Friday, December 30, 2011

End OF Year Salutatons

Another year has come and gone. What has happened cannot be changed. We can only move forward. Let us be thankful for the good things that have happened in our lives. Let us learn from our trials and struggles and seek solutions.

2011 was a good year for me. I found a nice place to live. I started writing poetry in earnest and now read at open mics throughout the city. Above all, I'm able to reflect on my life and concluded that I'm blessed.


Friday, December 23, 2011

Seasons Greettings



A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.

~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841-1935)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Light In The Sea of Darkness

I am a big fan of lighthouses. The one pictured above is about a mile from my home. It is the only remaining lighthouse in New York City. It was commissioned in 1921 along the Hudson River. When the George Washington Bridge was completed in 1931, the Little Red Lighthouse was decommissioned the following year. Today it is a landmark.
I'm sure that the light that beamed out on a dark, foggy night saved many a ship from a watery grave. Our lives as transgender people can be turbulent and troublesome at times. Confusion by others about us causes them to lash out at us without ever tring to know what we are about. Our own fears can hold us captive, which can result in self-loathing and ideation about suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, and numoerous other vices.
Then one day some thing or someone crosses out path which can steer us in the right direction. Like the light beam over a dark ocean, each event can help us see that we are not alone. We need not feel ashamed or guilty over who we are or how others perceive us.
The reason I wrote this post is that there may be somone who believes that they are alone and that no one understands. There ARE many of us who know what you are going through. Many of us have been there. During this holiday season just remember that there are people who do understand and care.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Contentment consist not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire.

~Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)


This time of year is a lonely time for many people. Suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, and despair are high during this time of year. In the LGBTQI community this is doubly so. Many are estranged from family and community because of who they are.

I have been quite a bit of my mom this year. She passed in 2001 but the lessons she thought me remind me that hospitality and kindness are in great demand. She would invite someone she knew would be alone over to her home. Mom would relate to me that the individual was grateful and appreciative that someone thought of them.

Hospitality is a virtue that is sometimes lacking in today’s society. We can become so wrapped up in ourselves that we neglect folks who need companionship. For the past decade and a half, I have used this season as a time of reflection. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I receive a gift. Being alive is a gift.

Let’s remember the neighbor who is lonely. Let’s give a gift to a child who may not have anything for Christmas. Visit someone in the hospital or hospice. It can make a difference in having a Merry Christmas or another empty day.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Shifting Again

I have been dressing up quite a bit the past couple of weeks. I desire to dress up more now. My spouse has noticed and she is somewhat bothered by it. She wrote a poem about my desire to be a woman rather than a man. I understand how she feels. She fears that she is losing the male person that she married. I tell her that I’m the same person.

I’m not really surprised by her response because I thought that this day would come. Things were quiet for a while. I sense that another shift is coming. I guess the holiday season may have triggered it because there have been more opportunities to dress. Just the other day I saw a transgender woman as I was crossing the street. I have been out dressed sparingly in my new digs but that will change as of now.

Another area of my life that I have considered is a permanent name change. This still a long way off but it sure seems closer than I imagined. There’s an organization that specializes in the area so I’ll need to look into this.

My brother wants me to spend a weekend at his home upstate. I’ve never told him about my being transgender. I honestly have no desire to. I wonder how I’ll fare while at his place. I’ll probably be little nuts because I can’t dress.

A lot is happening in my life at the moment as you can see. I’m sure that by the end of the year it will be sorted out.

Friday, December 02, 2011


He who is contented is rich.

~Lao Tzu