Friday, May 27, 2011


I can take being ridiculed and laughed at. People who put down
others show their own insecurities.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Marriage Equality Led To Latest Dicussion

Last night my wife and I discussed my gender again. It was the most in depth conversation we've had about this. It started with a letter that I received from Empire State Pride Agenda needing donations for the fight for marriage equality and transgender anti-discrimination laws.

We talked about gay marriage, adoption, and other topics related to LGBT people. My spouse asked me about my own gender feelings. I shared with her about the gender shift closer to femininity I had last month. I shared that am a woman though I have a male body. For two hours I shared my thoughts and changes that have occurred in my life. I pointed out that I'm still the same person.

Afterwards, she said that she had a clearer idea about my being transgender. I welcome it when she does ask questions because I'm always open to these discussions. I believe that we will have a couple more discussions very soon.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Gender Questioning Begins

About these time six years I was confronted with what would be a life changing event. I wanted to try on my wife clothing. I had never had any thoughts of doing such a thing. I personally thought it was wrong. At the time I didn't believe that men should be wearing women's clothing.

I wondered if I was weird or something. Many feelings of my own gender identity came up. I never questioned that I was male. It was a constant battle to squelch the thought, to no avail. Finally, I reasoned that if I just tried on a skirt the urge would go away. After a few more torturous days, I relented. I tried on my wife's skirt, then a blouse, a bra, and a dress. This event would set in motion the wheel that would change my life forever.

to be continued.......


Sunday, May 22, 2011

LGBT Legacy

Yesterday I browsed through the book at the library at the community center. There were thousands of books by and about LGBT folks. There was fiction, non-fiction, poetry, biographies, and anthologies just to start.

What caught my attention is the numerous contributions that LGBT people have made throughout history. We are making history now. Society on the other hands confines us to the fringes. Our emenies want to erase our existence.

I'm especially happy that transgender people are active in literature and I pray that more books by us will be written and published. I have written many poems about being transgender and I will be publishing a chapbook sometime this year.

Our legacy must not be erased! As a person of color this is most important because, sadly, even in the trans community, our accomplishments and desires are minimized. The more that I live openly as transgender the more important it is to be visible. Being stealth is not an option for me personally.

I want to be a part of the legacy that made a positive contribution to equality and to our history.


Friday, May 20, 2011

Beliefs Systems

One area that I am fascinated in is what people believe. I like to know not only what a person believes but why they believe. It's a rea that is sometime overlooked or maybe not challenged. I am working on a study about belief systems. I will post here the thoughts and results of my findings.



Belief systems are not finite. Change is a necessary process in our growth.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011


Over the past several days, I have thought about how far I've come in my journey. I gone a lot further than I ever thought I could. Just think, that six years ago it all started.

I'm a firm believer in that we are put in places for a reason. I ask myself why was my real gender hidden form me for so many years? There are many answers that I surmise but I am where I am where I am now.

From time to time between now and the end of July, I will be reminiscing my transition and how it has impact my life and those around me.


Friday, May 13, 2011




Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Active Both Personally and in the Community

I have been very busy getting my security and fire guard licenses. I have found a nice aprtment also. Things are looking up after a year of struggle.

I have been keeping up with transgender issues and there's much happening. A vote about birth certificates in Texas is coming up for vote. In Connecticut, HB 6599 is coming up for a vote also.

Being involved with the transgender community is near and dear to my heart. I will attending support group meetings because I want to meet more transgender people. It may be that my recent shift in my gender identity has given me impetous to reach out to others.


Friday, May 06, 2011


Being true to one self allows you to grow as a person.

Sunday, May 01, 2011

A Shift in Identity

This past week I experienced a shift in my gender journey. I feel closer to my feminine identity than ever before. I've been out dressed three times this week. It's also the first time I felt some discontent being male. That's never happened to me before. I believe that my wife senses it as I mentioned in my last posting.

Yesterday after leaving the library I went to Goodwill and purchased a pink floral maxi skirt. My desire to live full time has increased. I'm not rushing into anything but I sense that my journey is taking another twist.