Friday, October 30, 2009


Whenever the Creator gives you a burden, the Creator also gives you a blessing, a way to carry the burden.

~ old Lakota saying

Gender as Sacred

I'm reading article in Transgender Tapestry magazine titled Native-American Spirituality: Understanding Gender as Sacred. Doctor Kenneth Dollarhide of Kean University states that the idea of writing this paper came out of reading books, articles, lectures and talks. Transgender and non transgender people were part of the information.

Having Native-American blood in my ancestry, I took an interest in this article. The European-American view and the Native-American view of gender and sex is quite different. The former is rigid and scientific while the latter is diverse and fluid. Being trans, I know this to be true. There are days that I experience so many expressions.

Before the influence of European culture, third and fourth sexes were generally accepted as a norm. Two-spirit people (as it is called today) were looked upon as people with special gifts. I see being transgender as a gift because it is a natural part of my being. I never chose it, it was in-born.

I am still reading and studying the article. Another installment will be in the next issue of Transgender Tapestry. In the next few posts I will discuss what conclusions I come away with. I will be investigating two spirit in my tribe (Choctaw). From what I see, my Native-American ancestors view of gender and sex is more in line with the Creator.


Article: Dollarhide, Kenneth Native American Spirituality: Understanding Gender As Sacred. Transgender Tapestry, Issue #115, pp. 33-36.

Friday, October 23, 2009


By being out in public, I believe that people are being educated.

My Testimony

All my life I felt that I was different. I never knew why I felt that way but I did. I was brought in a secure loving home so I always felt accepted and loved.

Growing up I did typical male things. I played sports, hang out with my buddies, and talked about girls. Though I did have a few close friends, there was always that feeling of disconnect. I didn't feel that I belong. As my life moved forward the feelings of difference never troubled me that much because there was plenty of things that kept me busy. I graduated from junior college and served in the army. I became a Christian while in the service. It was the best decision I ever made.I married in 1980, became involved with church activities, and lived life as your typical married man.

When the 21st century came, my gender issues became more intense and confusing. I wouId get angry but didn't know why I did. I still didn't tie my dissatisfaction with my gender. I always envisioned myself as performing some great achievement.

In 2005, I began to crossdress. When I admitted that I was a crossdresser, I discovered that I was also transgender. I chose to embrace who I was now was. All the inner turmoil dissipated. I felt completed and liberated.Two important things happened to me. The first is God confirmed to me that he loved and accepted me as a transgender person. The second was that my family accepted that I was transgender.

While I enjoyed my new identity, I felt that being transgender ran much deeper than clothing. I met other transgender people I read and studied about transgender issues. I began to see the spiritual needs of the transgender community. I know of three lesbians who were dismissed by their church because of their sexual orientation. Many believe that God hates him. This disturbs me greatly because church is the one place that a world weary soul should be able to find rest.

I see myself as a transgender woman. God loves me as He always has. What He has done is introduced me to a family I never knew I had. Praise Him.


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Shared Testimony on Two Websites

I posted my testimony on two sites that I'm a member of. I have the chance to educate more people about transgender people. One other opportunity presented to me fell through. Seems like opportunities to share are coming up here and there. This is one of the ways I believe that I can contribute to transgender people getting equal rights.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Two Bills Affecting Transgender People Vetoed

Deeming them as 'unnecessary', CA. Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger saw fit to veto two that affect transgender people. I was appalled by this because transgender people are much more likely to be victimized in prisons. I find it striking that while California transgender people cannot change their documents to reflect their new identity, Brazil just made it easier for transgender people can change their documents. Go figure.


Friday, October 16, 2009


There's no shame in being who you are and living the way you were meant to.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

More Attacks

Attacks against LGBT people have become more frequent. Last month, two transgender women were attacked in Queens. A gay man lies in a coma, the result of being kicked and beaten by two men. They have been apprehended.

Though I am concerned I am not afraid. As our issues are more into the public arena it's no surprise that there will be those who don't want us to have equality. All over the country and the world LGBT people have been active and working to secure our rights. It is so important that we remain vigilent. In the last post I mentioned two opportunities presented to me. I believe what ever we can do will help in our struggle.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Two Great Opportunities

I have been presented with two opportunities to share about my transgender experience. One of the parties is going to call me tomorrow about a possible interview and story. There's a few details to be worked out. The other opportunity is to share my story on their website. I really look forward to these opportunities.


Monday, October 12, 2009

Back In Business

I am waiting for some reports about the march in Washington. I know at least one person who did go. I am considering doing an interview and story about being a transgender veteran. The drawback is that I may have to use my male name. Couple that with the fact that I'm out to only a few people. I will need to give the people my decision by Wednesday.

There is a lot happening i the transgender community. I was reading where in Ohio it is easier to change sex on licenses. There's been so much going on that I have to catch up on many things. My computer was out for ten days and I just got it back up on Saturday.

I am also considering studying for my master's degree. At first I was deciding between adult and childhood education. Now gender studies and creative writing have been thrown into the mix. It's a huge choice I have to make.


Friday, October 09, 2009


Always have a positive attitude.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

More Than Gender and Sexuality

I have been editing my testimony of coming out. It's amazing how many events took place before, during and after coming out. The depth of the changes in my life is truly amazing. It hasn't been stressful by any stretch. In fact, I enjoy sharing it with in hopes that it will encourage someone.

Many changes are happening in our community all across the world. I want to be a part of the change. As I get older I have become involved with many causes and issues. Looking back I think my getting involved in something goes back to 1975 when I volunteered to usher at my local church. It was nice to be fed from the preaching but I wanted to put my energy and compassion into action.

Coming out is not only about gender and sexuality. To me, it's involving myself in someone else life or a cause for the betterment of others. I'm sure many of you have discovered talents and abilities you may not have known you possessed. I remember when I joined a grassroots organization, one of the tasks was calling volunteers on the phone. Normally I would have freaked out at such a prospect. When I proceded to make the calls I felt a connection with the people I spoke with. Many expressed heart felt appreciation that I called them back.

My point is don't sell yourself short. There's always someone who could use an encouraging word. How many of you came out of your shells when you touched someone else's life? Coming out does take courage, risk, and resolve that you can make a difference.


Friday, October 02, 2009


Everything that we have gone through in our lives has prepared us for the very moment that we are in right now.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Busy, Busy

I have been busy with personal business and my computer went kaput. I'm posting this from a computer in the library. Hope to have my computer soon.

I wrote my testimony of my coming out. I'm reading it and rereading it. I may post it here. It's amazing that it's been over four years since that wonderful July day. Have also written some prose. It's not my strength but I do enjoy writing it.

I have been reading responses of those who oppose ENDA and same-sex mariage. I long believe that if someone can present compelling and solid information as to why these laws shouldn't be passed, I wish that they would do so without any preconceived notions. Unfortunately, that is not the case. There is NO reason that a group of people should be second class citizens-just because of who they are. It has become more personal to me because of the affects I've seen on people. Am I am tired of people using the bible and religion to justify their prejudices. This is something that I'm refuting right now.