I have always tried to dress well. Coordinating my clothing is important to being well groomed. Now I can really put to work as a transvestite. Women have it good because they have so many styles and colors to choose from.

I am looking for a black dress because I want to attend some formal events with a crossdressing I know of. I also need a new wig. I'm interested in wearing a hat, too. I have also loved hats as part of a woman's wardrobe. Some of the young women should consider wearing a hat because they would look great.

A quiet today today. Spent a few hours dressed up. I wore a turquoise top, blue foral print skirt, and blue flats. My make-up work has improved but still needs some refining. I've been battling an allergy over the past few days.

I hope to be out again this Wednesday and over the weekend. Being a transvestite seems to have made me bolder. It has carried over into other areas of my life. My wife still shakes her head. I guess she's got an unusual mate.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

There are times in our journey
when we must go by ourselves.

Only 3 days left in the FRESH FRUIT FESTIVAL!


Today I kept thinking about what I need to add to my wardrobe. I'm still in the market for a black dress. I saw three black dresses at a thrift shop yesterday. I think I'll order a new one online. Also saw some blouses and skirts that I liked.

There's so many gender expressions that I don't see how people can narrow the landscape to two genders. Just like there are many different learning styles, there are many gender expressions. Could it be that people are jealous of us?

We were in the middle of a heat wave. It's much cooler today. The other day I purchased a turquoise top at a thrift shop for two dollars. A new thrift shop opened up in my neighborhood. They have some good stuff and the prices aen't bad either.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

IF TWO OF YOU DISAGREE, TRY TO FIND
SOME COMMON GROUND.

Tomorrow I will be dressed again. It's suppose to be hot and humid so I'll dress light and cool. I will be out pretty much the whole weekend. I have to look for some tops for my wife (and me) and a pair of flats. There are a number of sales now, so I'm going to take advantage of them.

Remember the FRESH FRUIT FESTIVAL now through July 23.

I am currently reading 'My Husband Betty' by Helen Boyd. This book is written from the perspective of the wife of a crossdresser. I will give a critique of this book when I finished.

The previous book I read was Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues. I have read three of his books and this one is the best. It is packed with emotions, struggles, searching, and friendship. A very good read.

As I move ahead in my journey, no day is stagnant and neither is time. I'm making the most of my time by doing the things I must do. While the transgender experience is challenging, I choose not to wallow in the negative because it takes away the energy needed to resolve them. Obstacles will be thrown our way but it shouldn't deter from the course set for us.

Yesterday I was dressed for a few hours. I want to go clothes shopping with my wife some day. She still shakes her head but she understands why I dress.

This coming Saturday, we are spending the afternoon in the quaint north Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg. The once decaying neighborhood is one of the hip spots in the city. I'd love to go there at night because there's music, shows and restaurants. We will be going to Coney Island later this summer plus attend some poetry readings and some movies.


STARTING TOMORROW

FRESH FRUIT

INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF LGBT ARTS AND CULTURE

JULY 11-23, 2006

For Info: Website- www.freshfruitfestival.com

I went out dressed again last night. I wore a pink top, denim skirt and blue flats. Some people looked or stared at me but most walked by me. I just enjoyed the warm July evening and going about my business.

The Fresh Fruit Festival starts next week. It will be my first one and I look forward to attending. I love the summer because of the festivals, flea markets, and outdoor concerts and theater.

My wife knows the extent of my dressing. She purchased two bottles of nail polish for me. I going out dressed more and loving it. We need to be out there more if people are going to understand us.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

The best way to overcome fear is to face it head on.

Last night I walked around dressed as Gennee. I felt sooo empowered as I was my femme self. I wasn't afraid or fearful. It felt so natural and my feminine qualitites came out. I have to do this more often.

My spouse and I spoke at length about my dressing. I shared much with her about it and why I do it. I even showed her some of my outfits. She likes some of my articles so much that she wants to wear them. I can wear some of hers, too. I put on one of my wigs and she says that I look different.

It was a great week for me. Now that every thing is in the open, I'm free to dress up and go out without all the secrets. She can't see me dressed as a woman but she understands that it's part of me.

Enjoyed a great day in the city yesterday. It was a pleasant day to enjoy the pulse and people walking about. I even got a compliment on the blue polish on my toenails.

The deeper that I go into transgenderism, the more I wonder if there were transgenders and crossdressers in my ancestral lineage. So far, I'm the only transgendered person in my immediate family. I am currently doing some research on this.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

DRESSING UP HELPS ME TO BECOME THE WOMAN THAT I
WANT TO BE.

I have a very good idea of where I want to go as a transvestite. I'm happy with where I am so far. I intend to go out more being 'Genevieve'.

The pride weekend was good. Progress has been made but transgenders need to focus on real issues. We need to be out there more and on a consistent basis. That's my aim.

My gender is fluid once again. Crazy thoughts are filling my mind. My body wants to submit to its pleasure and sense of discovery. More adventures lie ahead in my sojourn.

I have written much over the past several weeks. Stories, blogs, essays. There's much within me that needs to get out. At times, I am afraid of making myself vulnerable; of expressing my deep feelings. This I must do because it is Genevieve who makes me a better person.

Post # 200!

I had some down time this weekend. I wanted to dress up but the time to access my goals was needed. I'm happy that I have come this far and want to move ahead. I plan on attending some social functions with other transgenders. I am comfortable dressed in public as a woman. The more that I get out the easier it will be.

My spouse and I discussed the matter of my dressing again. It was more in depth this time. She thinks crossdressing is synonomous with being gay. I explained that most transvestites are hetero and married. I'm keeping the lines of communication open. I believe that she will come to understand TG issues.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

The worlds greatest heroes are sometimes people
you will never read or hear about.

Summer is here! Very humid today. I say that after the first day of summer, it's downhill afterwards. That's because each successive day gets a little shorter.

I began working full time again. My body feels it but I'll get used to the routine in time. I miss going to my support group meetings. There's been some illness in the family but I hope to go again very soon.

Tomorrow the Trans Day of Action group will have a march and rally uptown to protest police brutality and discrimination against transgender people of color. I will be going to the rally.

Pride weekend starts tomorrw but Sunday is the big march. I hope that I can march if my schedule permits but it's not looking good. I want to march to represent transgenders and transvestites.

A friend suggested a place for Transwomen and their admirers.

The Boy's Room ( formerly Lucky Stiffs)
211 Avenue A @ 13th Street
New York, NY Weds.

I purchased a chartreuse button down blouse and light green floral skirt. I will wear them possibly as soon as tomorrow. this Saturday, I want to walk around the city dressed. I'm aware of the safety concerns but I'm not afraid.

I'm reading Leslie Feinberg's book Stone Butch Blues. It is a great novel and I recommend it for the LGBT community. I read a lot and learn much about so many things. I don't have a favorite author but read every thing from Plato to the bible to history.

This past Friday, I attended a panel discussion featuring how four women have embraced their transgendered sibling. These lovely ladies have chosen to love and encourage and support their mates and sibling. I was moved by a grandmother who has a grandson who identifies as transgender. She is working hard to understand and help the parents with the child. It is so wonderful to listen to four POSITIVE stories of trans families. They need our support.

I went to the meeting dressed. I wore a denim skirt, pink top and blue flats. A couple of my friends did not recognize me. It was the first time they saw 'Gennee'. I guess I passed. Passing is not that important to me, but I want to look my best.

One thing that really made an impression on me was the gender diversity present. MTFs, crossdressers, FTMs, gender queer, intersex, and others. I really want to meet folks from these other expressions. They are family, too.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I would rather stand for what is right rather than what is popular.

Today, I wore a bra for the second day in a row. My breasts look like they're getting big-and I don't take hormones.

My gender has been fluid the past couple of days. I looked at myself as 'Genevieve'. I envisioned myself going through the day dressed as a woman. Shopping, riding the subway, whatever activities that I needed to do. I know that some day this is coming down the pike.

Today is Flag Day. Once again, it is a good day to remember the men and women in the military. They are our brothers and sisters.
I saw a beautiful red suit in the Roaman's catalogue today. I have to get it. There's some fine events coming up this summer and I want to dress up and go out more. Still looking for a black dress. I haven't found the style that I like.
Going to my first pride event last Saturday has made me feel proud to be a transgender person. I'm still going to try to go to the New York City Pride march.


Here are some websites worth checking out:
www.bowerypoetry.com
www.poetz.com
www.nuyorican.org
www.poetryproject.com
www.bluestockings.com

Today is my first anniversary as a transgender person. Last year I was a gender questioning middle aged man. Now I am a complete and liberated transgender transvestite. I have entered a world whose people are hated, villified and even killed. because they express themselves different from the norm.
I have met some wonderful, creative, and enlightening folks who have helped me in my journey towards self discovery. I want to help others in the same way. This past weekend's activities in Brooklyn Pride have strengthened my self esteem as a transgender.

This was the best weekend I have had as a transgender. On Friday, I attended my first LGBT film festival called Newfest. I saw two documentaries dealing with transgender women. The first film was called Sexualidad, which was 30 minute piece about transgender women in Cuba. This was the first sex education course formed there during the early stages of the AIDS epidemic. Their approach is to deal with the women as they express themselves. It is much superior to the narrow paradigm used here in America.

The main feature was called Cruel and Unusual. It was a documentary about transgender women in the prison system. The filmmakers interviewed them at various prisons around the country. Transgender women are housed with male inmates. They are subjected to harassment, rape, and physical violence by other inmates and some guards. The prison system has no clue about transgender issues. This film needs to be shown at community centers, schools, medical and law schools, prisons,and political consortums.

On Saturday I attended Brooklyn Pride which was my first pride event ever. I enjoyed myself and met a few interesting people. They was food, entertainment, information about various services. The evening concluded with the pride march. I hope to march in New York City pride if my schedule allows me.

Yesterday, I spend much of the day dressed as 'Genevieve'. I wore a skirt, sandals, and cami as I cleaned, cooked, and blogged. It was the longest that I have been dressed.

I will be attending more events this year. I want to be out more with my trans sisters. This past weekend, I felt that I was with family.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

SOCIETY HAS BEEN PROVEN WRONG ABOUT MANY THINGS.

Tomorrow, I will be seeing a documentary called 'Cruel and Unusual'. It is about trans men and women in the prison system. I will give a critique about the film next week.

I will attend the Brooklyn Pride event on Saturday. It will be a first for me. I'm hoping that I can attend the New York City pride if my schedule allows me.


REMEMBER! NEWFEST FILM FESTIVAL
thru Sunday June 11.

Next Monday will be my first anniversary as a transvestite. It has been a wonderful journey. I have found liberation and completeness. I am part of a group of people who are villified and hated by society. I am part of a people who dare to be their true selves. This is something that I am happy to be a part of.

This time last year, I was a man who was questioning his gender. I had read gay magaziness, investigated the leather scene, and watched porno movies. It still didn't feel right for me. When I got the urge to try on women's clothing, it was the start of my journey toward transgenderism. I received some counseling to help me sort out my thoughts. When I admitted that I was a transvestite, all my tensions and fears dissipated.

Today, I am comfortable with who I am. I nurture my feminine qualities, understanding what it is to be a woman in this society. I will never transition, but I feel that those who do are courageous. They hold a special place in my heart. I am equally comfortable wearing women's as I am wearing men's attire. If I had my druthers, I'd wear women's clothes all the time.

This blog was created and dedicated to my transformation. Each day is different and new. The journey continues.

I am working on my second short story about an out transvestite. I hope to put out at least a half dozen short stories by summer's end. Also hope to finish the play that I have been working on for months.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS


Now I can be the Lady in RED

As cities across the country celebrate pride month, it is time to be proud of the successes transgenders have attained. It is a time that we can educate the public about transgender issues. I have been transgendered for only a year but I'm understanding the animosity between the gay and lesbian community and the transgender community. One of the sticking points is the fact that trans people are out in the open. One doesn't has to disclose their sexual preference but our trans identity is there for all to see.
I am a crossdresser, and I plan on being out more. There are times when you have to throw caution to the wind. I know crossdressers who go out dressed and I love and admire them. They are aware of the dangers but they are living their life. The more that I go out dressed the more it will, hopefully, encourage others. It's strange but the older that I get the bolder that I have become. One reason that I want to march in the pride parade is to introduce the world to Genevieve. I believe that there will be people who will be emboldened by crossdressers being out in public.



Don' forget:
NEWFEST FILM FESTIVAL JUNE 1-11
@ AMC LOEWS THEATER
312 West 34th Street (@ 8th Avenue)
Newfest.org

I'm almost finished with a story I have been writing about an out crossdresser. It should be done by the weekend.

There are so many beautiful clothes in the stores. If I had to choose a style that I like, it would be fashions from the '40's and '50's. They really knew how to dress. I'm having quite a time looking for a nice black dress. Finding a style that I like is the most difficult part, but I will find one.

With pride month in full swing this June, I believe it is a great opportunity for trans men and women to educate the public about the issues. I will do whatever I can to help.

Don't miss it!

Newfest

New York Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Film Festival

June 1-11, 2006

@AMC Loews 34th Street Theater

312 West 34 Street (@ 8th Avenue)

Newfest. org

It was a quiet Memorial Day weekend. I spent time reflecting on what the day really means. I think we take for granted all the sacrifices men and women in uniform have made over the years. Now with the war in Iraq going on, I believe it the spirit is returning to Americans.
I have been writing much of late. I am writing positive stories about crossdressers living out in society. So far there are three stories on the back burner. I will post one when it is completed. I portray crossdressers as a vibrant part of our world who are being their true selves.
I will be seeing two films at the Newfest Film Festival next week. One of them named 'Cruel and Unusual' is of particular interest to the TG community. I will give a review of this film and the other one after I see them.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

It takes courage to be your real self. It takes determination
and singlemindedness to live your convictions.

I went out dressed again last night. Had a wonderful time. I wore my new high heels and they felt good on my feet. I met some new ladies and I felt more comfortable this time. It was a mild evening so we had a barbecue. There are folks from all walks of life and it's a great chance to hear what is happening in other peoples's lives. We will be going out to a restaurant in a couple of weeks, but unfortunately, I won't be able to attend because of a prior committment.

The long weekend can't come soon enough. I need a break. I hope to go to a poetry recitation or concert, I don't know which yet. I will be able to get some writing done, too.

Tonight is the big night! Will tell you how it was in the next post.

Today my feelings about transgenderism and transvestism were reinforced within me. I have written some notes, posted comments on some forums about the subject. The further that I move ahead in my journey, the more I wonder if I am fulfilling some ancient tribal prophecy. It's weird, but I must keep going forward.

I'm going out dressed tomorrow for the second time. I will be wearing HEELS! I will also be wearing a pastel yellow blouse and black print skirt. I'm trying to see if I can find a black or yellow blazer.

There's much writing that needs to be done. A short story, work on my play, my blog. Busy night ahead.

I dressed up yesterday and today while my wife was out. It was for a half hour or so yesterday. Today it was for over two hours. I was busy on the computer that I didn't notice that I was dressed. I guess it has become natural to me.

I purchased a pair of black heels today. They are two or two and a half inches high. I will be going out dressed on Wednesday. Can't wait.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

There's no such thing as a gurl having too many
pairs of shoes.

I wrote a short essay on transphobia versus differing opinions. You can read it at
www.glbtq.com under 'Trans Issues and Culture'.

I wanted to go out dressed last night but I couldn't because of other things that
needed to be done. I will be going out this coming Wednesday.

I have been looking about the pride march in June. Trying to decide whose banner to march under. I have two organization to choose from.

June will be a busy month for me. Film festival, my support group, the march. I'm excited about what's coming up.

I have been wiriting and reading more in the past few days. I am currently reading "Nectar In a Sieve" by Kamala Markandaya. I am formulating ideas for an essay about crossdressing and gender. There's so much confusion about the two.

I plan on attending the Newfest Film Festival in June. I want to check out some films about the GLBT community and transgender in particular. June will be busy month for me. I plan on marching in the pride parade. I am looking forward to it.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Know the masculine, keep to the feminine.

-Lau Tzu (570-490 BC)

I purchased a yellow blouse and black print skirt from a thrift shop today. I'm looking for a nice, lightweight blazer to pull it together. I'll have to order some shoes because my feet are big (12E). Found some nice articles at the thrift shop. They had a good selection for a change.

I will have more time to read and write about transgender and crossdressing issues. I will pass on any information I feel will help the trans community.

I will post a few sites on the blog in the next few days.

I just wish to encourage any trans person who feels lonely or is ready to give up. DONT! If you need help, get it. Go to a place where other tg"s are. I am concerned about your well being. Above all:

I LOVE YOU!

GenderEvolve: The Crossdressers' Manifesto

I attended a seminar at the community center last night. A speaker delivered a 90 minute demo about Sexual Reassignment Surgery. It was quite informative and chock full of photos of patients before and after surgery. Some of my friends from my support group were there in attendence.

It has been warm the past few days (finally) and I'm enjoying it. I want to go out dressed more often. Since Wednesday, I have been euphoric over having gone out dressed in public for the first time. I was out with the gurls!

There are a lot of us out there. The trans community is quite diverse and large. My love for the trans community knows no bounds. I pray for the day that we are recognized for being contributing citizens and not freaks.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Living and being your true self is better than being what others think you should be.

I DID IT! Last night, I went out dressed in public for the first time. I was so calm and felt so feminine. I walked along the street and no one paid attention to me. It was so wonderful being with other gurls who want to express themselves. We had a barbecue and shared our experiences. I look forward to going out dressed again. We will be going to a restaurant next time.

I just realized that this is my first spring as a crossdresser. A year ago I never even gave crossdressing a thought. Much has happened in the past year. I have met so many wonderful gurls and love to be with them. I can never go back to the places that I have passed through. I must stay the course. I'm not afraid about what may lie ahead. I just need to find out where I can best help my trans sisters. they have helped me so much.

I tried on the high heels that I purchased. I really have to get used to wearing them. Only wore them for about five minutes and I feel it in my legs. I'm going to look for another wig tomorrow for Wednesday night when I go out.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS



THE GURL WITHIN IS READY TO BLOOM!

I purchased my first pair of high heels today. I will have to get used to wearing them. This will be interesting. I may have a chance to look for some blouses tomorrow. My SO has some blouses that she hardly wears. Maybe she'll give them to me (I hope, I hope).

I am getting to the point where I would rather dress en femme. I feel so much more feminine and I want to express it more often. There so much I want to share and express to others.

Next Wednesday will be my big day. I will be going out dressed in public for the very first time. I don't know what to think except that I am looking forward to it.

I am looking for a trans conference to attend. SOUTHERN COMFORT in Atlanta is a good one, I hear. More and more transgenders are making their mark in the arts and in political circles. It's nice to see that we are slowly being recognized for our talents and gifts. Gender has nothing to do with what we have to offer society.

Leslie Feinberg, a transgender activist, spoke at Barnes and Noble here in the city. I wanted to attend but was unable to.

I hope to go out publicly for the the first time either this week or next week. I have my outfit in my mind that I want to wear. Either a denim skirt and top or a dress.

I am at the community center almost daily. Last Thursday or Friday I noticed a man standing across the street. He looked like we wanted to go in. I was hoping that he would take that step, but he continue onto his destination. I wonder how many men and women pass by the center and are dying to enter through those doors. For some reason, either out of fearof being found out, shame, or guilt they let another opportunity pass by. I wish that I could take them by the hand and lead them in. They don't have to feel isolated and alone.

Now that my support group is on hiatus, I have the opprtunity to explore some of the other trans events at the center. Some day I am going to go in as Gennee. That will be a highlight for me in that I am willing to put myself out there.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

In the process of projecting outer beauty, let us work cultivate the inner beauty within.

I traveled to New Jersey yesterday to take care of some business. I observed all the women coming and going through the train station. I noticed what they were wearing, how they walked, how they gestured. Sandals and open toe shoes were the order of the day since it was over 80 degrees. I could have stayed there all day. I probably would have walked and acted like a woman when I got done. Clothing was bright and interesting. I loved the white skirts and colorful tops I saw.

It was a busy day at work. I went outside to take care of some vending machines. I wore pink panties and bra under my work clothes. I had a chance to browse around in the mall afterwards. I saw so many beautiful ladies tops and pants. I felt so feminine, as if I was actually purchasing all the articles I saw. Ladies, you don't know how good you have it.
I looked for some shoes but couldn't find anything I liked. I'll try again tomorrow.

I awakened this morning feeling more feminine than I since my early days of gender questioning. Genevieve was in bloom. I felt as if I should be this dynamic person going through life with joy and purpose. A helping hand to someone in distress; a listening ear to a troubled soul. I see this beautiful woman making a difference with people around her.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

The security of the present must be forsaken to venture into the future.

This coming Wednesday will be the last group support meeting for this session. It has been better than the first session that I attended. A few people bared their souls. The last couple of meetings have been testy but timely. I have gotten to know a few of my tran-sisters better. Can't wait until the session starts in June.D
If you want to go somewhere to let loose, I suggest 'Lips' (www.lipsnyc.com). Dinner is served by crossdressing waitresses who will entertain you. There are also shows and performances.

I have been checking out the fashions for this season. White pants and peasants skirts are in. I prefer a white skirt with a pastel top. White and black are really a great combo. I have seen some crossdressers dress better than a lot of women.
I will be posting some places where crossdressers, transsexuals, transgenderists, and transvestites can go in a few days. There's more out there than you think. I just have to get my list in order.

I worked some more on my play. Still haven't thought of a title for it. One will possibly come to mind when I complete writing it. There's precious little art and movies which portray transgenders in a positive light. I think the movie 'Transameica' was a decent start but more is needed. I have principally crossdressers and transvestites in mind.
I have been reading much about the progress the transgender community is making in regards to civil rights. It's been painfully slow but activists are scoring a few victories.
The senseless deaths of so many transgenders is a topic that really grabs me. When I read about the viciousness of these crimes it makes me want to weep. I'm not sure in what capacity that I will be involved with this but I believe that I will be a part of it. People need to be educated about transgender issues and especially the wide range of gender expression.

I purchased a whie on Friday as I continue to build my wardrobe. The weather was great, too. I dined at a sidewalk cafe on Second Avenue. I have always loed side walk resaurants. There's something romantic about them.
Saturday was rainy and cold so I stayed and worked on the internet. Chatted with my friends on the chat line. I read some and wrote some. I have come up with a few ideas for the play that I am writing.
Though I get no support from SO, I'm still positive and hope one day she will understand. She dooesn't prevent me from dressing. I will have to show her wha crossdressing is all about.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never.

I envision the day when I will go out dressed in public without a care in the world. There are so many pretty clothes out there. Wish I had a million dollars so I can purchase the things that I want.

Currently, I am reading Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged". I am an avid reader as I try to read at least one book per month. It's a habit I have had since grade school.

I will be posting in the coming days places where TG/TS/TV/CD events are happening.

It was a warm, pleasant weekend. Rather nice for the Northeast this time of year. Hung out in New York City on Saturday window shopping. I walked a lot and the exercise was good.

I found transgender music at the Virgin Superstore. The group is 'Antony and the Johnsons'. I'm picking up a cd on Friday. I'm surfing the internet for more transgendered musicians. I would like to find some jazz musicians.

I'm looking for a black skirt and black shoes. I need flats and heels (about 3 inches maximum). I have to get used to wearing them. I will look at the Kmart on Friday for the skirts. My spouse and I window shopped at Lane Bryant's yesterday. She saw a couple of outfits that she liked.
They would look good on me, too.

My wife shook her head when after I painted my toenails. We have a ways to go before she accepts my dressing.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

OPEN DIALOGUE IS BETTER THAN SILENT SUFFERING

I went out shopping yesterday. I purchased a pink top, a denim skirt, and blue flats. It may not sound like much, but to me it was heaven! Though dressed in drab I felt so feminine, knowing how women feel when they shop. They have so many more choices. Can't wait for my next foray. I want to go out dressed, too.

Still working on my play. I have gotten some ideas from some folks. As I become more involved with transgender issues, I am learning what trans people feel and believe. As I grow in my own transgenderism, I look to make the characters in the play human and caring.

In the next few weeks, I will be posting events where transgenders can get together for fun and entertainment.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

ONCE YOU ARE OUT OF THE CLOSET, STAY OUT!

Today, I went out looking for some shoes. I'll have to order them online because my size (12e) is diificult to find. I need a size 14 in womens size. I shopped for some skirts and dresses. I may purchase something tomorrow.

Now that I'm out to my spouse, I'm going to be the best crossdresser that I can be. I hope some day that she will see that this is a part of me. It will take time.

I'm seeking to attend more transgendered and CD events. I want to meet more people like myself. I count some in my support group as friends. The chat lines are a gold mine of info and people who are like me. I am not alone.

My wife now knows that I am a crossdresser. I told her after she found my panties. She reacted calmly but I'm not sure if she approves. I professed my love to her and that this is a part of me.
It will take time for us to sort it out. I need to show her other things about crossdressing and transgender issues. I'm calm about it and now someone else knows. I was going o tell her in the future, but the future arrived a lot sooner than I expected. The point is that there's nothing to hide anymore. I never felt ashamed about being a crossdresser before and I don't now.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

DOWN DAYS CAN BE AN OPPORTUNITY TO REFOCUS AND REASSESS OUR GOALS.

The writing is coming along. I'm trying to find my transgender voice. There are many positive stories of and by transgenders and that is what I want to accentuate.

I will be shopping for clothes sometime next week. Shoes will be tough because I have wide feet. A red dress is my top priority. I also need a black one, too. The spring fashions are out now. Teal, apple green, and orange seem to be hot colors. I like teal on myself.

I keep learning so much about transgender that I am seeking to become more involved with the community. I love to hang around the center. It's too bad that this is one of the few places that transgender men and women feel safe. I love listening to people talk about their progress. Some day we will have our rights.

Life has been good. I have been dressing more and feeling good about it. So far, it has been a wonderful journey and I have loved every moment. I have been looking for more TG music and films. I have become interested in others experiences. I listened to some music by transgenders and I enjoyed it. It's hard to find but I'm searching. There are a couple of queer film fests here that I plan to attend. The Newfest Film Festival is popular here in New York. It begins in June.

The play that I am writing has progressed some. I did some writing yesterday and Saturday. Still don't have a title but that will come.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

BE BOLD; BE DARING; ENJOY LIFE; AND MOST OF ALL LOVE YOURSELF FOR WHO YOU ARE!

My playwriting is going slow, but it's going. I want to portray transgenders in a positive light to show that we are real people who want to live our lives without fear of violence and harassment.

The more that I understand about being transgendered, the more I want to be involved in the community. There are too many things on my plate right now, but just getting to know my trans brother and sisters is a wonderful experience.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Each day is one step closer to self discovery.

This week has been very good. My support group meetings are getting better.
I have a much better understanding of a number of gender issues. I am seeing
the difference in other people's lives, also.

I'm still writing a play about transgenders. I have no title yet, but I have a couple
of ideas about the subject matter. I want to present a positive picture to show that
we are not freaks. I have been able to express my feelings through the spoken
word and with my pen. I would love to see the whole range of gender expression
in plays, movies, and television. Plays are my favorite.

I will be getting some high heels (my first pair) and red dress very soon. I'll let you know.
I'm still working on my makeup but it's coming along. There's so much I have to say. I will
have some in my next blog.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

The older that I get, the more feminine I have become.
The more feminine I have become, the more complete I am.

My support group meeting was great! Afterwards, I chatted with a transsexual for an hour. I feel so much a part of this community and group. Each day, I glean something new in my journey as a transgender. We still have a ways to go as a minority group, but I see some small victories. I see people sruggling and getting comfortable with their identity. I see people grow emotionally as they break the shackles of shame and fear in their lives. To me, this is the most satisfying time when that happens.

My support group has been tremendous. It was a great exchange of vibes and the tribulations of transgendered folks in particular. I look forward to the next meeting.

I am actively looking for a dress and shoes. I have a much better picture of how I want to look. There's so many beautiful colors and styles. I am going to make my grand entrance wearing something red. It's bold and loud. I'm pretty excited now and can't wait to go out in public.

I'm writing a lot now. Poetry and mostly plays. With school work included, it's hard to keep up, but I am manging it. I want to travel this summer. I haven't decided where yet, but I hope I have the opportunity to crossdress while on vacation.

Yesterday, shopped for myself purchasing two bras, five pairs of panties, and my first pair of pantyhose. I am looking for shoes now. I am looking forward to the day that I go out in public as a woman. It's getting closer and I am excited.

HAPPY

VALENTINE'S

DAY

I saw the movie "Transamerica" last night and I recommend it. Felicity Huffman acted superbly as a transitining woman. The movie was funny, serious, and spoke volumes about how difficult transitioning is on family as well as the individual. I enjoyed the movie.

Next week, I may go to a poetry recitation but I haven't decided where. There are a lot of them to chose from. There are other movies out there but I haven't decided which one I want to see.

Tuesday, I am going to wear as much red as possible. In a perfect scenario, I would wear a red dress and go out to dinner with friends. Someday, maybe.

This Friday, I am going to see the film "Transamerica". I wanted to see it prior to the film winning awards. It's worth a see since it did win awards.

I am currently reading two books. They are "Girlfriend: Men, Women, and Drag" and "Crossdressing, Sex, and Gender". I will comment on these books when I complete them.

My support group starts up again tomorrow. I missed my fellow transgenders and look forward to seeing them again.

It is February already! Valentine's Day is in a couple of weeks. I am going to wear red that day. I have something planned with my spouse. I may purchase a red dress and shoes. This month, I will go out in public dressed en femme. I'm kind of excited and nervous but it is something that I want to do.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Red symbolizes defiance-the boldness to go against society's so-called norms
about gender.

Today is my seventh anniversary (month) of being a crossdresser. It has been a wonderful and interesting journey. It has been challenging for me, emotionally. Crossdressing is an important part of my life and has added another dimesion in my diverse life. Femininity has added color and personality to my life. I look forward to cotinuing the journey.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Every gurl needs to have fun in her life.

Greetings once again! I have been reading and writing much. Writing about crossdressers and transgenders is challenging and enjoyable. The message I convey is that we do not have to be ashamed of who we are. I am writing a play featuring transgendered folks. I am writing it in a positive vein because we should feel good about ourselves. Perceptions are difficult to change, but we are people who have contributed much to the American landscape.
I have seen some beautiful outfits that I would love to purchase. I am fixated on red dresses and red suits. I have had a sense of fashion since my teen years. As a crossdresser, I believe that is important. I am a stickler for the right color combinations. Knowing how to coordinate my colors outweighs how much clothing I have.
It will be my seventh anniversary (month) of being a CD. I have grown and met some lovely people. I look forward to continuing the journey.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS



I GOT MY PANTIES ON!

I cannot wait until I get my wardrobe the way I would like.
I have settled on a red suit and a red dress. I have to purchase
a black, a must to my wardrobe. When I look in the mirror, I see
a lovely woman who wants to enjoy life.
I have begun to communicate with female to male crossdressers.
They are family and I would love to exchange our experiences. It would
be interesting.

Everything is good with me. I am writing a play which features transgendered people. I am writing a positive play portraying transgenders as people who just want to be treated like anybody else. I have an interest in playwrighting and screenwriting, so I am concentrating on it.

I have visited numerous bookstores and libraries, looking for books and magazines about transgendered men and women. There are some books and magazines, but not a lot. There are some fine books like "Transgender Warriors" and "Gender Outlaw" and "Transgender Tapestry" is a good magazine. There are some other good books, but there needs to be more publications by and about transgender people.
I am writing a play about a transvestite. It's not the coming of age story that is common, but I am trying to write about someone who enjoys his life and presents a positive insight about transgender people.
I think about our community much and all the potential that we possess. I would love to see many goals achieved this year. I love you like I love my own family. We ARE a family.

A Happy New Year to all. Reflecting on 2005, I discovered things about myself that were buried deep inside me. I have always known that there is more to me than I, or others, could have imagined. Every individual is. When I crossed over to another side of the gender spectrum, a whole new world opened up. I am on a long journey am I do not know when it will end. It is a trek that I am compelled to take.
I am looking forward to a great 2006.