GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Progressive people are able to acknowledge and learn

from their mistakes, then move forward.

I was laid off from my job last Friday. I will get severance pay plus my last check. I expected it because there is no work. It was time for me to move on. I am applying for unemployment benefits. I start classes on Wednesday and I am able to take some courses in the daytime. The time off allows me to do some of the things that I really want to do.

I know that there's a job out there for me in God's time. I'm not stressed at all. I was unemployed once before twelve years ago and God saw us through. He willdo so once again.

I have been doing much writing and reading about a number of subjects. Presently, I'm reading about the Christian mystics and how they sought to be in tune with God. I am also reading much about transgender issues and how I can best serve the community. I see a parallell between what the Christian mystics were seeking and what transgender and gender variant people go through. I'm certainly not comparing our situation to these wonderful, blessed men and women, but the parallel is there. They were misunderstood, hated by the authorities for the most part (particularly in the Dark Ages), and the victims of society's mission to control what a person is suppose to be. Somewhere there is something bubbling within me that will come out on the written page.

I will have the opportunity to be with the family, and explore my gender expression in greater depth. There's something about to happen there pretty soon.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

It's not how long we live, it's what we accomplish while living.

As you can see writing is one of my passions. Lately I have been writing more from observation and personal experience. I have been sharing more about myself experience as a transgender in depth. Granted I don't have much experience or background as a transgender but there have certainly been numerous emotional changes which I'm sure many transgenders have experienced.

I am a latecomer to transgender and I'm sure there are many others who've had experiences similar to mine. I find that this journey is continual and far reaching. It touches everthing about us; our emotions, families, sense of being, and how we perceive ourselves,how greater society view us, and how we are to live our lives.

I look at life and see all the possibilities we all have. As transgender and gender variant people we offer much to society with our talents, skills, and unique perspectives about life. Life is more than living in some neat compartment because as we know it is not that way at all. To tell you the truth, I'm happy it's not that way at all.

Part of creative living is being willing and able to take risks. To take a chance on something or someone few think is worth the effort. Out of such efforts have sprung the Martin Luther Kings, Henry Fords, Jesus, Joan of Arcs, and others who saw beyond where they were living. That's the kind of life I desire to live.

I have been doing some writing over the past several days. I am a member of different forums on the internet. There is a very wide range of opinions and experiences about being transgender. Some is good, some not so good, and others the struggle to understand what they are going through. The best thing that I can do is try and understand and share in their triumphs and trials.

I never experienced some of the things that many have. Abuse, bigotry, being shamed and disparaged for being who I am and yet I am transgender. I never struggled with gender nor had the desire to crossdress but I am a crossdresser. I haven't been hurt, or disparaged, or in the wrong body, and yet I am a member of the transgender umbrella. Life has many twists and turns. It's what we do then those unexpected changes happen.

I don't regret anything that has happened. I embrace it. There are so many ways to minister to my transgender sisters and brothers. I'm concerned with their spiritual lives. Many have been hurt and need inner healing. They need to know that God loves them and cares what happens to them.

I was reading Saint Paul's epistle to the Corinthians how he became one of them in order to win them to Jesus. He didn't partake in a lot of their activities but he became part of them. In a sense that may be my mission; to win some over to Christ. I pray that many will be drawn to Jesus' healing and saving grace and mercy.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

We are not second-class citizens! We are created by God, beautifully and wonderfully made.

Today's another lovely day. With each passing day the thought of being able to express both sides of me is exhilerating and liberating.

Lately, I have been wondering that in the future I would like to live at least part time as a woman. I have mentioned this in the past, but now this is something that I'm seriously considering. I would love to live full time but I have family obligations. No, I'm not going to transition but being a transvestite is something I believe is inheritant in my nature now.

My wife and I celebrated our birthdays this past Saturday (Aug. 4th). The same day! We went out to dinner and enjoy a luscous meal of onions, chicken, yellow rice, steak, and ribs. We washed it down with pina coladas (non-alcoholic). I gave Louise a couple of pullovers (pink, white). She gave me a journal which I love. She knows I love to write.

I finished reading a book called Coming Out In Christianity. There is much debate on whether the Christian should embrace LGBT people in their congregations and pastorates. I have my thoughts on the subject which I will write about in another blog. It's has been running through my brain the past few days.

I didn't dress at all last week (too hot nad very humid). I did get to do it indoors though. There's plenty of sales going on and I hope to take advantage of them.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

You must love and accept yourself first before you expect others to love and accept you.

It's a beautiful day. A lot less humid. Enjoying writing and reading about crossdressing and transgender issues. I see myself being even more involved in the future. I also see myself making some life style changes though, at this point, I dont know what they will be.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

There comes a time when you have to stand up for what you believe.
Never let anybody put back in the closet you worked so hard to come
out of.

The past few days have been busy. I working on starting a business. Jewelry will be the specialty. I sold much of it when I was a street vender. I gained valuable knowledge about jewelry from other vendors and from Home Shopping Network.

I dressed this past Saturday and Sunday. I will be out again on Saturday perhaps. I will dress again when I attend my bible study group fellowship in August. I have been daring and want to be out more to people.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Three advanages of being a CD:

1. My spouse and I can share clothing.

2. Can be a male in the morning and a female in the evening.

3. I can go about the city without any one knowing who I am.

Who figured that I would be a part of the transgender and and crossdressing communities? If some one had told me that three years ago, I would have told them no way. Now that I am transgender and a transvestite, it has been a journey.

My idea about sexuality and gender has been affected to the point that I am willing to do some suffering for some of the causes involved. I have also come to love people that society would rather do away with. While I have not gone through some of the things that many have suffered, I feel that I am kin to those who have.

If those who know me found out about my transgender/transvestite status, it would draw shock, awe, and maybe some disappointment. That's because it's not becoming of me. I'm as straight arrow as one can be. Inside of me I have always had a quirky side to me. Other may ask 'Why are you hanging around with these people?' It's because I love them and care what happens to them.

Was this in the plan for my life? Why was it so late in my life? I don't know but whatever it is, I want to help make the lives of other better. One cannot put a price tag on seeing another trans brother or sister progress in their lives.

I have been trying to write some stories about transgenders. Have a few ideas but nothing to sink my teeth in yet. I'm writing for an online magazine fromm the perspective of a transgender and transvestite. I don't minimize the problems TGs face but I also believe that being positive goes a long way to living a productive and happy life.

I have bee thinking of adding some new things to the blog. Pictures, articles, etc. Just in the initial stages right now.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I CAN CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR SEVERAL TIMES
IN THE SAME DAY

The Christian LGBT fellowship met last evening. Had four new people come. One was a new in town from Spain. A young woman named Claudia came for the first time. They found out about the group over the internet. If you wish to know more about the fellowship, the website is www.epistle.us. After singing and intros, we prayed for needs and requests.There is much to pray for, especially for the poor, immigrants, the culture of war, and the next Presidential election.


TONIGHT

GENDER DROP-IN: Feminine Spectrum
@LGBT Center
208 West 13 Street 7:30PM
Those would identify as transsexual, cross dresser gender queer, trans-femme, trans-women, trans-female, drag queen, femme queen, exploring, and other gender variant folks are welcome.

I was out and about on Friday evening. I was wearing a pink pullover, blue skirt, and flats. The longer that I was out the more comfortable I got. This was the most comfortable that I have felt being out. I just through caution to the wind and just enjoyed myself. Just another girl out for a stroll on a July evening.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Maybe blue is for boys and pink is for girls,

but I wear both colors .

Independence Day is tomorrow. Everybody enjoy your day. Also take pause to think about our servicemen and women serving overseas and the sacrifices they are making to keep us free.

There have been numerous gains in the transgender community. A number of states have incorporated gender expression in their hate crime laws. The LGBT center here in New York held its first annual Trans Health Fair last month. Yes, there have been gains but more work lies ahead.

I have achieved some of the goals I set at the beginning of the year. I have attended some TG events, gotten more involved with the community, and improved my make up work. I wasn't able to attend the New York City pride march, so that's one I did not accomplish. Maybe next year.