Friday, October 31, 2008


By being open and honest about who you are will relieve the stress of denying your true self.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Unconditional Love

This past Tuesday at our bimonthly fellowship, I expressed to my lesbian friend how I began my transition. I related how events lead up to me coming out as a cross dresser and transgender. She shared with me that this is where God wanted me all along.

I reflected about what she said. My spouse and son accept that I love wearing women's clothing. I was in denial for about seven weeks before I embraced who I was. I felt no guilt or shame whatsoever. Two years ago, while strolling through the park, a feeling of contentment and wholeness swept over me. This night I felt it even more.

God has given me a love for a group of people who are scorned and ridiculed by society. I visit churches midday to pray and rest. They are open to the public and on occasion I sit in on a midday service. On one day in late August, I prayed for LGBT men and women. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I lifted them up to the Lord. I felt his embrace like a long lost child. He accepted me as I was. It didn't matter that I am transgender and I wear women's clothing. He loves me unconditionally. My heart's desire is share with transgender, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people that God doesn't hate us.

I relish times when I can be alone with God. I want to present a positive image of being transgender. From time to time I receive complements from total strangers. Maybe the barriers are breaking down. What's important is that I am accepted and loved by the Creator.

Friday, October 24, 2008


Contented people know who they are-and are comfortable in their own skin.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Hate Crimes

I read this article among the e-mails I received. Thought I'd pass it on

Police look into possible hate crimes
In a little more than a week, there have been two attacks on transgendered students.
Andy Jones
- email the author
The Daily Evergreen
Published: 10/23/2008
Three cases of alleged hate crimes occurred on, or around, the WSU campus during the past eight days.
On Monday, Jackson Hogan, a transgendered person, was heading to a meeting in the CUE parking lot when another man came out of the third-floor elevator. Hogan, a junior French and Spanish major, said he didn’t recognize the man, but the man recognized him from an event sponsored by the GLBTQ community. The man allegedly made a comment, which Hogan did not want to disclose, and proceeded to knock Hogan to the ground and kick him.
“He had bloody lips and swelling in the cheeks,” WSU Police Lt. Steve Hansen said. Hogan said the suspect, who fled the scene, was wearing a sweatshirt and light-colored jeans. He is blond and between 6- foot and 6-foot-2. Hansen said there are a few leads on the case.
“It’s perfectly clear that his actions were transphobic,” Hogan said.
On Saturday, another WSU student was allegedly beaten up outside Munchy’z in the early morning.
The student said he was attacked by three men wearing masks resembling those from the movie “Scream,” hooded WSU jackets and blue jeans, Pullman Police Cmdr. Chris Tennant said. The alleged victim was transported to Pullman Regional Hospital, where he was diagnosed with a collapsed lung, though the incident was not life-threatening.
“According to the officers, he was in obvious pain,” Tennant said. The case was reported at 2:36 a.m. Tennant said there are no leads in the case.
On Oct. 15, Kristopher Shultz, a transgendered person, was walking past the Scott-Coman Soccer Fields between midnight and 1 a.m., when someone allegedly shouted hate speech. Shultz, a junior women’s studies major, said when he turned around, he was punched in the face and knocked unconscious. “All I saw was a flash of gray,” Shultz said, referring to a piece of possibly a sweatshirt or shirt.
The next thing Shultz remembered, he said, was being at home at 4:30 a.m., though he doesn’t remember walking home. He has a bruise on his right side but doesn’t remember being kicked.
Shultz said he was targeted because of his sexual orientation. The previous day, Shultz was wearing a skirt, though he said he’d heard no comments about his appearance. As a transfer student, Schultz has been at WSU less than two months. He said he’d experienced discrimination at his previous school as well.
“The whole transphobic thing ... I don’t understand,” Shultz said.
GLBTA President Nikki Hahn said there was also a case of hate speech outside a residence hall Oct. 12.
Hahn said the university has been slow to respond to the alleged incidents.
“There’s a general feeling of a lack of support from the university administration and the university system in general,” she said. “On a personal level, I’m scared. There’s been nothing coming out of the university and that’s not acceptable.” She said the university should have quickly come out with a comment and awareness campaign to educate people on issues regarding the GLBTQ community.
“This is a reality on the WSU campus,” she said. “I think there’s a lot of people who don’t think there’s homophobia, heterosexism and even racism happening on the WSU campus, but we’ve had three incidents in the last week.” Campus Climate Response, a committee of about 10 WSU administrators that meets regularly, met Tuesday and Wednesday to discuss the incident, Dean of Students Lucila Loera said.
At the Tuesday meeting, the administrators and the WSU and Pullman Police shared information on the incidents, ASWSU President Brandon Scheller said. He attended the meeting. A few members of the committee also went to the GLBTA meeting that evening. President Elson S. Floyd met with Hahn, Scheller and multiple administrators Wednesday.
Scheller said Floyd and the administration responded promptly to the events.
“The tough part is that the third incident didn’t happen until Monday evening,” he said. Loera said the administration works hard to do preventive action.
“We are disturbed and saddened by the recent events,” she said. “Of course we want all our students to feel safe, secure and respected.” The CUB is planning to work with the GLBTA on creating an awareness campaign, possibly with a guest speaker, Scheller said.
He said the incidents come as a shock.
“I would never have thought this would happen on our campus and I think it shocks the overwhelming majority of campus,” Scheller said. “But the reality is it happened and we need to be aware that it still exists.”

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Still Exploring and Growing

I looked up the definition of explore in Webster's dictionary. It means to range over (area) for the purpose of discovery. Another meaning is to look into closely: investigate or examine. I like the second definition better because gender is something that I looked into closely.

Explorers are people who will look into something that is new. They will discover new ideas, lands, or concepts. If it were not their willingness to take risks, this country would be far different than it is at the present time. I think if people were allowed to freely explore gender, many of the misconceptions about it would come into focus. Young people are coming out at early ages about gender/sexuality. It's a great thing because now the greater society has to examine and investigate gender and sexuality closely. It cannot be pushed to the fringes any longer, no matter how hard they try.

When I discovered my own trangenderism, I could have pushed it to the fringes of my mind or investigate more closely. Fortunately I chose the latter, and I'm thankful I did. Too many parents shield their children from any kind of struggle or risk. Struggle is good because it strengthens resolve and stretches the mind. Life is not static and neither is gender expression. I have embraced the feminine side of me with gratitude. As a young boy I was always curious about many things. It was put aside in my mid twenties and resumed again a few years ago in my fifties. Now I feel complete and liberated.

I'm still exploring gender, having discovered many more parts of my being. People should be allowed to explore who they are and where they fit in. Life is too short and I don't wanted to be limited by so-called binary systems or even my own doubts. There's still many roads to cross and tred.


Friday, October 17, 2008


Whatever we learn in our lives never goes for naught.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Education Is Not Static

I'm always seeking ways to improve myself. I need to be challenged, to be stretched, to move out of my comfort zone. I have started a business and am working on my master's degree. I am also seeking ways to improve the lot of my transgender brothers and sisters. Each day I hear of some great news or some tragic loss. There are triumphs, losses, and struggles. Much of what I learn is not in the classroom or the internet. It is just being open to life as it happens.

I reflect on my life and see how blessed I am. I see what others may not see. I long to touch someone's life in a meaningful way. Many of the lessons taught to me in years past have become more genuine to me. I long to be genuine, loving, and an encourager. There's always something to learn. I never want to close my heart and mind. If my suffering pain will benefit someone else, then my life will have counted for something.


Friday, October 10, 2008



Tuesday, October 07, 2008


I read this article today. I thought I would pass it on and get some feedback.

http://awashingtond ccatholic. blogspot. com/2008/ 10/montgomery- county-voters. html

Just because someone says something doen't exist doesn't mean that it doesn't.


Friday, October 03, 2008


From the equality of rights springs identity of our highest interests;
you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking a dangerous
blow at your own.

-Carl Schurz, German Revolutionary (1829-1906)

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Ever Changing Experience

Transgender is an ever changing experience. I have crossed many roads, each one different from the one I crossed the last time. In all the traveling, I have noticed a yearning for spirituality and how it relates to being transgender. I am a born again Christian but I believe that God is moving me in a new direction.

I have been stopping at churches during the day. I stop to rest and to pray for many needs. The LGBT community is near and dear to me, especially the transgender community. I have felt so secure and at peace because God accepts me as I am. I have been dressed during these visits. Perhaps, I am honoring him by doing so.

I go out in public because there are those who for various reasons cannot. During these communes with God, it is impressed that he is looking at my heart and not what I have on. I am reminded that we don't have to doing anything in order to come to Him. I am appalled when I hear about LGBT people having to 'get right' before they can come to church. This is NOT the way Jesus did it. He met people where they were.

I believe that God made me this way I am for a purpose. Maybe the world doesn't understand but then God's ways are not man's ways (Isa.55:8,9). God uses and blesses people regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic status, sexuality, culture, etc. This is my heart's prayer for every person. I want Him to change me. I want other transgender people to see the Jesus that lives in me. I want everyone to know that thye are loved by God- and by me.