I embraced whatever came my way. It seemed that I was nudged along as I trekked along the gender road. In May, 2009, I sensed that I was to cross another road-a road that would alter the course of my life. Two years earlier I sensed that this change would be made.
I hesitated because I knew that this change would change my perspective about gender and being gender variant. I realized that I could not go back to where I was. Just like life, gender fluidity is not stationary. In June, 2009, I finally crossed that road declaring myself a trangenderist. I was always equally comfortable as masculine and feminine. Gnder fluidity has taught me that both are an intrinsic part of everyone's life whther or not they are willing to admit it.
Life was sailing along for ten months when I sensed that another change was to come. I didn't feel anxious likeI did when coming out as a transgenderist. I didn't see myself as being transsexual. I remember a lovely transsexual woman sharing with me a few years before that I may be. At that point I believed that I had to have gender reassignment surgery in order to be a transsexual. Upon further research, I saw that a person can be transsexual without having the surgery. This is where I was.
When I came out as transsexual in June, 2010, I completed my third life changing experience. I see myself in feminine terms and consider msyelf a transsexual woman. I never wanted to have the surgery or take hormones because I feel that I never had the desire to.
It's amazing that in nearly six I have been transformed so much. From a crossdresser to transgenderist to transsexual. It's been quite a journey which is still ongoing. I first came out when I was fifty-six. I'm sixty-two and have never been happier in my life. I'm looking forward to more of what life has for me as a transsexual woman.
~Genevieve
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
My Coming Out-Part 2
I kept saying to myself that it will all pass. Instead the urge grew stronger. Now I wondered where this was headed.During a counseling session, I laid bare my heart. I shared with the two counselors all that I was feeling. After they conversed together, they informed me that I was crossdresser. I was shocked to say the least. I never tried on feminine articles as a child nor did I ever have the desire.
For weeks i struggled with this revelation. I kept saying that this was just a phase. Deep inside I knew that it wasn't. I found a support group at he community center. I met many people in various stages of gender identity. I started this blog and began recording my feelings and thoughts. I had to because the pressure was getting to.
Several weeks later, I came to a decision to come out to myself. Almost immediately, all the tension and stress dissipated. I felt liberated and complete. I was liberated in the sense that I was no longer beholden the gender binary system that society says that we are suppose to fit in. I felt complete because the feeings of being different was not there any more. It is no longer an issue.
I did much research about crossdressing. I ran into the word 'transgender' for the first time. It connected with me. I shared with my wife after she found some of my stuff. I was nervous and scared but I told her everything. She was shocked but gradually saw that it was a part of me. I told my son about a year later. He was pretty cool with it.
I wore women's articles around the house. Usually it was skirt and camisole. The support meetings helped me understand what I was going through. There were many changes in my life.
Most of them were emotional. I went out in public and discovered that most people didn't care. I didn't feel nervous, which was somewhat surprising. I was now being the person that I truly am.
I joined to couple of groups where I met many transgender people. After a year I sensed that my experience ran much deeper than clothing and go out. I began to cogitate about where I was headed to now.
To be continued ...
~Genevieve
For weeks i struggled with this revelation. I kept saying that this was just a phase. Deep inside I knew that it wasn't. I found a support group at he community center. I met many people in various stages of gender identity. I started this blog and began recording my feelings and thoughts. I had to because the pressure was getting to.
Several weeks later, I came to a decision to come out to myself. Almost immediately, all the tension and stress dissipated. I felt liberated and complete. I was liberated in the sense that I was no longer beholden the gender binary system that society says that we are suppose to fit in. I felt complete because the feeings of being different was not there any more. It is no longer an issue.
I did much research about crossdressing. I ran into the word 'transgender' for the first time. It connected with me. I shared with my wife after she found some of my stuff. I was nervous and scared but I told her everything. She was shocked but gradually saw that it was a part of me. I told my son about a year later. He was pretty cool with it.
I wore women's articles around the house. Usually it was skirt and camisole. The support meetings helped me understand what I was going through. There were many changes in my life.
Most of them were emotional. I went out in public and discovered that most people didn't care. I didn't feel nervous, which was somewhat surprising. I was now being the person that I truly am.
I joined to couple of groups where I met many transgender people. After a year I sensed that my experience ran much deeper than clothing and go out. I began to cogitate about where I was headed to now.
To be continued ...
~Genevieve
Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Coming Out- Part 1
My Coming out Story
All my life I felt that I was different but I didn’t know why. I was never troubled continuously by this but from time to time those feelings would come up.
I grew up as a typical male active in typical male activities. I played sports, hung out with my friends, and talked about cars and girls. I was a boy scout for a few years. I had a loving family but, somehow, I felt like an outsider. I was always a quiet and shy kid who was sometimes misunderstood. I never really shared many of my true feelings.
My high school and junior college years were filled with sports, books and figuring where I fit it. I served three years in the army. I became a born-again Christian I 1972. It was one of the most important decisions of my life.
After the service I was working, active in the church, got married and raised a family. The feelings of difference didn’t trouble me all that much. There were plenty of activities that kept me occupied.
When the new century arrived, those feelings of being different intensified. In 2002, I wanted to bust out but what was I busting to? It was very frustrating that I didn’t know what was making me feel this way. I would get angry over nothing. I felt that another person was trying to come out of me.
In May, 2005 I was at home recuperating from heart surgery. I got the urge to try on my spouse’s skirt. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. The more I resisted the stronger the urge got. This went on for days. I finally gave in figuring that the urge would go away. I tried on one of my spouse’s skirts. I tried a blouse, a dress, and a bra.
I thought the urge would dissipate; instead it got stronger. That one act set the wheel in motion the events that would change my life.
To be Continued......
~Genevieve
All my life I felt that I was different but I didn’t know why. I was never troubled continuously by this but from time to time those feelings would come up.
I grew up as a typical male active in typical male activities. I played sports, hung out with my friends, and talked about cars and girls. I was a boy scout for a few years. I had a loving family but, somehow, I felt like an outsider. I was always a quiet and shy kid who was sometimes misunderstood. I never really shared many of my true feelings.
My high school and junior college years were filled with sports, books and figuring where I fit it. I served three years in the army. I became a born-again Christian I 1972. It was one of the most important decisions of my life.
After the service I was working, active in the church, got married and raised a family. The feelings of difference didn’t trouble me all that much. There were plenty of activities that kept me occupied.
When the new century arrived, those feelings of being different intensified. In 2002, I wanted to bust out but what was I busting to? It was very frustrating that I didn’t know what was making me feel this way. I would get angry over nothing. I felt that another person was trying to come out of me.
In May, 2005 I was at home recuperating from heart surgery. I got the urge to try on my spouse’s skirt. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. The more I resisted the stronger the urge got. This went on for days. I finally gave in figuring that the urge would go away. I tried on one of my spouse’s skirts. I tried a blouse, a dress, and a bra.
I thought the urge would dissipate; instead it got stronger. That one act set the wheel in motion the events that would change my life.
To be Continued......
~Genevieve
Friday, January 28, 2011
Snow and Global Warming
We already had nineteen inches of snow the other day-and more is on the way. This is six storms in a month and it's not over yet. Global warming? I should think so. With all the floods in Brazil and Australia, the rains in California, and the drought in Russia, I can only conclude that there is global warming. And what are our august federal agencies doing about it? Absolutely nothing. There's so much misinformation and spin that it's nauseating.
~Genevieve
~Genevieve
Friday, January 21, 2011
Time TO Get Serious
I am grateful that there is LGBT media. However, there isn't enough news about transgender people. Seems that we are left out. There 's so much happening and yet there is scant news about transgender people. I pour through the news articles, the internet, and google. I'm tired of seeing half of the publications filled with entertainment and frivolous activities. Alternative media was gone the same way of mainstream media.
Attacks against LGBT folks has increased. Transgender people, especially women of color, are the disproportionate number of those murdered. With the changes in Washington, there is no time for frivolity because people's lives and livelihoods are at stake.
~Genevieve
Attacks against LGBT folks has increased. Transgender people, especially women of color, are the disproportionate number of those murdered. With the changes in Washington, there is no time for frivolity because people's lives and livelihoods are at stake.
~Genevieve
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Coming Out Stories
One of my favorites activities is reading posts from many folks on the forums I read. I especially enjoy the coming out stories. It's a big step step for each person who does so. It takes courage to do this.
There are times I wish that I could meet each person and congratulate them. I try to encourage them and trust that their journey will be one of excitement and fulfillment. I remember when I came out to my spouse. I was nervous; wondering how she would receive the news. She was shocked but took the news well.
Being authentic isn't easy in our conformist and conventional society. Everywhere there are those forces that try to make us go back into our closets. I admire those folks who have decided to be who they are. Once I made this declaration there was no turning back. There have been some bumps along the way but I'm going on.
I've never been happier in my life. I encourage each one of you to be who you are. You have every right to be the person that you are. You have enriched my life and I pray I've done likewise.
Genevieve
There are times I wish that I could meet each person and congratulate them. I try to encourage them and trust that their journey will be one of excitement and fulfillment. I remember when I came out to my spouse. I was nervous; wondering how she would receive the news. She was shocked but took the news well.
Being authentic isn't easy in our conformist and conventional society. Everywhere there are those forces that try to make us go back into our closets. I admire those folks who have decided to be who they are. Once I made this declaration there was no turning back. There have been some bumps along the way but I'm going on.
I've never been happier in my life. I encourage each one of you to be who you are. You have every right to be the person that you are. You have enriched my life and I pray I've done likewise.
Genevieve
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
More Snow
We got around nine inches of snow here. Not as much as last time but at least the streets were plowed. People are still on the mayor's tail about the the last storm.
~Genevieve
~Genevieve
Monday, January 10, 2011
More of the White Stuff Coming
We're expecting more snow here tomorrow or tomorrow evening. Six to twelve inches are predicted. I hope the mayor has the snow plows and salters ready and out there working should it strike. He took a major it from every where here in New York City about the last storm two weeks ago.
~Genevieve
~Genevieve
Friday, January 07, 2011
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Kind Words
I was at the community center on Sunday. I was sitting on a bench reading. A young lesbian and I exchanged happy new year wishes. An older lesbian woman was present. The young shared the positive changes in her life. She felt at peace with herself.
I shared my life as a transgender woman. I was very open to sharing. She commented that I look so happy and that I looked good. She encouraged me to be what I am. Her kind words made my day. This is what I had in mind when I began this journey. Having a positive affect on others and present myself in a postive and affirming. I'm so thankful for that day.
~Genevieve
I shared my life as a transgender woman. I was very open to sharing. She commented that I look so happy and that I looked good. She encouraged me to be what I am. Her kind words made my day. This is what I had in mind when I began this journey. Having a positive affect on others and present myself in a postive and affirming. I'm so thankful for that day.
~Genevieve
Monday, January 03, 2011
2011
Happy New year to one and all. I trust that 2010 was a good one for you. I did have my struggles but I'm happy to be alive.
As I look at 2011 I see a more active life. I have been reading much on some issues of interest to me. I will be out protesting a lot this year, not only about trans issues. There is so much that is affecting the lives of people across the country; foreclosures, unemployment, politicians selling out to corporations, outsourcing of jobs, genetically engineered food (very bad for people), and a mainstream media that does not reperesent our interests. Many cities are bankrupt and more will be so this year. I probably will be protesting more in 2011 than I have in my entire life.
Our brethren in Europe Asia, Africa, South America, and the Caribbean are out in the streets when something threatens their lives and well being. In America, there is much apathy and acceptance of much of this criminal strangulation of of the people. I believe that in 2011, people will take to the streets to register their dissent. There's needs to be more progressive and alternative ways to healing the environment, ending the wars (the Vietnam War ended because people saw what was really happening on the tv), hunger, de-ghettoizing neighborhoods, and organic farming.
Right now, I'm in the midst of planning some events and goals for the year. I cannot sit idly by while corporations such the life out of the American people. I will also focus on some trans issues because transgender people are affected by all the bigotry and invasion of privacy in our lives. The way I see it, 2011 will be an active and exciting year.
~Genevieve
As I look at 2011 I see a more active life. I have been reading much on some issues of interest to me. I will be out protesting a lot this year, not only about trans issues. There is so much that is affecting the lives of people across the country; foreclosures, unemployment, politicians selling out to corporations, outsourcing of jobs, genetically engineered food (very bad for people), and a mainstream media that does not reperesent our interests. Many cities are bankrupt and more will be so this year. I probably will be protesting more in 2011 than I have in my entire life.
Our brethren in Europe Asia, Africa, South America, and the Caribbean are out in the streets when something threatens their lives and well being. In America, there is much apathy and acceptance of much of this criminal strangulation of of the people. I believe that in 2011, people will take to the streets to register their dissent. There's needs to be more progressive and alternative ways to healing the environment, ending the wars (the Vietnam War ended because people saw what was really happening on the tv), hunger, de-ghettoizing neighborhoods, and organic farming.
Right now, I'm in the midst of planning some events and goals for the year. I cannot sit idly by while corporations such the life out of the American people. I will also focus on some trans issues because transgender people are affected by all the bigotry and invasion of privacy in our lives. The way I see it, 2011 will be an active and exciting year.
~Genevieve
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Snow; Year Closing Comment
New York got hit with a major snowstorm on Sunday. It snowed nearly 3 feet where I live. My street wasn't plowed for two days. Many sides streets weren't touched. The city is taking a hit as well it should. The mayor admitted, begrudgingly, that he messed up. It's warming up so some of the snow will melt.
As the year draws to a close, I can say that I have learned much about life as much as myself. More and more I see the need to find common ground with people because we need to connect. I have been able to do this but I need to do more of it. It may mean that my belief system will be challenged but so be it. Putting myself in another person's shoes helps me to see what the person may be facing.
It great that I did accomplish some of my goals. It was a tough year financial but I have remained positive and know this will not last forever. As the new year approaches, I pray that all will succeed and see their dreams fulfilled.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
~Genevieve
As the year draws to a close, I can say that I have learned much about life as much as myself. More and more I see the need to find common ground with people because we need to connect. I have been able to do this but I need to do more of it. It may mean that my belief system will be challenged but so be it. Putting myself in another person's shoes helps me to see what the person may be facing.
It great that I did accomplish some of my goals. It was a tough year financial but I have remained positive and know this will not last forever. As the new year approaches, I pray that all will succeed and see their dreams fulfilled.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
~Genevieve
Thursday, December 23, 2010
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Be thankful for who you are. There are people that appreciate you because you
are you.
~Genevieve
are you.
~Genevieve
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
PROUD TO BE A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
I am a transgender woman and proud to be one. I was born this way and no one has the right to deny me what is rightfully mine. We are more visible now than ever. Even in the LGB community, we are still looked upon as second class citizens by some. This is something that needs to change.
Transgender men and women have always been involved in many activities which made America great. We have been around since the beginning of time. In spite of all the efforts to eradicate us, we thrive and survive. The flag above is one that am proud to carry and bear.
~Genevieve
Transgender men and women have always been involved in many activities which made America great. We have been around since the beginning of time. In spite of all the efforts to eradicate us, we thrive and survive. The flag above is one that am proud to carry and bear.
~Genevieve
Friday, December 17, 2010
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
“To have one’s individuality completely ignored is like being pushed quite out of life – like being blown out as one blows out a light.”
~ Evelyn Scott
~ Evelyn Scott
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Happy
Today is a very cold day but I am happy. It's has nothing to do with my circumstances but just the way that I feel now. I'm happy with who I am and how far I have progressed.
It seems that this year less is focused on the material and more on the spiritual and emotional. This year I have been challenged in my thinking, perspective, and how I view others. I'm sharing my happiness with you because there may be someone who needs encouraging. You are valued as a person.
I'm so happy to share my joy. Above all, I'm happy that I know you and see you as my brothers and sisters.
~Genevieve
It seems that this year less is focused on the material and more on the spiritual and emotional. This year I have been challenged in my thinking, perspective, and how I view others. I'm sharing my happiness with you because there may be someone who needs encouraging. You are valued as a person.
I'm so happy to share my joy. Above all, I'm happy that I know you and see you as my brothers and sisters.
~Genevieve
Saturday, December 11, 2010
December
December is in full swing now. People are scurrying about getting gifts, trees, and having office parties. Watching all this makes me dizzy at times. Yesterday I sat in an empty church sanctuary, thankful that I've made it this far.
In my mind this time of year can put many things into perspective. With each passing year this is means so much more to me. While I'm thankful for many things I'm mindful of many lonely people at this time. I appreciate family and friends for the meaning they add to my life.
We may see December as the end of another year. However, it can be the beginning of new goals and ideas. I guess it's just the student in me. I want to discover new things, to have my thinking challenged, and to share this knowledge with others. Yesterday, I enjoyed how much freedom we have to choose how we want to live our lives. It's something that needs to be encouraged.
~Genevieve
In my mind this time of year can put many things into perspective. With each passing year this is means so much more to me. While I'm thankful for many things I'm mindful of many lonely people at this time. I appreciate family and friends for the meaning they add to my life.
We may see December as the end of another year. However, it can be the beginning of new goals and ideas. I guess it's just the student in me. I want to discover new things, to have my thinking challenged, and to share this knowledge with others. Yesterday, I enjoyed how much freedom we have to choose how we want to live our lives. It's something that needs to be encouraged.
~Genevieve
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
GENEVIEVE'S GEMS
Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all.
~Norman Vincent Peale
~Norman Vincent Peale
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