My Testimony

All my life I felt that I was different. I never knew why I felt that way but I did. I was brought in a secure loving home so I always felt accepted and loved.

Growing up I did typical male things. I played sports, hang out with my buddies, and talked about girls. Though I did have a few close friends, there was always that feeling of disconnect. I didn't feel that I belong. As my life moved forward the feelings of difference never troubled me that much because there was plenty of things that kept me busy. I graduated from junior college and served in the army. I became a Christian while in the service. It was the best decision I ever made.I married in 1980, became involved with church activities, and lived life as your typical married man.

When the 21st century came, my gender issues became more intense and confusing. I wouId get angry but didn't know why I did. I still didn't tie my dissatisfaction with my gender. I always envisioned myself as performing some great achievement.

In 2005, I began to crossdress. When I admitted that I was a crossdresser, I discovered that I was also transgender. I chose to embrace who I was now was. All the inner turmoil dissipated. I felt completed and liberated.Two important things happened to me. The first is God confirmed to me that he loved and accepted me as a transgender person. The second was that my family accepted that I was transgender.

While I enjoyed my new identity, I felt that being transgender ran much deeper than clothing. I met other transgender people I read and studied about transgender issues. I began to see the spiritual needs of the transgender community. I know of three lesbians who were dismissed by their church because of their sexual orientation. Many believe that God hates him. This disturbs me greatly because church is the one place that a world weary soul should be able to find rest.

I see myself as a transgender woman. God loves me as He always has. What He has done is introduced me to a family I never knew I had. Praise Him.

Genevieve

Shared Testimony on Two Websites

I posted my testimony on two sites that I'm a member of. I have the chance to educate more people about transgender people. One other opportunity presented to me fell through. Seems like opportunities to share are coming up here and there. This is one of the ways I believe that I can contribute to transgender people getting equal rights.

Genevieve

Two Bills Affecting Transgender People Vetoed

Deeming them as 'unnecessary', CA. Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger saw fit to veto two that affect transgender people. I was appalled by this because transgender people are much more likely to be victimized in prisons. I find it striking that while California transgender people cannot change their documents to reflect their new identity, Brazil just made it easier for transgender people can change their documents. Go figure.

Genevieve

http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2009/10/governator-vetoes-california-bills.html

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

There's no shame in being who you are and living the way you were meant to.

More Attacks

Attacks against LGBT people have become more frequent. Last month, two transgender women were attacked in Queens. A gay man lies in a coma, the result of being kicked and beaten by two men. They have been apprehended.

Though I am concerned I am not afraid. As our issues are more into the public arena it's no surprise that there will be those who don't want us to have equality. All over the country and the world LGBT people have been active and working to secure our rights. It is so important that we remain vigilent. In the last post I mentioned two opportunities presented to me. I believe what ever we can do will help in our struggle.

Genevieve

Two Great Opportunities

I have been presented with two opportunities to share about my transgender experience. One of the parties is going to call me tomorrow about a possible interview and story. There's a few details to be worked out. The other opportunity is to share my story on their website. I really look forward to these opportunities.

Genevieve

Back In Business

I am waiting for some reports about the march in Washington. I know at least one person who did go. I am considering doing an interview and story about being a transgender veteran. The drawback is that I may have to use my male name. Couple that with the fact that I'm out to only a few people. I will need to give the people my decision by Wednesday.

There is a lot happening i the transgender community. I was reading where in Ohio it is easier to change sex on licenses. There's been so much going on that I have to catch up on many things. My computer was out for ten days and I just got it back up on Saturday.

I am also considering studying for my master's degree. At first I was deciding between adult and childhood education. Now gender studies and creative writing have been thrown into the mix. It's a huge choice I have to make.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Always have a positive attitude.

More Than Gender and Sexuality

I have been editing my testimony of coming out. It's amazing how many events took place before, during and after coming out. The depth of the changes in my life is truly amazing. It hasn't been stressful by any stretch. In fact, I enjoy sharing it with in hopes that it will encourage someone.

Many changes are happening in our community all across the world. I want to be a part of the change. As I get older I have become involved with many causes and issues. Looking back I think my getting involved in something goes back to 1975 when I volunteered to usher at my local church. It was nice to be fed from the preaching but I wanted to put my energy and compassion into action.

Coming out is not only about gender and sexuality. To me, it's involving myself in someone else life or a cause for the betterment of others. I'm sure many of you have discovered talents and abilities you may not have known you possessed. I remember when I joined a grassroots organization, one of the tasks was calling volunteers on the phone. Normally I would have freaked out at such a prospect. When I proceded to make the calls I felt a connection with the people I spoke with. Many expressed heart felt appreciation that I called them back.

My point is don't sell yourself short. There's always someone who could use an encouraging word. How many of you came out of your shells when you touched someone else's life? Coming out does take courage, risk, and resolve that you can make a difference.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Everything that we have gone through in our lives has prepared us for the very moment that we are in right now.

Busy, Busy

I have been busy with personal business and my computer went kaput. I'm posting this from a computer in the library. Hope to have my computer soon.

I wrote my testimony of my coming out. I'm reading it and rereading it. I may post it here. It's amazing that it's been over four years since that wonderful July day. Have also written some prose. It's not my strength but I do enjoy writing it.

I have been reading responses of those who oppose ENDA and same-sex mariage. I long believe that if someone can present compelling and solid information as to why these laws shouldn't be passed, I wish that they would do so without any preconceived notions. Unfortunately, that is not the case. There is NO reason that a group of people should be second class citizens-just because of who they are. It has become more personal to me because of the affects I've seen on people. Am I am tired of people using the bible and religion to justify their prejudices. This is something that I'm refuting right now.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Affirmation by the family will give gender variant young people a solid rock in which they can stand on.

Exciting Journey

I was reading a post today from someone who feels more comfortable with the feminine side. I was so pleased when she said that and commented on it. Self-acceptance is a very liberating experience. I don't know if my CD sister had struggles with accepting herself but the fact that she is now comfortable with the feminine is a big step.

I still get excited when I hear of someone coming to terms with who they are. I remember the day when I came out and how liberating it was. Coming out is a personal matter that each individual has decide for his/herself. It is just the start of the journey. Adventures, trials, and discoveries await us.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Fill your mind with pleasant thoughts.

Dinner out

Last night I dined out with a friend at a local diner. We were discussing transgenderism and transsexualism in the bible. He wanted to get some feedback from about it. He is writing a paper about it. I did share that God loves us and that transness is in-born. My gay friend and I share many things in common; above all that we love God and the GLBT community.

My desire to share with others about transgenderism is growing stronger, especially in the religious and evangelical institutions. I think that writing is one calling that I have. Have loved it since I was sixteen. I will be writing my testimony about my coming out.

Genevieve

Will Be Going To Future Vets Meetings As Gennee

Yesterday, I attended a meeting of my veterans group. The group is an LGBT veteran group. I was also elected treasurer. I also came dressed in drab. They have seen me dressed as Gennee. Well when I came to the meeting the president asked how come I wasn't dressed? I had thought about it but wasn't sure. After hearing his lament, I have decided that from now on I'm going as Gennee.

I believe that this is the confirmation of what happened to me earlier in the year. I am presenting myself as a transgender woman almost regularly. This is how I feel about myself and what I am expressing. I have had two talks with my spouse in the past month and a third one is upcoming. She may not always understand but she is accepting of it to a point. I'm thankful for that.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Life does throw some curves. It's how we handle them.

9/11

Hard to believe that it's the eighth anniversary of that fateful Tuesday morning. How we live life has changed forever. I was supposed to have been in the first tower that was hit at precisely the same time. I was delayed because I needed some equipment. After both towers fell, this event is forever eched into my conscience.

Today we pause to remember those who were lost. Let's remember the unsung heroes who helped however they could. Let's pray that nothing like this ever happens again.

Genevieve

Mid Week Inspiration

No matter what others may say about you know this: Always be yourself and let no one put you down.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Be who you are. Let no one define who you are. Be happy about

who you are.

Is It Jealousy? Part 2

When it was revealed to me that I was a crossdresser I had the choice to deny that I was one or embrace it. After several weeks of being in denial, I finally embraced who I was. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have been liberated, completed, and at peace.

I was now part of a group of people that I knew practically nothing about. Now I see that this was a part of God's plan for me. I love transgender people with all my heart. I am reaching out anyway I can and sharing that God loves us as we are.

Another area of my life that has changed is the way I study scripture. I mentioned in the last post that the bible has been used to discriminate against us. Certain scriptures are used to justify that discrimination. This erroneous assumption has made me study and delve into what scripture actually means. Factors such as the messenger, the people spoken to, and the religious and social climate are a few things that MUST be taken into consideration. Also with science, psychology, and archaeology, so much more is known about gender identity, genetics, hormones, etc.

It was once said that Christianity is a thinking person's religion, and it is. Blanket statements do not answer the complex questions people ask today. Scripture says nothing against transgenderism, homosexuality, and lesbianism. I know that you CAN be transgender and Christian. I have seen God's hand in the lives of gay, lesbian, bi, and queer people also.

I don't hate those who are against us. I just pray that those folks in these camps would acknowledge who they are and that God loves them that way. The self loathing will give way to real liberation and peace.

Genevieve

Is It Jealousy?

I red an article the other day about a 'pastor' who believes that gay and lesbian people should be killed. I'm pretty he feels the same about transgender folks, too. He's concerned about homosexuals recruiting children ( a big lie). As you have probably heard many transphobes are worried that we will attack their children if transgender people are allowed to use the bathroom according to their gender (another big lie).

I was thinking tonight and wonder if anti-lgbt groups are jealous of us? I have learned that the people who are the most vehement about denying us our rights (see Ted Haggard) are often struggling with the same issue. Why? Is it that we have chosen to live authenticly? Is it that we are making our presence felt in the political and social arenas? Is it that many of the myths many people have about transgender people are being broken down? Are they jealous that we will not hide or be ashamed anymore?

Jealousy can make people do irrational things. Sadly, many don't know why they hate us. Whenever one says the bible says it's wrong, I would ask 'show me'. I'm crazy like that I guess. The bible has been used to justified many things that are dead wrong. I'm a Christian who reads and studies scripture. One thing is consistent; God loves everyone no matter who they are. Any one who calls themseves 'Christians' and discriminates against a group of people need to examine their faith and if they are following Jesus' example.

To be continued.....

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

More than recognition, wealth, or influence, I just want to make a difference in someone's life.

Another Talk With Spouse

Last night I shared more things about being transgender with my wife. It was a conversation that was coming up because she sees me dressed much more often. I was telling her that many transgender folks have known they were this way as children. I mentioned again my feelings of being different throughout my life. She listened intently as she tried to understand what I was saying.

I also shared with her that I can be transgender and Christian. It's my prayer that transgender people will take into account their spiritual condition. I do enjoy having these discussions because it helps her to see what it is to be transgender.

Genevieve

Mid Week Inspiration

You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender - people are people.

~Judith Light

Peace In The Garden

Since declaring myself a transgenderist, I'm totally at peace with my identity. I have been in a comtemplative mood a few times also. I have returned to places that influenced me in my young adult days. My being transgender has made me more aware of even the simplest things. I'm not taking much for granted anymore.

In 1969, the greatest rock concert in history took place on an upstate New York farm. Woodstock is fondly remember by those who attended the rain soaked event on that August weekend. It was also a time when nearly 500,000 people from all over the world gathered together in peace, love, and fellowship. With the shortage of provisions and inadequate security there were only two deaths. People were in tune with the vibes and music of that glorious weekend.

You may be asking what this has to do with my being a transgenderist? I have found that garden of Eden in places which perhaps I took for granted. An empty church, a river side park and a courtyard have reminded me that I need to get away from all the noise and confusion. It has made a difference. There are many people weary from the cares of daily life. Transgender people are battered around with more venom because we choose to be who we are.

Remember to appreciate what you have. take time and reflect on how far you have. Never minimize anything that happens because there's a purpose in it. Take nothing for granted.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Whatever act, large or small, contributes to the transgender commuity in ways we may not think it does.

Memorial Service

Today I attended a memorial service in support of a friend who lost his partner. It was interesting in that family, friends, colleagues, and former students share their remembrances of Roger, a man who so affected their lives. I didn't know Roger personally but, after the service, I wish I had met him.

Some of Roger's experiences mirrored mine. There were two items that where on target. One, he had changed. Possibily Roger was coming to grips with his sexuality. Similarly, I came to grips with my gender identity which I have embraced.

The second was that while the world was changing, Roger remained the same caring, nuturing individual to his students. This man loved to teach. When health reasons forced Roger to resign I sensed that life for him wasn't the same.

Looking at it, I changed and yet I haven't changed. Yes, I'm living as a gender-variant individual. No, I keep reminiscing back to my young adulthood when the events that happened shaped me as a person. While some may be into the latest gadgets and fads, I still get much joy over absorbing the serenity in an empty church or a quiet walk in the park. Though I may attain many honors and achievements, I never want to lose the child like curiousity.

I desire to be a caring, loving, and nurturing person like Roger. I may not be hip or cool or fashionable but want to make a difference in people's lives. To me this is what life is about.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Encouragement is like a buoy; it can keep someone from being

swallowed up by despair and defeat.

Living an Open and Genuine Life

Reconciling my faith and gender identity was easy for me. I believed that God had created me this way. For many TGLB men and women this can be a torchorous ordeal. This past Tuesday a young man came to our bible study confused about how to be a Christian and live an authentic life as a gay person. Some of you may have been faced with this choice.

When I came out as transgender many of my ideas about gender and sexuality were turned upside down. I do believe that our sexuality and gender identity are inborn. I am a born again Chirstian who is transgender. When the bible is used to bash TGLB people I have to speak out. When anything is used to demean others I have to speak out.

We have every right to live our lives as anyone else. We have chosen to live our lives openly. I've chosen to be who I am regardless of what society thinks or says. I don't have to defend to anyone why I am the way I am. I have written a couple af articles about this very topic. One will be published in an online magazine next month. I'll let you know when it comes out.

Genevieve

Ken Zucker Discusses Reparative Therapy On Gender-Variant Children

When I read this article I was great disturbed. Zucker is also well received in the ex-gay movement. It's no telling how many lives have bee ruined by these so-called 'cures'. The link is posted below.

http://www.tsroadmap.com/info/kenneth-zucker.html

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I have been blessed most by folks who are nameless, lowly, or humble.

Crossdressing Sister Reminds Me of My First Time Out

I saw a crossdresser sister today as I came out of the Goodwill store. She was a tall black woman with long locks, large hands and easy gait. She wore a long green skirt and a shawl draped her shoulders.

Seeing her reminded me of my first time out in public as a crossdresser. Those were some tentative steps to liberation but thankfully I have journeyed on. Later on, I wonder if I should have spoken to her and encourage her to be herself. My heart was joyful in that she has chosen to express her true self.

Whenever I read about someone coming out or going out crossdressed in public for the first time, my heart is thrilled. I encourage them to be themselves and to embrace all that they can. Each one of us is on a journey. We will discover many aspects of our lives that we may have never known previously. In four years I have journeyed from CD/TG to TG/TS. I never dreamed that transsexuality would be a part of my core.

Thinking about it, I am becoming the person I was meant to be. I believe that ever since I let go of the reigns, I've embraced all the wonderful experiences waiting for me. I pray that my crossdressing sister will do the same.

Genevieve

Special RIghts

One of the operatives of anti-transgender groups is that we want 'special rights'. I have thought about this buzz word for a while. I can speak from the perspective of a minority person because I'm sure this idea was in vogue when African Americans were struggling for equality.

Why is wanting life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness a 'special right'. Isn't this guaranteed by the Declaration of Independence? Or is it only for those who represent the 'ideals' of what society is suppose to be. Ideals are subjective and can be different from person to person. Whoever doesn't meet those ideals are shunned, ignored, or made to feel insignificant. Maybe that's why have many young women who are anorexic or bulimic; trying to attain an ideal that very few can.

I make it a habit of reading the constitution at least once a year. I read the bible every day. Every man, woman and child is precious in his sight and I feel the same way. At times, I wish I could stand in front of these bigots and tell them about themselves and their hypocritical logic. We just want to be treated equally. the next time someone squawks about 'special rights' I must respond. This is an argument we wouldn't be having if they did the right thing.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

There is no road that doesn't lead to somewhere. However, we may discover something we have never seen before.

Genevieve

LIFE'S CURVES

In baseball, it is known that if you can't hit the curve ball, you may have some difficulty hitting for a high average. When I made an aborted tryout in pro baseball, it was a curve ball from the pitcher that convinced me that my dream was over.

Another curve was throw my way when I discovered that I was a transgender person. I was confused, shocked, and afraid. I didn't know where this revelation would lead. Jesus' ministry threw curves at a rigid and staid religious hierarchy. He demonstrated another way where all people were accepted.

If would be easier if life moved in a linear pattern. Then the question comes up as to what do we do when our lives go off track? Does it mean we are going in the wrong direction? could it mean the loss of possessions? Could it be a change in our philosophy about life? Change is going to happen. It's how we handle those changes that come.

Never in my life did I imagine that being transgender would be part of the plan for my life. Curves can be a blessing if we can see the bigger picture. Perhaps there is something we need to experience and learn before we continue on our journey. Perhaps there is someone who needs to see that we are willing to embrace the changes that come and profit from it. I'm positive that many struggling folks have been blessed by others who are willing to live their lives openly.

In baseball, the batter needs patience and discipline in order to hit a curve ball. Overanxiousness will cause him to swing at a bad pitch. Changes need not cause anxiety but an opportunity to see what good thing may be in store for us.

Genevieve

Anniversary

Four years ago on this date I came out as transgender and a crossdresser. It was a liberating moment which ended the many years of inner turmoil I had about my worth. The last four years have seen much growth and change in me especially on the emotional side.

Each year has been different. The first year was invested in getting comfortable in my new identity. The second year saw me throw off the baggage society puts on transgender people's shoulders. The Third year was one getting to know other people in the TGLB communit and understanding the issues that are important to us.

This past year saw a major change in my life. I previously identified as a CD/TG. In June, I realized that I was more identified as TG/TS (somewhere between a crossdresser and transsexual). I feel very comfortable where I am now. Where will this journey lead next I don't know. However, as I did coming out I will embrace whatever life has in store for me.

I have never been happier in my life. Above all, I have met so many great people on this journey. I found a family I never knew I had and I'm so thankful.

Gennee

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

This happiness consisted of nothing else but the harmony of the few things around me with my own existence, a feeling of contentment and well-being that needed no changes and no intensification.

~Herman Hesse

Relaxing

I'm still on down time and assessing where things are. Though the pink fog isn't as thick as usual, it has been a good time to relax. I am a quiet and intense person who needs to step back a while.

I'm reading a couple of books now. One is a book of selected poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar. I'm doing a research project about his life and work. I read some of his poems a year or two ago. The second book is by John G. Stackhouse titled Finally Feminist. I'm taking some notes because this book is very involved.

Genevieve

LIFE'S MANY ROADS

I have traveled along many roads.

Some were smooth and straight;

Others were crooked.

Some roads were winding and wooded;

Others were barren and empty.

Each road brought me somewhere

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

At every stage of our lives, God can use our talents to seve others.

~Raymond Bottom

This thought has blessed me throughout my life and continues to do so.

Your Life Counts

Yesterday, I read these words from a devotional : At every stage of our lives, God can use our talents to serve others (Raymond Bottom). I have long held the belief that each stage of our lives are to be cherished, developed and used to help others.

I have enjoyed every stage of my life. I enjoyed my childhood. I relished the teen years. I matured as a young adult. I enjoyed life as a single person. I love being married and a father. I came out as a transgender person in my fifties. It was only a few weeks ago that, at age sixty, I declared myself a transgenderist. Yes, each stage had its ups and downs but I wouldn't be the person that I am if I hadn't gone through them.

There may be someone reading this post who feels that their lives don't matter. The may feel that their contributions mean little. YES IT DOES! Ten years ago I stated in a tutorial education course that the best years of my life are ahead of me. I was fifty years old at the time. I still believe it now.

Maybe physical impairments due to aging don't allow you to do some things, but there are things you can do in spite of those impairments. I encourage you to keep seeking, keep dreaming, and never believe that you aren't important because you are.

Genevieve

Time OF Reflection

I have been in a reflective mood the past few weeks. Moving away from all the action, a place of rest has been prepared for me. I have been reading much about transgender happenings an achievements and struggles. Now I'm trying to see where I fit at this point in my life.

It seems that many great men and women are people of reflection. They assess, reassess, discuss, make changes, and carry on. They aren't married to one particular way of achieving their goals. I beleive folks who reflect are better able to see the whole picture.

When I started on my journey as a crossdresser and transgender person, I've always felt a special kinship with transsexuals. Now that I've moved much closer to this identity I better understand some of the events that happen in their lives. I remember when I attended a support group meeting a few years ago. I came out as a crossdresser to the group. After the meeting a transsexual woman asked me if I was going to transition. I told her no. Then she said 'you never know'. Reflecting on those words she was right. I have transitioned!

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Reflection is a time to see how much we're blessed and far we have traveled on our journey.

July My Month of Independence

America finished with the 4th of July festivities a few days ago. Four years I celebrated my independence by caming out as transgender and a crossdresser. I am a transgenderist today (TG/TS). It was one of the most liberating events of my life. I will share my testimony of my coming on the 26th.

TGLB folks are working to secure their independence from oppression, discrimination, and fear. Much has been accomplished, much more needs to be done. I have wondered why I came when I did (in my mid fifties)? I never had associated with the community up until I came out. In just the short time I have been out I have read, heard and seen how people's lives have been affected by destructive paradigms and laws. This has to change.

I am out in public constantly because I hope to educate the public that we exist. I refuse to be a victim because I have the same right to be myself as anybody else. It's amazing what happens when you decide to take a stand. Every crossroad I walked on has taken me to new horizons. This journey has revealed strengths inside of me I never knew were in me.

As I continue the trek, I will encounter new experiences. I welcome any thing that comes my way. If it will help someone else in their journey, then it's worth it.

Genevieve

The Jordan Crossing

Like the person in the photo, I am wondering what new lands will beckons. This isn't about new continents or oceans but another place in my journey. Just like the early explorers, I don't know what I will discover. There's excitement, expectation, and anticipation.

What I find is the absense of fear. This journey was laid out for me long before I was born. Friends and family can support you but there come a time when you have to go by yourself.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I don't need to go around defending who I am. God made no mistake creating me the way I am.

Stepping Back

With the pride parade here in New York history, I imagine that some people are experiencing a bit of a letdown. April, May, and June were months of discovery and decisions for me personally. I having a down period at present. Haven't had one in a while. I do welcome it because it allows me to take a couple of steps back.

I've always been a person of introspection. I never was one to make fast decisions but when I make up my mind to do something I follow through. At times, I wonder where this journey will lead me? I've traveled farther than I could have imagined. Now, I'm taking the time to assess where I want to go next.

I will share my story on July 25th or 26th on the 4th anniversary of my coming out. Quite possibly I will may have crossed another road by then. To me, this is what pride is: being able to see how far we've come and where we need to go.

Genevieve

Sense Of Belonging

Today I was in the East Village strolling through the neighborhood. I purchased a beverage at a corner grocery store. The SA said "thank you, Ma'am" after the purchase. The more I reflect on the years I have been coming here the more I wonder if really belong here.

My desire to dress more is stronger than ever. My spouse said to me this morning that I would rather dress as a woman than as a man. She is right in her assessment. I do have to keep her in mind because I'm committed to our marriage. It may be the time to talk with her again about some changes that have happened to me in recent weeks. I consider myself to be a transgenderist. I am somewhere between a crossdresser and a transsexual. This is more my state of mind rather than the idea of adding another label to myself. Labels don't define me and I don't really believe they are accurate all the time.

I amazed that the more I discover about others, the more it relates to me. I have embraced my being transgender, therefore, it seems that I have embraced LGBTQQI people as a whole. I feel closer to them than I do my own family at times. I often feel a kinship to folks who are seem to be on the perifery of so called normal society. Perhaps it's because I am an outsider, too.

Many people who have enriched my life have been people who are labeled to be 'different'. I think it's that they are being who they really are. Liberation can free folks from the chains of society's emotional and social oppression. Coming out did that for me. Now I desire to encourage others that they don't have to let others bind them with their negativity and disapproval.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Acknowledging each person's uniqueness is one step toward respect for our fellow citizen.

Being a Father and Husband

Being a father is one of the greatest responsibilities in society. Fathers mold their sons and daughters to be responsible and productive citizens. Fathers should treat theirs spouses with love and respect. I'm a transgender person who takes this responsibility seriously.

When I discovered that I was a crossdresser and transgender, I wondered how this would affect my family. I've never wanted a lot of things but a good marriage was certainly one. I was also conscious of how this wold affect my relationship with my son. Whether or not I wore women's clothing I was still his father.

Everything has worked out quite well. My wife was shocked when I came out to her. In time she has come to accept my transgenderism. I told my son a year later and he was cool with it. He wondered why I didn't tell him sooner. I'm still the same husband and father I was before declaring my transness. I feel that I'm a better father since I came out because I am complete and liberated.

To all the fatehrs out there, HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I love you for being you.

Brooklyn Pride

This past Saturday, I attended Brooklyn Pride for the third year in a row. It was the first time I was dressed. I wore a black skirt, aqua blue v-neck pullover, and blue flats. The day was somewhat overcast.

When I arrived there were some protesters across the street. Apparently they didn't like the idea of GLBT pride in the neighborhood. This is the first time that I saw them. I strolled along the street, stopping intermitently. There was a 'marriage equality' booth, a couple of anti-violence groups, and a number of churches represented. I remember two years ago there were only two churches represented. This time there were at least a half dozen churches, a synagogue, and a Muslim group.

I picked up some materials to read. Brooklyn is the only borough (there are 5 in New York City) that does not have an LGBT center. I registered with a group looking to secure a building. I may volunteer if the opportunity comes up. I met a friend from my bible fellowship group. Tom and I were supposed to meet later on but we never did locate each other.

There's ususally a motorcycle parade in the evening but I did not attend. So far as I noticed I was the only crossdresser there. The event is usually six blocks. I do believe that there is room for growth. Brooklyn has over 4 million people and I believe that there are many LGBTQI people in Brooklyn who can use a place to be themselves.

I stayed 2 or 3 hours before heading home. Right now, there are some ideas rumbling through my head. I need to right them down so I can figure out my next move. The desire to support GLBT causes burns within me.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

It's a beautiful thing when someone decides to be their true self.

Transgenderist

Last year, I was considering the possibility that I may be a transgenderist. I would define me as somewhere between a crossdresser and transsexual. I don't want to transition or take hormones. I have been dressing more and more. I would live full time as a woman but my marriage is more important.

I am equally comfortable in both genders, but I prefer the feminine. I am complete and liberated when I'm dressed. Also I don't feel constricted by what society says that I'm supposed to be. There are days I feel neither male or female. There are days that I feel that I'm both. I realized that I have crossed another threshold in my journey, something that two years ago I believed would happen.

It is said that life doesn't stand still. My journey hasn't either. I have discovered so much beauty and contentment and adventure. There are many, many genders that thankfully are being explored and embraced. I'm still discovering more about myself and exploring the many expressions of gender. What society thinks about me doesn't matter.

Gennee

Comfirmation of Contentment

I posted a blog on June 4th about my being comfortable in a noisy area. Society is like that noisy lobby. Instead of folks like myself, there are all different kinds of folks on the street, on the train or bus, in the stores, at the hospital or church. Still I feel just as comfortable as in any other place.

I played football in my younger days. One of the cliches I heard was letting the game slow down for me. Another way to put it was letting the game come to me I would often react to all the franatic activity on around me. I had to remember the patterns to run, or the blocking schemes, or adjust quickly to a sudden change in strategy. As I gained more experience, the game slowed down in my mind and I was able to perform my assignments efficiently.

I remember early when I went out in public how apprehensive and hurried I was. I wouldn't look anyone in the eye. I would speak in barely audible tones. Nowadays, I browse casually through stores. I have dined in restaurants, shopped and attended church while dressed. The gait is relaxed and confident. I look folks in the eye now. Some have smiled back at me.

I said in the earlier post that it wasn't a surreal moment for me and I still don't beleive that it was. Possibly what happened in that noisy lobby was the comfirmation of the contentment I feel inside. It's a wonderful feeling indeed.

Genevieve

Reading, Writing, and Films

I have been busy reading articles, writing and reading, attending movies, and other things. I am reading articles in which I will comment and post in the near future. I'm putting the finishing touches on my speaking engagement on June 23rd.

I am writing an article for an online magazine I write for. It will be posted in July so I'll let you know when it comes out. I am reading Jennifer Boylan 's book She's Not There. It's the story of her transition from male to female. It's a good read and I found some of her experiences related to me personally.

The NewFest Film Festival here in New York is in full swing. I saw a documentary last Friday called Gramercy Stories. It takes a look at a residence in Gramercy Park that provides a safe home for gay and transgender teenagers. A fine film. Tomorrow, I'm viewing a film about transmen. I'll give a report on it tomorrow or the next day.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Whichever road I choose to tred, life will be altered if not changed. I must trek the trail that must travel.

Contentment With Ourselves

Last night I attended the annual Trasgeder Health Fair here in New York City. It was very successful with near 40 organizations participating and 375 people visiting.

Later on, I was sitting on a bench in the lobby. The area was filling up as people were waiting for meeting places to become available. While I sat there, I observed the many expressions of gender in my midst. Genderqueer, butch, crossdressers, transwomen and transmen. I was so comfortable in this setting. There was not an ounce of tension or distress in my being. I wouldn't call it surreal but it revealed what I actually felt inside. It's more like this each day.

When I came out as transgender four years ago, I needed to get used to living and being around my new family. There was apprehension, struggles, and missteps. There was also the belief that I was among people who comfortable with who they are. This made the greatest impression upon me. I remember the warm August day in 2006 when the overwhelming feeling of contentment in my own skin flowed through me. It was the same feeling I experienced last night.

One of my joys is to see people be comfortable with who they are. Society does its best to brow beat s into submission. We have the right to be ourselves. This is what I share with others.

Genevieve

Buzzwords and Gobblty Gook, Part 3

Of all the things that galls me, it is when people use the bible to justify their bigotry and prejudice. It was used to justify slavery, oppressing women, Native Americans and other groups. Transgener and GLB people are the lastest group. I'm a transgender person and my enemies call me a pervert. They call gay and lesbian people pedophiles. All I hear is that the bible is against homosexuality and transgenderism. Telling us that God hates us is the height of bigotry, in my opinion.

I am a Christian and transgender person whom God loves. God love gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender persons unconditionally. Anybody who tells you different is a liar. If you ask our opponents about where it says that God hates us, they'll probably spiel some testosterone-fueled rhetoric about us being an abomination. Wel, they are an abomination in God's sight who defame his word and his name.

God made us the way we are. We don't have to be ashamed of the way he created us. The day I came out as a crossdressser and transgender person was the day I was liberated and completed. I have never been happier in my life!

The past three posts are a departure from what I normally write. I just can't stand around and listen to bigots degrade us. I just hop that I educated a few people. I jst love the TGLB community so much. It took me nearly 57 years to find the family I never knew I had. I will be always grateful that I did.

Buzzwords and Gobblty Gook, Part2

Yesterday, I mentioned a couple of buzzwords used by or adversaries to justify discrimination against TLGB people.

Procreation is another item used against us. Same-sex marriage is denied to gay and lesbian couples because in the eyes of the adversaries, they cannot reproduce. Well, there are millions of heterosexual couples who for various reasons cannot procreate either of which my spouse is one. To me this argument doesn't hold water. Transgender people are denied the right to marry in some instances. Recently in Tennessee the marriage of a trans couple was nullified.

If the opposition was so interested in procreation, let them explain all the runaways and children in foster care and orphanages. There are states where gay and lesbian couples cannot adopt. It's said that a child needs a mother and a father. From the experience of having adopted a child, children want a place where they are loved and accepted. Their parents can be transgender, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

As I see it, maintaining the status quo is more important to the opponents and the well being of people. How many TGLB people have been killed or committed suicide because of the desire to maintain an 'ideal' which most people cannot possibly fit? Just thinking about it makes me sad and angry.

Genevieve

................to be continued