can't Go Back
Many states are considering whether to pass anti-discrimination laws. Iowa and Vermont have passed marriage equality laws. The latter reversed itself regarding protections for transgender people. South Dakota, North Dakota, Illinois, Rhode Island,Connecticut,and Maryland are considering whether to pass marriage equality/anti-discrimination laws.
The one constant in all this is the ignorance of the opponents in regards to the lives of transgender people. We are equated to being perverts who prey on children and women in public bathrooms. Since when was this a bathroom issue? Once again lies and inuendo is being spread to confuse the public. What annoys me is when the opposition says being transgender is a choice.
Over the past few weeks I have mulled over where my journey will lead next. I have some tough decisions to make and they will be made. I have met gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer folks who are struggling with coming out, shame, harassment, bullying, and acceptance. To say that sexual orientation and gender identity is a choice is insulting and demeaning, in my opinion.
The attacks by our opponents are becoming more vicious. One of the decisions I have made is to educate others about what it is to be transgender. I never made the choice to be transgender. It was something that was in-born and no one can tell me not to be who I am.
I am a Christian and the plight of lgbt people has compelled me to study what the bible really says about us. I am convinced that God loves us as we are.
I am happy that progress is being made but I'll be even more happy if those we educate will see us as people who have dreams, talents, creativity and love.
Genevieve
The one constant in all this is the ignorance of the opponents in regards to the lives of transgender people. We are equated to being perverts who prey on children and women in public bathrooms. Since when was this a bathroom issue? Once again lies and inuendo is being spread to confuse the public. What annoys me is when the opposition says being transgender is a choice.
Over the past few weeks I have mulled over where my journey will lead next. I have some tough decisions to make and they will be made. I have met gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer folks who are struggling with coming out, shame, harassment, bullying, and acceptance. To say that sexual orientation and gender identity is a choice is insulting and demeaning, in my opinion.
The attacks by our opponents are becoming more vicious. One of the decisions I have made is to educate others about what it is to be transgender. I never made the choice to be transgender. It was something that was in-born and no one can tell me not to be who I am.
I am a Christian and the plight of lgbt people has compelled me to study what the bible really says about us. I am convinced that God loves us as we are.
I am happy that progress is being made but I'll be even more happy if those we educate will see us as people who have dreams, talents, creativity and love.
Genevieve
Friday, April 10, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
There comes a time when you have to cast fear aside and march triumphantly and couurageously toward the next horizon.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Fear,
Last night, I was reading read a thread posting from a transsister on another forum. She testified of her growing up and knowing that she was different. All throughout her life fear of losing friends, family, and livelihood dogged her. Everyone telling her that there was something wrong with her became an albatross around her neck.
Reflecting on her story, parts of my life are similar to hers. I always felt that I was different. I never voiced this to my family or friends but I felt that way. While S* wants to transition, I have no intentions of doing this. That matters little when I see how much she has suffered throughout her life.
This fear is real because we could lose all that has meaning to us. I am a crossdresser but I am wary of those who hate me and want to hurt me. I had a choice of denying my identity or living openly (as much as possible). I chose the latter. I think of the many transgender men, women, and youth who live in fear because others cannot accept them for who they are. I am thankful for an accepting spouse but I know many have lost everything.
I mentioned in my last blog that I have come upon a crossroad that I know will take me beyond what I have experienced to this point. When I read S's* story I am humbled by her honesty and her desire to be free from other people's negativity. I recognize that fear of the unknown can stop me cold from continuing the journey. I know that I can never return from where I came.
In due time, I will cross this threshhold. There are many folks like S* who need encouragement, acceptance, and love. They need to know that there's nothing wrong with them. They were created this way because there's a greater purpose in this. I know this because God accepted me as I am- a transgender crossdresser.
Genevieve
S*-letter is used to protect her identity
Reflecting on her story, parts of my life are similar to hers. I always felt that I was different. I never voiced this to my family or friends but I felt that way. While S* wants to transition, I have no intentions of doing this. That matters little when I see how much she has suffered throughout her life.
This fear is real because we could lose all that has meaning to us. I am a crossdresser but I am wary of those who hate me and want to hurt me. I had a choice of denying my identity or living openly (as much as possible). I chose the latter. I think of the many transgender men, women, and youth who live in fear because others cannot accept them for who they are. I am thankful for an accepting spouse but I know many have lost everything.
I mentioned in my last blog that I have come upon a crossroad that I know will take me beyond what I have experienced to this point. When I read S's* story I am humbled by her honesty and her desire to be free from other people's negativity. I recognize that fear of the unknown can stop me cold from continuing the journey. I know that I can never return from where I came.
In due time, I will cross this threshhold. There are many folks like S* who need encouragement, acceptance, and love. They need to know that there's nothing wrong with them. They were created this way because there's a greater purpose in this. I know this because God accepted me as I am- a transgender crossdresser.
Genevieve
S*-letter is used to protect her identity
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Crossroad of a Different Nature
I am coming up to another crossroads in my journey. Unlike the roads I have crossed before, this is one I have some trepidation about. Two opportunities to speak about what it is to be transgender have come up. One is to my bible fellowship. That one I will do. The other one is to do a photo session with a photojournalist. I will also discuss what it is to be a transgender veteran. I'm about 50-50 with this opportunity.
My journey has taken me to the point that I want to spend more time living as a woman. I always knew that I would come to this point because crossdressing is not a neutral activity. It's a life altering activity which has opened caverns within my being. There's so much still to be discovered.
I was born and socialized as a male but I wonder now if I ever was a man. What I desire is be myself. I thank God that I have an accepting spouse. She may not understand why I'm this way but she allows me to be who I am. In the past four years I've never been happier.
So as I approach this new territory, I am weighing my options. I will think long and hard about some decisions that need addressing. I know that I can never go back which is something that I will not do.
Genevieve
My journey has taken me to the point that I want to spend more time living as a woman. I always knew that I would come to this point because crossdressing is not a neutral activity. It's a life altering activity which has opened caverns within my being. There's so much still to be discovered.
I was born and socialized as a male but I wonder now if I ever was a man. What I desire is be myself. I thank God that I have an accepting spouse. She may not understand why I'm this way but she allows me to be who I am. In the past four years I've never been happier.
So as I approach this new territory, I am weighing my options. I will think long and hard about some decisions that need addressing. I know that I can never go back which is something that I will not do.
Genevieve
Friday, April 03, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
A community is like a ship-everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.
~Henrik Ibsen
~Henrik Ibsen
Back In Commission
I haven't posted in a week (long time for me) because I reaggravated an old injury. I strained my back and my quad. I put a wrap on my leg to keep the muscle tight. Feels better than it did when I first injured it. I had a similar injury fifteen years ago after jogging on a treadmill. Haven't been on one since.
It comes at a bad time too. I'm looking for a job and a another place to live (less expensive). I'll rest this weekend and hit the streets on Monday.
Genevieve
It comes at a bad time too. I'm looking for a job and a another place to live (less expensive). I'll rest this weekend and hit the streets on Monday.
Genevieve
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Crunch Time In Gainesville
Tomorrow, the people of Gainesville Florida will decide whether or not to keep protections for gender identity and sexual orientation in the Human Rights Ordinance. I posted a comment on another site, praying that good and upstanding people will see through the misformation, lies, and fear tactics used by the opposition. I replied to an article that stated that transgender people are predators and perverts. I was NOT going to let that comment go unanswered.
This vote will affect all Floridians regardless of sexual orientation or gender. There's a saying that if one group of people are denied their rights it won't be long before someone else will be denied theirs. This is such a crucial year for transgender people. Fear and intimidation cannot stop us from working for equality. Our lives are at stake.
This vote will affect all Floridians regardless of sexual orientation or gender. There's a saying that if one group of people are denied their rights it won't be long before someone else will be denied theirs. This is such a crucial year for transgender people. Fear and intimidation cannot stop us from working for equality. Our lives are at stake.
Friday, March 20, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
I get angry about things, then go on and work.
~Toni Morrison, African American Novelist (b.1931)
This quote can adequately sum up what we as transgender people feel. It also encourages us to go out and do something about it. There are many people who are out on the front lines fighting for transgender equality. Granted, not all of us can picket or become lobbyists but we all can do something. You can write letters to public officials. we can speak to our friends, schools and places of worship. Young people have created grass roots organizations in the wake of the Proposition 8 fiasco in California.
Anger can be channeled in a positive way to change our situation. It's our time now. We have a great opportunity to effect change where we can be treated as first class citizens.
Genevieve
~Toni Morrison, African American Novelist (b.1931)
This quote can adequately sum up what we as transgender people feel. It also encourages us to go out and do something about it. There are many people who are out on the front lines fighting for transgender equality. Granted, not all of us can picket or become lobbyists but we all can do something. You can write letters to public officials. we can speak to our friends, schools and places of worship. Young people have created grass roots organizations in the wake of the Proposition 8 fiasco in California.
Anger can be channeled in a positive way to change our situation. It's our time now. We have a great opportunity to effect change where we can be treated as first class citizens.
Genevieve
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Much is happening
The more transgender people assert their right to equality, the angrier the enemies get.
Some dirty tactics are being used by those who wish to oppress us. Over the next few days I will post a few articles and discuss them in relevance to what is happening in our nation.
One of the tactics being used is blaming glbt people for much of the ills in the country at the present time. It's nothing new. Black people were routinely blamed for the economic downturns during the nineteenth and early twentieth They were lynched, run off their properties, burned, and humiliated. Transgender people are still denied housing, jobs, and access to medical care.
I am looking over some articles, so I will make my comments when I post them. It's getting to the point where I have to speak up more than ever.
Some dirty tactics are being used by those who wish to oppress us. Over the next few days I will post a few articles and discuss them in relevance to what is happening in our nation.
One of the tactics being used is blaming glbt people for much of the ills in the country at the present time. It's nothing new. Black people were routinely blamed for the economic downturns during the nineteenth and early twentieth They were lynched, run off their properties, burned, and humiliated. Transgender people are still denied housing, jobs, and access to medical care.
I am looking over some articles, so I will make my comments when I post them. It's getting to the point where I have to speak up more than ever.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
Kindred Spirits Who Are True to Themselves
This morning I read a story about a speech delivered at Fordham University (Lincoln Center campus) by E. Patrick Johnson, the author of Sweet Tea: Black Gay Men in the South. Gay and from the south himself, Johnson interviewed seventy men between the ages of 19 and 93.
One of the subjects he interviewed was a transgender woman named Chaz/Chastity. She dressed as a woman six days a week. Chaz considered gender reassignment surgery but embraced her gender confusion and indifference as God's will for her. What grabbed Johnson was the idea that Chaz was true to herself. It convinced the author that he needed to be true to himself as a gay man.
My heart leaped when I read Chaz' story because it has similarities to mine. I'm not going to have surgery but I wear women's clothing practically everyday. I have chosen to embrace my identity and see this as a blessing. Chaz stated that on Sunday he dresses as a man so he can sing tenor in his church choir. I dress as a man when I attend church (I'm a terrible singer).
I pondered over this, I believe that Chaz and I are kindred spirits. We have chosen to be true to ourselves. We are transgender women. It's refreshing to know that there are millions of transgender women like us. It's a reason to celebrate and be proud.
One of the subjects he interviewed was a transgender woman named Chaz/Chastity. She dressed as a woman six days a week. Chaz considered gender reassignment surgery but embraced her gender confusion and indifference as God's will for her. What grabbed Johnson was the idea that Chaz was true to herself. It convinced the author that he needed to be true to himself as a gay man.
My heart leaped when I read Chaz' story because it has similarities to mine. I'm not going to have surgery but I wear women's clothing practically everyday. I have chosen to embrace my identity and see this as a blessing. Chaz stated that on Sunday he dresses as a man so he can sing tenor in his church choir. I dress as a man when I attend church (I'm a terrible singer).
I pondered over this, I believe that Chaz and I are kindred spirits. We have chosen to be true to ourselves. We are transgender women. It's refreshing to know that there are millions of transgender women like us. It's a reason to celebrate and be proud.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
They Are Our Children
I read an article today by Suzan titled Not My Child. The article discusses about how many LGBT/T children are disowned by their families. These children are abused by the medical profession and institutions which wants to make them into something they are not.
Many of these children come to large metropolises and survive anyway they know how.
The author of this article (www.womenborntranssexual.com) lived as a sex worker, was addicted to drugs. She has seen friends die by OD's or violence. I ask myself how can any parent throw their flesh and blood to the wolves of debauchery and death because of their sexuality or gender identity? Sad to say that the trans community hasn't always stepped up on their behalf.
I see many youth at the community center in my city. Many stay there all day because it's a place where they feel safe. It's where they can be themselves. It's so sad that this one of the few places where they don't have to feel they are ostracized. I am applying for an internship to be a peer educator. Transgender communities of color are where there are great needs. My heart was touched when I found this oportunity on the website.
When I was working towards by bachelor's degree, oe reason I wanted to become an educator is to make a difference. Suzan's article brought it home to me that LGBT/T youth need for places where they can be safe. Some will need medical, psychiatric, and spiritual care. Many will need to learn marketable job skills and education. To me the greatest need is for these precious soul is be loved and accepted for who they are.
Many of these children come to large metropolises and survive anyway they know how.
The author of this article (www.womenborntranssexual.com) lived as a sex worker, was addicted to drugs. She has seen friends die by OD's or violence. I ask myself how can any parent throw their flesh and blood to the wolves of debauchery and death because of their sexuality or gender identity? Sad to say that the trans community hasn't always stepped up on their behalf.
I see many youth at the community center in my city. Many stay there all day because it's a place where they feel safe. It's where they can be themselves. It's so sad that this one of the few places where they don't have to feel they are ostracized. I am applying for an internship to be a peer educator. Transgender communities of color are where there are great needs. My heart was touched when I found this oportunity on the website.
When I was working towards by bachelor's degree, oe reason I wanted to become an educator is to make a difference. Suzan's article brought it home to me that LGBT/T youth need for places where they can be safe. Some will need medical, psychiatric, and spiritual care. Many will need to learn marketable job skills and education. To me the greatest need is for these precious soul is be loved and accepted for who they are.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Uncharted Waters
Last night, I attend a gathering at a neighborhood gathering place. A video was shown about student activism during the early days of the civil right movement. Those young people were attacked and villified by the racist white power structure of Mississippi in the early 1960's. I was so proud of their courage in the face of almost certain death.
During the question and answer period I shared with gathering about my volunteerism. The question was asked about student activism then and the need for activism. I said that activism and volunteerism is needed now more than ever. Later as I reminisced the evening, I see that my decision last year to speak out against injustice is subtlely nudging me into unchartered waters.
I am pursuing an internship as a peer counselor at the community center. The position will be to counsel transgender people of color. I have been wanting to be more involved in the LGBT community and this seems to be a great opportunity. I remember saying to one of my professors in college that my goal is to teach. I stated that I don't believe that it will be in a traditonal setting. Looks like it's heading that way and I am glad.
Genevieve
During the question and answer period I shared with gathering about my volunteerism. The question was asked about student activism then and the need for activism. I said that activism and volunteerism is needed now more than ever. Later as I reminisced the evening, I see that my decision last year to speak out against injustice is subtlely nudging me into unchartered waters.
I am pursuing an internship as a peer counselor at the community center. The position will be to counsel transgender people of color. I have been wanting to be more involved in the LGBT community and this seems to be a great opportunity. I remember saying to one of my professors in college that my goal is to teach. I stated that I don't believe that it will be in a traditonal setting. Looks like it's heading that way and I am glad.
Genevieve
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
I would rather speak for what is right and be hated than to speak false platitudes and be loved.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Be Encouraged!
In these times, people need encouragement. There's so much happening in the world these that life can sometimes can be overwhelming. I have read a number of posts on the forums that are some folks struggling to figure out who they are. Others are transitioning and are going through changes. Some may be down in the dumps.
I want to encourage you to be positive. You're not alone out there. There are people who love you and are rooting for your success. Remember, during the darkest times the sunshine is just around the corner.
Genevieve
I want to encourage you to be positive. You're not alone out there. There are people who love you and are rooting for your success. Remember, during the darkest times the sunshine is just around the corner.
Genevieve
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Part Two
On my post from Friday, I read the quote by this great leader and decided to do a follow-up. Like African Americans did during the civil rights movement, transgender people are standing up to inequality and discrimination.
When I came out I made a choice that I was not going back into the closet. I have chosen to be out in public and express who I am. I have chosen to respond to those who say we are evil and perverted. Granted, it may not get any publicity but I'm sure many others are doing the same. With many of the transgender deaths being women of color, I could not sit idly by while some transphobe spews his vitriole at my sisters, brothers, children, and friends. I never sought to be an activist but I had to take action.
When I meditated further on Mister Rustin's quote, I surmised because transgender people are standing up the attacks are more violent and vicious. The dignity of every person is worth standing up for. I have chosen to stand up for those who are oppressed. Brother Rustin is right about dignity being conferred on people who stand up. Many more are needed.
Genevieve
When I came out I made a choice that I was not going back into the closet. I have chosen to be out in public and express who I am. I have chosen to respond to those who say we are evil and perverted. Granted, it may not get any publicity but I'm sure many others are doing the same. With many of the transgender deaths being women of color, I could not sit idly by while some transphobe spews his vitriole at my sisters, brothers, children, and friends. I never sought to be an activist but I had to take action.
When I meditated further on Mister Rustin's quote, I surmised because transgender people are standing up the attacks are more violent and vicious. The dignity of every person is worth standing up for. I have chosen to stand up for those who are oppressed. Brother Rustin is right about dignity being conferred on people who stand up. Many more are needed.
Genevieve
Friday, February 20, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being,
his very act of protest confers dignity on him.
~Bayard Rustin, African-American leader (1910-1987)
his very act of protest confers dignity on him.
~Bayard Rustin, African-American leader (1910-1987)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Perceptions About Crossdressers Changing?
I have been out in public for a few years now and I have noticed changes in the public's perception about crossdressers. My comfort level is to the point of being totall natural. I do normal activities lke anyone else. I have dined in restaurants, shopped, browsed bookstores, and spoken to people in public. People don't seem to notice. I am totally comfortable being out.
I think the public's perception about crossdressers is changing albeit slowly. I have received compliments from both men and women. I have also been asked out on dates and proposed to a couple of times. Perhaps, I am TOO good at passing. I'm enjoying and loving the journey and wouldn't change a thing.
Genevieve
I think the public's perception about crossdressers is changing albeit slowly. I have received compliments from both men and women. I have also been asked out on dates and proposed to a couple of times. Perhaps, I am TOO good at passing. I'm enjoying and loving the journey and wouldn't change a thing.
Genevieve
Friday, February 13, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Jesus is the beacon of light to those who are drowning
in the seas of hopelessness and despair.
He will bring us the safe port of His love and care.
in the seas of hopelessness and despair.
He will bring us the safe port of His love and care.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Vets Meeting
Yesterday I attended my monthy veterans meeting. I am a member of the America Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER). I remember when I attended my first meeting two years ago. I never desired to be a part of a vets group but I felt at home. AVER is the only glbt veterans group in New York. There are a number of transgender veterans in the group. A transgender woman came to the meeting yesterday. Business was discussed, plans were made for future activities and ideas thrashed out.
I am proud of being a trasngender veteran. At the time I was in the service I never knew that I was transgender until a few years ago. Just because I was in the macho world of the military, it didn't do anything to quench the feelings of difference that were in me. I knew of gay and lesbian soldiers in my unit. It didn't matter to me because they were my comrades.
One of horrible pieces of legislation is the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell ' amendment". Many intelligent and skilled lgbt soldiers are discharged from the service if their gender or sexual orientation differed from the norm. Transgender soldiers have served in the military throughout the history of this country. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice and yet they could not be open about who they are .
American Veterans for Equal Rights is working to get 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed. They are working to make sure that lgbt vets get the services they are entitled to. This is what I'm concerned about.
I am proud of being a trasngender veteran. At the time I was in the service I never knew that I was transgender until a few years ago. Just because I was in the macho world of the military, it didn't do anything to quench the feelings of difference that were in me. I knew of gay and lesbian soldiers in my unit. It didn't matter to me because they were my comrades.
One of horrible pieces of legislation is the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell ' amendment". Many intelligent and skilled lgbt soldiers are discharged from the service if their gender or sexual orientation differed from the norm. Transgender soldiers have served in the military throughout the history of this country. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice and yet they could not be open about who they are .
American Veterans for Equal Rights is working to get 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed. They are working to make sure that lgbt vets get the services they are entitled to. This is what I'm concerned about.
Friday, February 06, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
How you perceive yourself will go a long way in determining
your own contentment with life.
your own contentment with life.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Expectations
It's funny how expectations are foisted upon us. There are those of our parents, teachers, church, community, friends, relatives, and other people and institutions. We have our own expectations, also. What happens if our expectations are vastly different from that of the greater society? Will there be support? Acceptance? Love? Will others understand the way we feel?
Don't get me wrong! Expectations are fine. A question I sometimes pose to a person is what do they want for themselves? Sometimes people get so busy fulfilling others expectations that they neglect their own. Today, I read a number of threads and blogs by glbt people folks who are struggling with accepting their sexuality or gender. It grieves me that they fear rejection, loss of family and livelihood, and loneliness. I wish that I could sit with and share that it's not wrong to have goals and desires different from what others say they should be.
Being a transgender woman wasn't expected of me. It was a shock to my spouse but thankfully she has accepted my transgenderism as a part of me. I implore my glbt sisters and brothers that there's nothing wrong with questioning aspects of your life that are not in tune with other people program. You have dreams and desires. Your sexuality and gender are part of those dreams. I can't live to others expectations and neither can you. I encourage you seek answers to those questions you may have. Remember, many people have been blessed because they were willing to be who they do what was not expected of them. Others have benefitted. More will be be.
Don't get me wrong! Expectations are fine. A question I sometimes pose to a person is what do they want for themselves? Sometimes people get so busy fulfilling others expectations that they neglect their own. Today, I read a number of threads and blogs by glbt people folks who are struggling with accepting their sexuality or gender. It grieves me that they fear rejection, loss of family and livelihood, and loneliness. I wish that I could sit with and share that it's not wrong to have goals and desires different from what others say they should be.
Being a transgender woman wasn't expected of me. It was a shock to my spouse but thankfully she has accepted my transgenderism as a part of me. I implore my glbt sisters and brothers that there's nothing wrong with questioning aspects of your life that are not in tune with other people program. You have dreams and desires. Your sexuality and gender are part of those dreams. I can't live to others expectations and neither can you. I encourage you seek answers to those questions you may have. Remember, many people have been blessed because they were willing to be who they do what was not expected of them. Others have benefitted. More will be be.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Myths
One of the results of being a gender variant person is that many of the myths perpetrated upon us have been greatly erroneous. The medical, legal, and religious establishments have been proven wrong about who we are. This may not be a profound comment but it demonstrates that gender variant people are making marks about the perceptions people have about us.
It's amazing how little people know about how we live. If I were to share to people why I crossdress, I'm sure some would hold on to the idea that we are perverted. I have attended a few events where I was the only transgender person. Each time I was able to share how transgender people have long been at the forefront of the liberation movement. I also shared that while we have differences, we share much in common with each other. This is what bothers me about HRC and other groups where the 'T' is just window dressing.
Myth busting is something that has to be done if the public's perception of gender variant people is going to be changed. Those groups would seek to discriminate against us must be confronted. I'm pleased to see that people of color are taking the lead in this because they are ignored by many mainstream lgbt organizations. Most of the transgender deaths are women of color.
Transgender people have existed throughout history. I have been researching quite a bit about it and am preparing essays on the subject. I'm tired of the perception that we're just interested in sex. We are vibrant, creative, and productive people who have contributed much to the improvement of life through the centuries. It's time that society acknowledges that.
It's amazing how little people know about how we live. If I were to share to people why I crossdress, I'm sure some would hold on to the idea that we are perverted. I have attended a few events where I was the only transgender person. Each time I was able to share how transgender people have long been at the forefront of the liberation movement. I also shared that while we have differences, we share much in common with each other. This is what bothers me about HRC and other groups where the 'T' is just window dressing.
Myth busting is something that has to be done if the public's perception of gender variant people is going to be changed. Those groups would seek to discriminate against us must be confronted. I'm pleased to see that people of color are taking the lead in this because they are ignored by many mainstream lgbt organizations. Most of the transgender deaths are women of color.
Transgender people have existed throughout history. I have been researching quite a bit about it and am preparing essays on the subject. I'm tired of the perception that we're just interested in sex. We are vibrant, creative, and productive people who have contributed much to the improvement of life through the centuries. It's time that society acknowledges that.
Friday, January 30, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
The road we have traveled may not have been planned,
but we may be closer to our destination.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Best Laid Plans
I have reflected over the past several days over where this journey is taking me. In my bible discussion Tuesday evening, I shared that being transgender certainly was not in my plans. Crossdressing wasn't even on my radar. Sometimes our plans may not be what God has in mind for us.
There is a verse in Romans 8:28 which says that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. I always knew that there was a purpose in life for me. I didn't know what it was but I never doubted for a moment that there was a goal or need to I was to fulfill. It may account for the life long feeling that I was different.
I remember times when nothing seem to work out. The trials and travails of life led me to a personal relationship with God. I remember the dry periods where nothing seemed to quench the parched landscape of my heart. I remember the several years of yearnings, struggles, and disappointments prior to my coming out. It was as if I was wandering through the wilderness with no direction.
All throughout history, ordinary people have performed extraordinary acts. It resulted in the improvement of many lives. Many of the scientific, social, and economic advances never would have happened if someone wasn't willing to step out from among the crowds. I could have chosen to reject the fact that I was transgender. I would have missed out on meeting people who are ostracized because of gender identity and sexual orientation. God does not create clones. No two people are alike.
Just because our original plans may not have worked out doesn't mean that our lives are over. Life never goes in a straight line. It's not that difficulties won't come but it's how we respond when challenges do come. I am so happy that I chose to embrace my gender identity. The result was inner peace and contentment. I have also come to love a group of people that aren't always loved.
God has always loved the poor, the downtrodden, the foreigner, the widow, and the fatherless and motherless, and the oppressed. I believe that glbt people are among them. I am so glad that my plans didn't work out.
Genevieve
There is a verse in Romans 8:28 which says that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. I always knew that there was a purpose in life for me. I didn't know what it was but I never doubted for a moment that there was a goal or need to I was to fulfill. It may account for the life long feeling that I was different.
I remember times when nothing seem to work out. The trials and travails of life led me to a personal relationship with God. I remember the dry periods where nothing seemed to quench the parched landscape of my heart. I remember the several years of yearnings, struggles, and disappointments prior to my coming out. It was as if I was wandering through the wilderness with no direction.
All throughout history, ordinary people have performed extraordinary acts. It resulted in the improvement of many lives. Many of the scientific, social, and economic advances never would have happened if someone wasn't willing to step out from among the crowds. I could have chosen to reject the fact that I was transgender. I would have missed out on meeting people who are ostracized because of gender identity and sexual orientation. God does not create clones. No two people are alike.
Just because our original plans may not have worked out doesn't mean that our lives are over. Life never goes in a straight line. It's not that difficulties won't come but it's how we respond when challenges do come. I am so happy that I chose to embrace my gender identity. The result was inner peace and contentment. I have also come to love a group of people that aren't always loved.
God has always loved the poor, the downtrodden, the foreigner, the widow, and the fatherless and motherless, and the oppressed. I believe that glbt people are among them. I am so glad that my plans didn't work out.
Genevieve
Friday, January 23, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Contentment is being satisfied with who one is.
I have been thinking about this word all day. It is a heartfelt prayer that I have for all my transgender sisters and brothers. The fiery darts of hate and negativism are thrust our way almost daily.
I'll never forget that day in August 2006. I was strolling through the park enjoying the warm weather. A warm feeling swept over me. I felt relaxed and serene with my surroundings. For the first time, I felt that I could call myself a transgender woman and emphatically mean it. I was content with my identity. The inner angst was gone. Peace filled my heart. I was truly complete.
I have been thinking about this word all day. It is a heartfelt prayer that I have for all my transgender sisters and brothers. The fiery darts of hate and negativism are thrust our way almost daily.
I'll never forget that day in August 2006. I was strolling through the park enjoying the warm weather. A warm feeling swept over me. I felt relaxed and serene with my surroundings. For the first time, I felt that I could call myself a transgender woman and emphatically mean it. I was content with my identity. The inner angst was gone. Peace filled my heart. I was truly complete.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Commitment
As the birthday of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King is celebrated today, there are many words that can describe this great man. I was a twenty year old college student the day he was assassinated. April 4, 1968 is a day forever etched in my mind and heart.
Commitment is the one word I associate with Dr. King. People who are dedicated and committed to a cause have always been favorites of mine. Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, Jesus, William Tyndale are four other people besides Dr. King would sacrificed everthing to improve the lot of others. I know a young woman who has dedicated about fifteen years of her life to helping to create an independent media that addresses the needs of poor and working class people.
Dr. King was threatened, jailed, arrested, and lambasted by racists, and yet he stayed the course. He used non violence to bring about change to the lives of black people in America. He sought to improve the lives of all people, regardless of race.
Committment means sacrifice, work, educating one self, selflessness. It means carrying on the work despite failures, criticism, a lack of resources. Committed people see the bigger picture. Dr. King saw the big picture. He said that if a group of people are oppressed, we are all oppressed. I believe that Dr. King may have referred to transgender people.
Commitment means that we are willing to reach out to people who may not agree with us. Committed people are respected for their efforts though folks may not agree with them. I have seen that throughout much of my life. It's amazing how Dr King's committment to justice brought the civil rights, peace and labor movements together. I sincerely believed that change in this country was within reach. An assassin's bullet ended it.
Dr. King showed all of us that commitment to a cause can and will bring about change. He reached out to people and changed hearts ad minds. I see many who are committed to changing the lot of lgbt people, and transgender people in particular. Transgender people of color make up many of the transgender murder victims.
Dr. King was a voice for oppressed people. He committed his life to changing the lives of all people. When I think about Dr. King, his commitment to justice entices me to do the same.
Genevieve
Commitment is the one word I associate with Dr. King. People who are dedicated and committed to a cause have always been favorites of mine. Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, Jesus, William Tyndale are four other people besides Dr. King would sacrificed everthing to improve the lot of others. I know a young woman who has dedicated about fifteen years of her life to helping to create an independent media that addresses the needs of poor and working class people.
Dr. King was threatened, jailed, arrested, and lambasted by racists, and yet he stayed the course. He used non violence to bring about change to the lives of black people in America. He sought to improve the lives of all people, regardless of race.
Committment means sacrifice, work, educating one self, selflessness. It means carrying on the work despite failures, criticism, a lack of resources. Committed people see the bigger picture. Dr. King saw the big picture. He said that if a group of people are oppressed, we are all oppressed. I believe that Dr. King may have referred to transgender people.
Commitment means that we are willing to reach out to people who may not agree with us. Committed people are respected for their efforts though folks may not agree with them. I have seen that throughout much of my life. It's amazing how Dr King's committment to justice brought the civil rights, peace and labor movements together. I sincerely believed that change in this country was within reach. An assassin's bullet ended it.
Dr. King showed all of us that commitment to a cause can and will bring about change. He reached out to people and changed hearts ad minds. I see many who are committed to changing the lot of lgbt people, and transgender people in particular. Transgender people of color make up many of the transgender murder victims.
Dr. King was a voice for oppressed people. He committed his life to changing the lives of all people. When I think about Dr. King, his commitment to justice entices me to do the same.
Genevieve
Friday, January 16, 2009
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Part of being an activist is that I be willing to go against conventional wisdom. It is also the willingness to stand in the face of bigotry and oppression.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Reassessing My Life
January isn't over and already I see that there will more changes in my life than I imagined. When they will happen I don't know but they will happen.
Circumstances have forced me to challenge myself and really work on my home business. I need to overcome some fears I have and move ahead. My thought process will need to change. I see the same analogy in regards to how I can best utilize my talents in working for the equality of transgender people. I already write for an online magazine. The magazine has encouraged many and I'm thankful for that.
I have mentioned that transgender people will need to do things for themselves. I'm thankful for all our allies and I love them but transgender people will have to do things for ourselves. Writing is one way I can help in the fight for equality. I am a member of a couple of organizations, yet I believe that I can do more.
Part of what drives me is that much time is wasted on petty differences. Transgender Day of Remembrance demonstrates that much remains to be done. I came out in my mid fifties. I don't know how much time the Lord has given me but I want to make difference. I'm thankful for young people become active and I applaud and support their efforts. I believe that many glbt organizations have become too 'status quo'. If the protests on the passage of prop 8 is any indication, I believe that some goals and ideologies of some glbt organizations will need to be examined.
I don't know why I am writing like this but i see that 2009 is a pivotal year for transgender people. It would be a shame if in 2010 we are just an afterthought.
Circumstances have forced me to challenge myself and really work on my home business. I need to overcome some fears I have and move ahead. My thought process will need to change. I see the same analogy in regards to how I can best utilize my talents in working for the equality of transgender people. I already write for an online magazine. The magazine has encouraged many and I'm thankful for that.
I have mentioned that transgender people will need to do things for themselves. I'm thankful for all our allies and I love them but transgender people will have to do things for ourselves. Writing is one way I can help in the fight for equality. I am a member of a couple of organizations, yet I believe that I can do more.
Part of what drives me is that much time is wasted on petty differences. Transgender Day of Remembrance demonstrates that much remains to be done. I came out in my mid fifties. I don't know how much time the Lord has given me but I want to make difference. I'm thankful for young people become active and I applaud and support their efforts. I believe that many glbt organizations have become too 'status quo'. If the protests on the passage of prop 8 is any indication, I believe that some goals and ideologies of some glbt organizations will need to be examined.
I don't know why I am writing like this but i see that 2009 is a pivotal year for transgender people. It would be a shame if in 2010 we are just an afterthought.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Journeys
Yesterday, I was having my devotions when I read the something that describes my journey as a transgender person.
Our lives are journeys that often detour us to places we least expect. But that's
all right. Journeys rarely go as planned. Having a guide is better than making it alone.
Thanks be to God who endures with us, and the Lord Christ who, if asked, travels
with us wherever we go.
~ from the Devotional Day By Day, Wednesday, January 7, 2009
This describes my journeys so well.
Our lives are journeys that often detour us to places we least expect. But that's
all right. Journeys rarely go as planned. Having a guide is better than making it alone.
Thanks be to God who endures with us, and the Lord Christ who, if asked, travels
with us wherever we go.
~ from the Devotional Day By Day, Wednesday, January 7, 2009
This describes my journeys so well.
Monday, January 05, 2009
A Different Year By Far
Already I see that 2009 will be quite different from 2008. I wrote down the goals that want to achieve, but I see more development, education, and trials ahead. Whatever will help someone else is certainly worth the effort.
I'm reading the book 'Transgeder History' by Susan Stryker. After I finish this book, I will reread 'Crossing Over:Liberating the Transgender Christian' by Vanessa Sheridan. I read these two books within the past year plus. They are chock full of information that I need to read these books again. Educating the public is still a great need that I must act upon.
My relationship with God is the most important part of my life and I will not neglect that. I also see that my mind and spirit needs to be stretched and challenged because we are in the midst of one of the greatest times in history for transgender people. I have been seeking the scriptures for guidance. With all the falsehoods and misinformation going around as fact, I cannot sit idly by while people are dying.
In the past I have emphasized the point that no one should be ashamed of who they are. Neither should they be made to feel ashamed by others. This year I will be more outspoken about this because I'm tired of people dumping on us because of who we are. When I thought it this could be a matter of life and death for someone. I see myself doing more writing like never before. My heart burns within me because there's so much to say.
When I began my journey I understood that I could never go back. I see some twists and turns ahead but it won't deter me from where I need to go. In the end, I pray that another person will be helped.
Genevieve
I'm reading the book 'Transgeder History' by Susan Stryker. After I finish this book, I will reread 'Crossing Over:Liberating the Transgender Christian' by Vanessa Sheridan. I read these two books within the past year plus. They are chock full of information that I need to read these books again. Educating the public is still a great need that I must act upon.
My relationship with God is the most important part of my life and I will not neglect that. I also see that my mind and spirit needs to be stretched and challenged because we are in the midst of one of the greatest times in history for transgender people. I have been seeking the scriptures for guidance. With all the falsehoods and misinformation going around as fact, I cannot sit idly by while people are dying.
In the past I have emphasized the point that no one should be ashamed of who they are. Neither should they be made to feel ashamed by others. This year I will be more outspoken about this because I'm tired of people dumping on us because of who we are. When I thought it this could be a matter of life and death for someone. I see myself doing more writing like never before. My heart burns within me because there's so much to say.
When I began my journey I understood that I could never go back. I see some twists and turns ahead but it won't deter me from where I need to go. In the end, I pray that another person will be helped.
Genevieve
Friday, January 02, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
Essays in 2009
One of my goals for 2009 is to write at least ten essays related to transgender issues. I became somewhat of an activist last year. I was tired of people trashing us. I wasn't about to sit idly by while we are being murdered, denied our rights, and spat upon with hateful vitriole from the religious and social institutions.
I read quite a bit about things which affect us. I have related my experience as a transgender individual on this blog. There are so many stories out there that I would love to glean and comment about. The one criteria I have is to present gender variant people in a positive light. I see how much education of the public is greatly needed.
I read quite a bit about things which affect us. I have related my experience as a transgender individual on this blog. There are so many stories out there that I would love to glean and comment about. The one criteria I have is to present gender variant people in a positive light. I see how much education of the public is greatly needed.
Friday, December 26, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Remember those who are lonely. Call them. Visit them. Help them. Above all, tell them that you love them.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Yesterday, I loaded a picture of a lighthouse which you see on the right. I have a small collection of lighthouses from all around the country. The first lighthouse built in America was constructed on Little Brewster Island off the coast of Massachusetts in 1716.
I chose this particular photo over a more genteel scene. This scene may describe what some of us have gone through as gender variant people. Life can toss us around like the rough waves in the photo. The beacon warns seafaring vessels of rock jetties and shallow shoals. That beacon shining out in the dark and rough seas have saved many a vessel from a watery abyss.
God has been a beacon of light for me during those dark times in life. It doesn't have to be gender concerns only. It can be illness, financial difficulties, numerous decisions that have to be made. So many things can swarm around me, threatening to drown me in confusion. When I stop and see that beacon of light in Jesus, I keep my eyes on him until I arrive in safe port.
I can think of the many times when gender confuson threatened to swallow everything dear to me. I'll never forget the day when God confirmed to me so intimately that he accepted me as I am. I have a number of highlights and goals achieved this year, but this by far was tops.
My transgender and gender variant friend, when life is topsy-turvy threatening to drown you, look up! The beacon from the lighthouse is shining, guiding you to safe and calm port.
I chose this particular photo over a more genteel scene. This scene may describe what some of us have gone through as gender variant people. Life can toss us around like the rough waves in the photo. The beacon warns seafaring vessels of rock jetties and shallow shoals. That beacon shining out in the dark and rough seas have saved many a vessel from a watery abyss.
God has been a beacon of light for me during those dark times in life. It doesn't have to be gender concerns only. It can be illness, financial difficulties, numerous decisions that have to be made. So many things can swarm around me, threatening to drown me in confusion. When I stop and see that beacon of light in Jesus, I keep my eyes on him until I arrive in safe port.
I can think of the many times when gender confuson threatened to swallow everything dear to me. I'll never forget the day when God confirmed to me so intimately that he accepted me as I am. I have a number of highlights and goals achieved this year, but this by far was tops.
My transgender and gender variant friend, when life is topsy-turvy threatening to drown you, look up! The beacon from the lighthouse is shining, guiding you to safe and calm port.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Fringe Benefits
I have achieved many of the goals that set this past January. I also acheived some things I never expected. One of those benefits was to realize how intertwined my life is with the whole LGBT community. Five years ago, there was no way I could have envisioned that I would be a part of this diverse community.
During these days of reflection, I realize what things are really important to me. Coming out only three plus years ago, I feel that I have a pulse on many sides of the gender divide. Transgender people have a rich history that's always existed but was either hidden or ignored. I also have spoken out more about the mistreatment transgender people receive from social and religious institutions.
These benefits are something I never sought or thought of. It just was presented to me and I decided to meet the challenges. It been said that crisis can bring out attributes you never knew you possessed. That's certainly been the case with me. I have Native-American ancestry, so it's very possible that a Native-American prophecy is beng fulfilled in my life. I'm not afraid about where my journey will carry me. I just pray that other people will benefit from my example.
I find it odd that society says that we're an abomination and yet we've contributed more to the betterment of humanity than given credit for. It's very possible that we are debunking a lot of myths about gender and sexuality. I've said a lot here in this particular blog but encouragement and love are needed in great supply during this time of year.
During these days of reflection, I realize what things are really important to me. Coming out only three plus years ago, I feel that I have a pulse on many sides of the gender divide. Transgender people have a rich history that's always existed but was either hidden or ignored. I also have spoken out more about the mistreatment transgender people receive from social and religious institutions.
These benefits are something I never sought or thought of. It just was presented to me and I decided to meet the challenges. It been said that crisis can bring out attributes you never knew you possessed. That's certainly been the case with me. I have Native-American ancestry, so it's very possible that a Native-American prophecy is beng fulfilled in my life. I'm not afraid about where my journey will carry me. I just pray that other people will benefit from my example.
I find it odd that society says that we're an abomination and yet we've contributed more to the betterment of humanity than given credit for. It's very possible that we are debunking a lot of myths about gender and sexuality. I've said a lot here in this particular blog but encouragement and love are needed in great supply during this time of year.
Friday, December 12, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Reflection can illuminate the many blessings that have been showered on us.
The holiday season has been a time of reflection for me for fifteen or twenty years now. I remember as a young person I looked forward to receiving gifts, go to parties, and a festive atmosphere. Now I just reflect on what has happened in the past year.
This year I thought quite a bit about my mom. I thought about how I was raised and the lessons that were taught to me and my younger siblings. There's the saying that no one ever really strays away from their roots and that's very true. I realize how my feminine inclinations were formulated. I enjoyed learning fashion and color schemes because I wanted to be coordinated. Some of the chores associated with women I learned to do. Cleaning house, cooking, sewing (a little bit) were chores that never phased me as a male.
I am a transgender individual today and I suspect that I was always trans. This year I was out in public quite a bit. Wearing women's clothing feels natural to me. My parents were not around when I came out as trans but I have no doubt that they would have loved me regardless. My mom respected other people's opinions even if she didn't agree with them. I remember most when she would invite people over to her home who were alone during the holidays. Many times they expressed their deep appreciation for her hospitality. This is what I'll always remember about her.
Upon reflection this is what I wish to emulate; a hospitable and friendly spirit. I think about many of my transgender brothers and sisters who may be lonely or depressed during this time. I pray that they will be reminded that they are special and appreciated. I appreciate all of you who came before me. Most of all, I thank my parents for instilling in me the values that I follow today.
Gennee
The holiday season has been a time of reflection for me for fifteen or twenty years now. I remember as a young person I looked forward to receiving gifts, go to parties, and a festive atmosphere. Now I just reflect on what has happened in the past year.
This year I thought quite a bit about my mom. I thought about how I was raised and the lessons that were taught to me and my younger siblings. There's the saying that no one ever really strays away from their roots and that's very true. I realize how my feminine inclinations were formulated. I enjoyed learning fashion and color schemes because I wanted to be coordinated. Some of the chores associated with women I learned to do. Cleaning house, cooking, sewing (a little bit) were chores that never phased me as a male.
I am a transgender individual today and I suspect that I was always trans. This year I was out in public quite a bit. Wearing women's clothing feels natural to me. My parents were not around when I came out as trans but I have no doubt that they would have loved me regardless. My mom respected other people's opinions even if she didn't agree with them. I remember most when she would invite people over to her home who were alone during the holidays. Many times they expressed their deep appreciation for her hospitality. This is what I'll always remember about her.
Upon reflection this is what I wish to emulate; a hospitable and friendly spirit. I think about many of my transgender brothers and sisters who may be lonely or depressed during this time. I pray that they will be reminded that they are special and appreciated. I appreciate all of you who came before me. Most of all, I thank my parents for instilling in me the values that I follow today.
Gennee
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
RESOURCES
There are many resources available to those of us who are gender varient. Below is a few recommendations of mine which believe are helpful. Some of the sites are already posted on the sidebar. I will add more gradually.
Recommended Books
Transgender History-Susan Stryker
Gender Outlaw-Kate Bornstein
Transgender Warrior-Leslie Feinberg
Recommend Sites
www.lauras-playground.com a wealth of information about all things transgender.
www.crossdressers.com - some wonderful info here.
www.crossdresserclub.com
www.transgendershopping.com
Recommended Books
Transgender History-Susan Stryker
Gender Outlaw-Kate Bornstein
Transgender Warrior-Leslie Feinberg
Recommend Sites
www.lauras-playground.com a wealth of information about all things transgender.
www.crossdressers.com - some wonderful info here.
www.crossdresserclub.com
www.transgendershopping.com
Friday, December 05, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
WORLD AIDS DAY
Today is World Aids Day. There will be memorials to those lost to the disease. It affects every strata of society. Gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, and heterosexual. You don't hear much about how AIDS affects transgender people but the rates of infection are worse than in the gay and lesbian populace.
In the past year, I have been moved from indifference to great concern. I have read much about people who lives are affected by AIDS. What really grabbed me was that the grieving process can still go on many years after the individual's passing. How anyone can spew out hatred towards those afflicted is cruel and callous.
I salute those who are on the front lines and working behind the scenes to find a cure. As I am writing this blog at this very moment, strong feelings of sorrow are ruminating within my spirit. I've never lost anyone to AIDS but I do feel for those who have.
In the past year, I have been moved from indifference to great concern. I have read much about people who lives are affected by AIDS. What really grabbed me was that the grieving process can still go on many years after the individual's passing. How anyone can spew out hatred towards those afflicted is cruel and callous.
I salute those who are on the front lines and working behind the scenes to find a cure. As I am writing this blog at this very moment, strong feelings of sorrow are ruminating within my spirit. I've never lost anyone to AIDS but I do feel for those who have.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
TDOR
On Thursday, I attended the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremonies at the community center here in New York. About 200 people marched around the block carrying candles in honor of those lost to violence. Back at the center, there were speakers and comments from people in the audience. Many related their experiences as transpeople and what the day meant to them. One trans man shared that he is still recovering from being attacked and raped.
I have ambivalent feelings about TDOR; I mourn for my brothers and sisters lost to violence and yet I am encouraged by the progress we have made. There were many young people present so I am confident that the future will be bright for transgender people. They are open about who they are and will not go into the closet.
On reflection, it is my duty that I attend TDOR. It's time for transgender people to stand up and make our presence felt. TDOR encourages me to keep pressing on in the march to transgender equality. I had the chance to read reports of TDORs in other parts of the country ad the world. Some places such as Africa have it worse tan we do here in the states. I am in full supports of my brothers and sisters all around the world. I pray that in the next year equality will be closer to reality.
Genevieve
I have ambivalent feelings about TDOR; I mourn for my brothers and sisters lost to violence and yet I am encouraged by the progress we have made. There were many young people present so I am confident that the future will be bright for transgender people. They are open about who they are and will not go into the closet.
On reflection, it is my duty that I attend TDOR. It's time for transgender people to stand up and make our presence felt. TDOR encourages me to keep pressing on in the march to transgender equality. I had the chance to read reports of TDORs in other parts of the country ad the world. Some places such as Africa have it worse tan we do here in the states. I am in full supports of my brothers and sisters all around the world. I pray that in the next year equality will be closer to reality.
Genevieve
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Changes
"Changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."
I posted this quote by Anatole France on another site that I maintain. I ruminated on this quote for a few days and concluded that these words speak to everyone. It is true to those of us who are gender variant. As a transgender and cross dresser, my perspective about life has changed. These changes needed to be made if life was to be joyous; not tension-filled.
For a year I was learning who I was. Gender was now part of my own personal well being where before it was never an issue. I was apprehensive and yet I continued on my journey. Changes were more on the emotional level. I discovered the feminine side of my personality. To deny it was to succumb to the wishes and desires of those who say that I'm suppose to do male things. I needed to leave some thought patterns behind and develop new ones that were untapped and undeveloped. I realized that I may incur the wrath of some people but change can do that.
During the presidential election, a recurring theme was 'We need change!'. The question I ask is that are we willing to change? Am I willing to make the changes in me that are necessary? I cannot ask others to do something that wouldn't do myself. My heart goes out to my transsexual brothers and sisters because the changes with much sacrifice. Some have lost many of the things that were dear to them. I'm sure transitioning wasn't easy, but the change was for their well being.
I lost some things from the old life; but I have gained a new perspective about gender and sexuality. I have fallen in love with people who society has scorned and ridiculed. As a gender variant person, I better understand that change helps me to grow and see life from another point of view. I know more changes will be in store. If my changing will benefit someone else's life, in the battle cry I heard during this current administration; 'Bring It On!'
I posted this quote by Anatole France on another site that I maintain. I ruminated on this quote for a few days and concluded that these words speak to everyone. It is true to those of us who are gender variant. As a transgender and cross dresser, my perspective about life has changed. These changes needed to be made if life was to be joyous; not tension-filled.
For a year I was learning who I was. Gender was now part of my own personal well being where before it was never an issue. I was apprehensive and yet I continued on my journey. Changes were more on the emotional level. I discovered the feminine side of my personality. To deny it was to succumb to the wishes and desires of those who say that I'm suppose to do male things. I needed to leave some thought patterns behind and develop new ones that were untapped and undeveloped. I realized that I may incur the wrath of some people but change can do that.
During the presidential election, a recurring theme was 'We need change!'. The question I ask is that are we willing to change? Am I willing to make the changes in me that are necessary? I cannot ask others to do something that wouldn't do myself. My heart goes out to my transsexual brothers and sisters because the changes with much sacrifice. Some have lost many of the things that were dear to them. I'm sure transitioning wasn't easy, but the change was for their well being.
I lost some things from the old life; but I have gained a new perspective about gender and sexuality. I have fallen in love with people who society has scorned and ridiculed. As a gender variant person, I better understand that change helps me to grow and see life from another point of view. I know more changes will be in store. If my changing will benefit someone else's life, in the battle cry I heard during this current administration; 'Bring It On!'
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Veterans Day
Yesterday was Veterans Day. I am a veteran of the U S Army. I am also a transgender veteran. Like my straight brethren, LGBT men and women serve their country with dignity. It's sad that the military doesn't recognize that. 'Dont' Ask, Don't Tell' has forced thousands of intelligent people out of the service just because of who they are.
It's belated but I salute ALL veterans. I especially salute LGBT veterans for your service under sometimes difficult circumstances.
Genevieve
It's belated but I salute ALL veterans. I especially salute LGBT veterans for your service under sometimes difficult circumstances.
Genevieve
Friday, November 07, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Love is desiring the best for my neighbor, whether or not we see eye to eye on everything.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Obama Wins; Propositions Lose
I was riveted to the tv while I watched Barack Obama deliver his speech to an enthusiastic crowd of supporters in Chicago. My parents never had the chance to see this historic day. People want to see that they have a future in which THEY can help shape and create. Obama gives them that hope.
When I read my e-mails today I saw that the propositions in California, Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida had passed. This was a blow to gays and lesbians. It's true that Obama was opposed to gay marriage but he was against Prop 8 in California; something that was not brought out to those trying decide which way to vote. Looking ahead, I see how this could affect transgender people and their families. We catch enough hell as it is and this defeat demonstrates that there's still much work ahead.
Just as I encourage my GLB bretheren to stay the course, it behooves my transgender family to work unceasingly for the legislation that will affect us. ENDA is a start. Education is still needed in the black community and in the white community. What rattles around in my brain is did some of these people really understand what these propositions were about? Sadly, many rely on what others say about something rather than doing their own homework.
I applaud Equality California, Equality Arizona and Equality Florida for their efforts. I applaud the many volunteers who were out canvassing households to educate them. Don't feel discouraged; you no doubt have gained some allies. You have gained one in me.
When I read my e-mails today I saw that the propositions in California, Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida had passed. This was a blow to gays and lesbians. It's true that Obama was opposed to gay marriage but he was against Prop 8 in California; something that was not brought out to those trying decide which way to vote. Looking ahead, I see how this could affect transgender people and their families. We catch enough hell as it is and this defeat demonstrates that there's still much work ahead.
Just as I encourage my GLB bretheren to stay the course, it behooves my transgender family to work unceasingly for the legislation that will affect us. ENDA is a start. Education is still needed in the black community and in the white community. What rattles around in my brain is did some of these people really understand what these propositions were about? Sadly, many rely on what others say about something rather than doing their own homework.
I applaud Equality California, Equality Arizona and Equality Florida for their efforts. I applaud the many volunteers who were out canvassing households to educate them. Don't feel discouraged; you no doubt have gained some allies. You have gained one in me.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Speaking for Transgender People
I was asked by the leader of our bimonthly fellowship if I would like to teach a lesson. I said that I would. I am the only transgender person in the group so this is a welcome opportunity share what it is to be a gender variant individual. Transgender basics about the different expressions of gender and the role transgender people have played in history are a couple of topics that I have in mind. There are probably other topics that could be discussed. I'll have to think about it.
I welcome the opportunity to share what it is to be transgender and a cross dresser. I love to share my experiences in hope that others will be encouraged.
Gennee
Friday, October 31, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
By being open and honest about who you are will relieve the stress of denying your true self.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Unconditional Love
This past Tuesday at our bimonthly fellowship, I expressed to my lesbian friend how I began my transition. I related how events lead up to me coming out as a cross dresser and transgender. She shared with me that this is where God wanted me all along.
I reflected about what she said. My spouse and son accept that I love wearing women's clothing. I was in denial for about seven weeks before I embraced who I was. I felt no guilt or shame whatsoever. Two years ago, while strolling through the park, a feeling of contentment and wholeness swept over me. This night I felt it even more.
God has given me a love for a group of people who are scorned and ridiculed by society. I visit churches midday to pray and rest. They are open to the public and on occasion I sit in on a midday service. On one day in late August, I prayed for LGBT men and women. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I lifted them up to the Lord. I felt his embrace like a long lost child. He accepted me as I was. It didn't matter that I am transgender and I wear women's clothing. He loves me unconditionally. My heart's desire is share with transgender, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people that God doesn't hate us.
I relish times when I can be alone with God. I want to present a positive image of being transgender. From time to time I receive complements from total strangers. Maybe the barriers are breaking down. What's important is that I am accepted and loved by the Creator.
I reflected about what she said. My spouse and son accept that I love wearing women's clothing. I was in denial for about seven weeks before I embraced who I was. I felt no guilt or shame whatsoever. Two years ago, while strolling through the park, a feeling of contentment and wholeness swept over me. This night I felt it even more.
God has given me a love for a group of people who are scorned and ridiculed by society. I visit churches midday to pray and rest. They are open to the public and on occasion I sit in on a midday service. On one day in late August, I prayed for LGBT men and women. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I lifted them up to the Lord. I felt his embrace like a long lost child. He accepted me as I was. It didn't matter that I am transgender and I wear women's clothing. He loves me unconditionally. My heart's desire is share with transgender, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people that God doesn't hate us.
I relish times when I can be alone with God. I want to present a positive image of being transgender. From time to time I receive complements from total strangers. Maybe the barriers are breaking down. What's important is that I am accepted and loved by the Creator.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Hate Crimes
I read this article among the e-mails I received. Thought I'd pass it on
Police look into possible hate crimes
In a little more than a week, there have been two attacks on transgendered students.
Andy Jones
- email the author
The Daily Evergreen
Published: 10/23/2008
Three cases of alleged hate crimes occurred on, or around, the WSU campus during the past eight days.
On Monday, Jackson Hogan, a transgendered person, was heading to a meeting in the CUE parking lot when another man came out of the third-floor elevator. Hogan, a junior French and Spanish major, said he didn’t recognize the man, but the man recognized him from an event sponsored by the GLBTQ community. The man allegedly made a comment, which Hogan did not want to disclose, and proceeded to knock Hogan to the ground and kick him.
“He had bloody lips and swelling in the cheeks,” WSU Police Lt. Steve Hansen said. Hogan said the suspect, who fled the scene, was wearing a sweatshirt and light-colored jeans. He is blond and between 6- foot and 6-foot-2. Hansen said there are a few leads on the case.
“It’s perfectly clear that his actions were transphobic,” Hogan said.
On Saturday, another WSU student was allegedly beaten up outside Munchy’z in the early morning.
The student said he was attacked by three men wearing masks resembling those from the movie “Scream,” hooded WSU jackets and blue jeans, Pullman Police Cmdr. Chris Tennant said. The alleged victim was transported to Pullman Regional Hospital, where he was diagnosed with a collapsed lung, though the incident was not life-threatening.
“According to the officers, he was in obvious pain,” Tennant said. The case was reported at 2:36 a.m. Tennant said there are no leads in the case.
On Oct. 15, Kristopher Shultz, a transgendered person, was walking past the Scott-Coman Soccer Fields between midnight and 1 a.m., when someone allegedly shouted hate speech. Shultz, a junior women’s studies major, said when he turned around, he was punched in the face and knocked unconscious. “All I saw was a flash of gray,” Shultz said, referring to a piece of possibly a sweatshirt or shirt.
The next thing Shultz remembered, he said, was being at home at 4:30 a.m., though he doesn’t remember walking home. He has a bruise on his right side but doesn’t remember being kicked.
Shultz said he was targeted because of his sexual orientation. The previous day, Shultz was wearing a skirt, though he said he’d heard no comments about his appearance. As a transfer student, Schultz has been at WSU less than two months. He said he’d experienced discrimination at his previous school as well.
“The whole transphobic thing ... I don’t understand,” Shultz said.
GLBTA President Nikki Hahn said there was also a case of hate speech outside a residence hall Oct. 12.
Hahn said the university has been slow to respond to the alleged incidents.
“There’s a general feeling of a lack of support from the university administration and the university system in general,” she said. “On a personal level, I’m scared. There’s been nothing coming out of the university and that’s not acceptable.” She said the university should have quickly come out with a comment and awareness campaign to educate people on issues regarding the GLBTQ community.
“This is a reality on the WSU campus,” she said. “I think there’s a lot of people who don’t think there’s homophobia, heterosexism and even racism happening on the WSU campus, but we’ve had three incidents in the last week.” Campus Climate Response, a committee of about 10 WSU administrators that meets regularly, met Tuesday and Wednesday to discuss the incident, Dean of Students Lucila Loera said.
At the Tuesday meeting, the administrators and the WSU and Pullman Police shared information on the incidents, ASWSU President Brandon Scheller said. He attended the meeting. A few members of the committee also went to the GLBTA meeting that evening. President Elson S. Floyd met with Hahn, Scheller and multiple administrators Wednesday.
Scheller said Floyd and the administration responded promptly to the events.
“The tough part is that the third incident didn’t happen until Monday evening,” he said. Loera said the administration works hard to do preventive action.
“We are disturbed and saddened by the recent events,” she said. “Of course we want all our students to feel safe, secure and respected.” The CUB is planning to work with the GLBTA on creating an awareness campaign, possibly with a guest speaker, Scheller said.
He said the incidents come as a shock.
“I would never have thought this would happen on our campus and I think it shocks the overwhelming majority of campus,” Scheller said. “But the reality is it happened and we need to be aware that it still exists.”
Printable version View this in the paper Email this story
Police look into possible hate crimes
In a little more than a week, there have been two attacks on transgendered students.
Andy Jones
- email the author
The Daily Evergreen
Published: 10/23/2008
Three cases of alleged hate crimes occurred on, or around, the WSU campus during the past eight days.
On Monday, Jackson Hogan, a transgendered person, was heading to a meeting in the CUE parking lot when another man came out of the third-floor elevator. Hogan, a junior French and Spanish major, said he didn’t recognize the man, but the man recognized him from an event sponsored by the GLBTQ community. The man allegedly made a comment, which Hogan did not want to disclose, and proceeded to knock Hogan to the ground and kick him.
“He had bloody lips and swelling in the cheeks,” WSU Police Lt. Steve Hansen said. Hogan said the suspect, who fled the scene, was wearing a sweatshirt and light-colored jeans. He is blond and between 6- foot and 6-foot-2. Hansen said there are a few leads on the case.
“It’s perfectly clear that his actions were transphobic,” Hogan said.
On Saturday, another WSU student was allegedly beaten up outside Munchy’z in the early morning.
The student said he was attacked by three men wearing masks resembling those from the movie “Scream,” hooded WSU jackets and blue jeans, Pullman Police Cmdr. Chris Tennant said. The alleged victim was transported to Pullman Regional Hospital, where he was diagnosed with a collapsed lung, though the incident was not life-threatening.
“According to the officers, he was in obvious pain,” Tennant said. The case was reported at 2:36 a.m. Tennant said there are no leads in the case.
On Oct. 15, Kristopher Shultz, a transgendered person, was walking past the Scott-Coman Soccer Fields between midnight and 1 a.m., when someone allegedly shouted hate speech. Shultz, a junior women’s studies major, said when he turned around, he was punched in the face and knocked unconscious. “All I saw was a flash of gray,” Shultz said, referring to a piece of possibly a sweatshirt or shirt.
The next thing Shultz remembered, he said, was being at home at 4:30 a.m., though he doesn’t remember walking home. He has a bruise on his right side but doesn’t remember being kicked.
Shultz said he was targeted because of his sexual orientation. The previous day, Shultz was wearing a skirt, though he said he’d heard no comments about his appearance. As a transfer student, Schultz has been at WSU less than two months. He said he’d experienced discrimination at his previous school as well.
“The whole transphobic thing ... I don’t understand,” Shultz said.
GLBTA President Nikki Hahn said there was also a case of hate speech outside a residence hall Oct. 12.
Hahn said the university has been slow to respond to the alleged incidents.
“There’s a general feeling of a lack of support from the university administration and the university system in general,” she said. “On a personal level, I’m scared. There’s been nothing coming out of the university and that’s not acceptable.” She said the university should have quickly come out with a comment and awareness campaign to educate people on issues regarding the GLBTQ community.
“This is a reality on the WSU campus,” she said. “I think there’s a lot of people who don’t think there’s homophobia, heterosexism and even racism happening on the WSU campus, but we’ve had three incidents in the last week.” Campus Climate Response, a committee of about 10 WSU administrators that meets regularly, met Tuesday and Wednesday to discuss the incident, Dean of Students Lucila Loera said.
At the Tuesday meeting, the administrators and the WSU and Pullman Police shared information on the incidents, ASWSU President Brandon Scheller said. He attended the meeting. A few members of the committee also went to the GLBTA meeting that evening. President Elson S. Floyd met with Hahn, Scheller and multiple administrators Wednesday.
Scheller said Floyd and the administration responded promptly to the events.
“The tough part is that the third incident didn’t happen until Monday evening,” he said. Loera said the administration works hard to do preventive action.
“We are disturbed and saddened by the recent events,” she said. “Of course we want all our students to feel safe, secure and respected.” The CUB is planning to work with the GLBTA on creating an awareness campaign, possibly with a guest speaker, Scheller said.
He said the incidents come as a shock.
“I would never have thought this would happen on our campus and I think it shocks the overwhelming majority of campus,” Scheller said. “But the reality is it happened and we need to be aware that it still exists.”
Printable version View this in the paper Email this story
Still Exploring and Growing
I looked up the definition of explore in Webster's dictionary. It means to range over (area) for the purpose of discovery. Another meaning is to look into closely: investigate or examine. I like the second definition better because gender is something that I looked into closely.
Explorers are people who will look into something that is new. They will discover new ideas, lands, or concepts. If it were not their willingness to take risks, this country would be far different than it is at the present time. I think if people were allowed to freely explore gender, many of the misconceptions about it would come into focus. Young people are coming out at early ages about gender/sexuality. It's a great thing because now the greater society has to examine and investigate gender and sexuality closely. It cannot be pushed to the fringes any longer, no matter how hard they try.
When I discovered my own trangenderism, I could have pushed it to the fringes of my mind or investigate more closely. Fortunately I chose the latter, and I'm thankful I did. Too many parents shield their children from any kind of struggle or risk. Struggle is good because it strengthens resolve and stretches the mind. Life is not static and neither is gender expression. I have embraced the feminine side of me with gratitude. As a young boy I was always curious about many things. It was put aside in my mid twenties and resumed again a few years ago in my fifties. Now I feel complete and liberated.
I'm still exploring gender, having discovered many more parts of my being. People should be allowed to explore who they are and where they fit in. Life is too short and I don't wanted to be limited by so-called binary systems or even my own doubts. There's still many roads to cross and tred.
Genevieve
Explorers are people who will look into something that is new. They will discover new ideas, lands, or concepts. If it were not their willingness to take risks, this country would be far different than it is at the present time. I think if people were allowed to freely explore gender, many of the misconceptions about it would come into focus. Young people are coming out at early ages about gender/sexuality. It's a great thing because now the greater society has to examine and investigate gender and sexuality closely. It cannot be pushed to the fringes any longer, no matter how hard they try.
When I discovered my own trangenderism, I could have pushed it to the fringes of my mind or investigate more closely. Fortunately I chose the latter, and I'm thankful I did. Too many parents shield their children from any kind of struggle or risk. Struggle is good because it strengthens resolve and stretches the mind. Life is not static and neither is gender expression. I have embraced the feminine side of me with gratitude. As a young boy I was always curious about many things. It was put aside in my mid twenties and resumed again a few years ago in my fifties. Now I feel complete and liberated.
I'm still exploring gender, having discovered many more parts of my being. People should be allowed to explore who they are and where they fit in. Life is too short and I don't wanted to be limited by so-called binary systems or even my own doubts. There's still many roads to cross and tred.
Genevieve
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Georgina Beyer
Here is a website talking about her.
http://www.glbthistorymonth.com/glbthistorymonth/2008/icon.cfm?id=20
http://www.glbthistorymonth.com/glbthistorymonth/2008/icon.cfm?id=20
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Education Is Not Static
I'm always seeking ways to improve myself. I need to be challenged, to be stretched, to move out of my comfort zone. I have started a business and am working on my master's degree. I am also seeking ways to improve the lot of my transgender brothers and sisters. Each day I hear of some great news or some tragic loss. There are triumphs, losses, and struggles. Much of what I learn is not in the classroom or the internet. It is just being open to life as it happens.
I reflect on my life and see how blessed I am. I see what others may not see. I long to touch someone's life in a meaningful way. Many of the lessons taught to me in years past have become more genuine to me. I long to be genuine, loving, and an encourager. There's always something to learn. I never want to close my heart and mind. If my suffering pain will benefit someone else, then my life will have counted for something.
Genevieve
I reflect on my life and see how blessed I am. I see what others may not see. I long to touch someone's life in a meaningful way. Many of the lessons taught to me in years past have become more genuine to me. I long to be genuine, loving, and an encourager. There's always something to learn. I never want to close my heart and mind. If my suffering pain will benefit someone else, then my life will have counted for something.
Genevieve
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
ARTICLE
I read this article today. I thought I would pass it on and get some feedback.
http://awashingtond ccatholic. blogspot. com/2008/ 10/montgomery- county-voters. html
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Just because someone says something doen't exist doesn't mean that it doesn't.
Genevieve
http://awashingtond ccatholic. blogspot. com/2008/ 10/montgomery- county-voters. html
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Just because someone says something doen't exist doesn't mean that it doesn't.
Genevieve
Friday, October 03, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
From the equality of rights springs identity of our highest interests;
you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking a dangerous
blow at your own.
-Carl Schurz, German Revolutionary (1829-1906)
you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking a dangerous
blow at your own.
-Carl Schurz, German Revolutionary (1829-1906)
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Ever Changing Experience
Transgender is an ever changing experience. I have crossed many roads, each one different from the one I crossed the last time. In all the traveling, I have noticed a yearning for spirituality and how it relates to being transgender. I am a born again Christian but I believe that God is moving me in a new direction.
I have been stopping at churches during the day. I stop to rest and to pray for many needs. The LGBT community is near and dear to me, especially the transgender community. I have felt so secure and at peace because God accepts me as I am. I have been dressed during these visits. Perhaps, I am honoring him by doing so.
I go out in public because there are those who for various reasons cannot. During these communes with God, it is impressed that he is looking at my heart and not what I have on. I am reminded that we don't have to doing anything in order to come to Him. I am appalled when I hear about LGBT people having to 'get right' before they can come to church. This is NOT the way Jesus did it. He met people where they were.
I believe that God made me this way I am for a purpose. Maybe the world doesn't understand but then God's ways are not man's ways (Isa.55:8,9). God uses and blesses people regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status, sexuality, culture, etc. This is my heart's prayer for every person. I want Him to change me. I want other transgender people to see the Jesus that lives in me. I want everyone to know that thye are loved by God- and by me.
Genevieve
I have been stopping at churches during the day. I stop to rest and to pray for many needs. The LGBT community is near and dear to me, especially the transgender community. I have felt so secure and at peace because God accepts me as I am. I have been dressed during these visits. Perhaps, I am honoring him by doing so.
I go out in public because there are those who for various reasons cannot. During these communes with God, it is impressed that he is looking at my heart and not what I have on. I am reminded that we don't have to doing anything in order to come to Him. I am appalled when I hear about LGBT people having to 'get right' before they can come to church. This is NOT the way Jesus did it. He met people where they were.
I believe that God made me this way I am for a purpose. Maybe the world doesn't understand but then God's ways are not man's ways (Isa.55:8,9). God uses and blesses people regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status, sexuality, culture, etc. This is my heart's prayer for every person. I want Him to change me. I want other transgender people to see the Jesus that lives in me. I want everyone to know that thye are loved by God- and by me.
Genevieve
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Journey into the woods
When I was a boy I loved to venture out into the woods near my home. My mom would tell me not to go in the woods but I usually did. Like any boy, I was curious as to what was in the thick shrubbbery and tree lined paths? Were there rabbits, frogs, or chipmunks? Were there more trees and bushes? What was more curious to me is where would the path I was on take me?
In my journey as a transgender person, that same curiosity compels me to continue forward. I ask myself if this journey will ever end? A more important question is will what I discover stop me from moving forward or cause to turn back? There are some decisions one makes that the consequences cannot be undone. I'm sure there are many folks who decided to transition has asked themselves this question. The day I decided that I was going to live life openly, I knew that there would be ridicule, comments, and comtempt on some people's part.
When you choose to live differently, it does open a can of worms. It's my life and no one else can live it for me. Creative living will stir up jealousy from some people but isn't being happy with ourselves part of living? In my opinion, transgender folks are often targeted because we choose to express who we are publicly. Is it easy? Not always? Are there risks? Definitely. Is being true to ourselves worth taking those risks? A resounding YES!
As a born again Christian I asked myself if my being transgender would affect my relationship with God? The answer He gave me was that he loved me as I was. He knew that I was transgender long before I was born. I think about the two greatest commandments Jesus gave: to love God with all my heart and to love my neighbor. My neighbor may hate my guts, may want to harm me but I am still to love him and to pray for him. Jesus loved the people who nailed him to the cross. I have no doubt that some became Christians because of His witness.
As my journey continues, I'm still that curious little boy who wonders where the road will lead. I don't know what I may find but I pray that I never turn back. I'll my walking stick and just keep moving forward.
Friday, September 19, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
The further I travel along this road, the more I feel the heartaches of others less fortunate.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Transgender children
It's rare that I post websites here but after reading this article, I thought that I may be a good read.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/17/NSQR125MBC.DTL
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/09/17/NSQR125MBC.DTL
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
LIVING OPENLY
Ever since I have declared myself a transgender woman, my life has become an open book. It's not that it wasn't before, its that now I am out in public much more. I don't feel that being out is not necessarily the number of people that you tell. It's that I have chosen to live my life openly and without reservation. I'm not naive to believe that I can do this all the time but I can do it as much as is allowable.
I'm thankful for an understanding spouse and son. I'm thankful that I am walking around in my neighborhood and haven't had an incident. Mostly, I am being myself. My declaration has opened up opportunities for me to speak out whether in print, on the internet, or in person. When first began crossdressing, I enjoyed the thrill of wearing skirts, panties, and bras. However, in the back of my mind was the thought that this will take me on roads that I have never traveled. This has certainly been the case. I never saw myself being an activist but I cannot stand idly by and watch transgender and gender variant people be discriminated against.
Summer saw me be bold and out among the public. I have been following transgender issues all over the country. I am involved in some things and long to get more involved. I want to demonstrate to people that transgender are loving, productive people who care about life. Looking ahead, I see that things will be accelerated and I cannot wait.
Genevieve
I'm thankful for an understanding spouse and son. I'm thankful that I am walking around in my neighborhood and haven't had an incident. Mostly, I am being myself. My declaration has opened up opportunities for me to speak out whether in print, on the internet, or in person. When first began crossdressing, I enjoyed the thrill of wearing skirts, panties, and bras. However, in the back of my mind was the thought that this will take me on roads that I have never traveled. This has certainly been the case. I never saw myself being an activist but I cannot stand idly by and watch transgender and gender variant people be discriminated against.
Summer saw me be bold and out among the public. I have been following transgender issues all over the country. I am involved in some things and long to get more involved. I want to demonstrate to people that transgender are loving, productive people who care about life. Looking ahead, I see that things will be accelerated and I cannot wait.
Genevieve
Friday, September 05, 2008
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
I would rather help some struggling soul than to receive all the honors the world
bestows upon me.
bestows upon me.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
A Promising Autumn
The summer is nearly over but the autumn looks even more promising. Putting into action the things that I profess will be the main agenda. I have been out in public much more and I plan on staying out. The colors of the foliage will change soon but I desire to be a blossom during the now and during the long cold months of winter.
I will be attending Soulforce's Seven Straight Nights events. I want to be out bringing the needs of GLBT people to the public. It is taking place in various cities across the country. I promised my spouse that I would take her to a reading/poetry session. I have one scheduled for the fourth week of this month. It is something that I will do every month, if possible.
Being out in public was one goal that I set at the beginning of the year. I have more than met it. I'm not out looking for attention. I'm just being myself. I have received compliments from a few folks mostly women. I have been out in my neighborhood quite a bit without incident. I never felt thought that this would be so enriching but it has. I'm enjoying every moment.
I have visited a few places that reminded me of my childhood and young manhood. I visited some old Catholic churches. I'm surprised that I still remember some of the tenets of the Catholic faith. I just stopped there to rest and pray. I have trolled through the East Village where social and radical activities were quite vibrant 40 years ago. I also feel home here because it is a feisty neighborhood withstanding the tenticles of gentrification.
I find it amazing that I wasn't active politically in '60s and '70s but I am now. It is a mater of choice that I am an activist. A quiet unassuming crossdresser is now involved in the battle for equality for GLBT people. I have always considered myself an outsider and I feel very comfortable doing what's not expected.
Genevieve
I will be attending Soulforce's Seven Straight Nights events. I want to be out bringing the needs of GLBT people to the public. It is taking place in various cities across the country. I promised my spouse that I would take her to a reading/poetry session. I have one scheduled for the fourth week of this month. It is something that I will do every month, if possible.
Being out in public was one goal that I set at the beginning of the year. I have more than met it. I'm not out looking for attention. I'm just being myself. I have received compliments from a few folks mostly women. I have been out in my neighborhood quite a bit without incident. I never felt thought that this would be so enriching but it has. I'm enjoying every moment.
I have visited a few places that reminded me of my childhood and young manhood. I visited some old Catholic churches. I'm surprised that I still remember some of the tenets of the Catholic faith. I just stopped there to rest and pray. I have trolled through the East Village where social and radical activities were quite vibrant 40 years ago. I also feel home here because it is a feisty neighborhood withstanding the tenticles of gentrification.
I find it amazing that I wasn't active politically in '60s and '70s but I am now. It is a mater of choice that I am an activist. A quiet unassuming crossdresser is now involved in the battle for equality for GLBT people. I have always considered myself an outsider and I feel very comfortable doing what's not expected.
Genevieve
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