GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Just because something has never been achieved does not mean that it cannot.

Remembering Our History

My own personal theme for this pride month is to remember those who came before us. After reading the stories of the many of the pioneers of transgender and gay movements, I am heartened by their steadfastness, courage, and determination. Three people who really inspire me are Miss Major, Marsha P. Johnson, and Sylvia Rivera. 
I am presently making up a portfolio of their lives because I hope to share it with members of my church. 


I recently read about Dewey Lunch Counter Sit In of 1965. African American transgender people spoke out and prevailed a full four years before the Stonewall event in New York and a year before the Compton Cafeteria Riot in San Francisco.  To say that we have no history is tantamount to saying that we never existed. This I will NOT take lying down.


As we celebrate our pride, take time to think of those who stood up in the face of hate, violence, and suffering and said Enough! 

Touched By Angels

      I attended two memorial services this weekend. On Saturday we celebrated the life of

my friend, Bruce Gerig, a man who came into my life shortly after I came out. He made me feel welcome when I first came to the bible studies at the community center. He was generous, bigger than life, knowledgeable about many subjects, and had an infectious laugh that warmed up a room. What I remember most about Bruce was how comfortable he was with himself as a gay man. It helped me to be comfortable with myself as a transgender person.

     On Sunday I attended a second memorial for a woman affectionately known as “Rookie”. I never met or knew her but I felt that I did. She was helpful and used what talents she had to the utmost. Rookie had been a greeter in church. I remarked to someone that I believe that Rookie paved the way for my wife and me when we arrived last fall. We felt welcome and comfortable.

     I am reminded that life is full of seasons. Seasons gradually come, stay awhile, and then gradually leave. Seasons can last moments or years. People come into our lives at particular times. Our lives can be seasons for other folks. We may never realize the affect they have or the impressions we make but it does happen.

     Bruce demonstrated warmth and realness. He demonstrated to me that I should be comfortable with myself. Rookie encourages me to use whatever talent I have to the fullest. These two wonderful people touched lives in ways that we will always cherish.

Bruce, Rookie, thank you for coming into and enriching our lives.  

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Being authentic takes courage.

Coming Out As Gennee In My House Of Faith

This month has been blessed and my spouse has been a part of it. I mentioned a couple of posts back that she attended service with me when I was Gennee. We have gone three times since.

Last Friday, we attended a gathering where other churches in our denomination came to our place. It was wonderful chatting with other LGBTQ folks about our experiences and lives. This past Sunday it was service and honoring the graduates. On Monday we went to film viewing in which the director of child ministry, his wife, and son were in. the DVD is called 'An Ordinary Family'. I'm going to purchase the DVD. I recommend it to churches and schools because more of these institutions are dealing with this issue.

Some folk were asking my wife where I was because we are usually together. She just pointed to me. They were so surprised! They didn't recognize me. I received a number of compliments, also. I was accepted and embraced by them. It has been a wonderful time for us.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Either everybody is equal or nobody is equal.

Wife Attended Church With Me

Yesterday, a milestone was achieved. My spouse and I went to our place of worship with me dressed as Gennee. I was very calm and relaxed. as we entered the church. We attended the adult education class where a few people didn't recognize me until I told them. They were so surpirised. Once again Louise revealed that she has accepted in my transgender identity.
Sunday was also the beginning of our new LGBTQI ministry. After service there was a luncheon to kick the event off. I received a number of compliments from other worshipers. This was something that I hoped and prayed for-to attend church with my wife as Gennee. Another Milestone was reached as I strolled with Louise through my neighborhood. Louise would never go with me when I was dressed but she did on Sunday. I'm so thrilled and look forward to doing more things as Gennee.

Conference on homeless LGBT youth.

Yesterday my wife and I attended a conference centered on improved services for homeless LGBT youth. Here in New York City there are around 4000 homeless LGBT youth but only 250 bed available. Much of the participants were churches, synagogues, and others in the religious comunities. I met one woman who ministers to predominantly LBGT people.

I am pleased that places of worship are taking up the struggle for homeless youth. My wife and I, along with another woman represented our place of worship. 

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Don't find fault, find a remedy.

                             ~Henry Ford

We Are Like Flowers

This past Saturday my wife and I were planting flowers in the church's garden. There were many colors; reds, yellow carnation, white and purple. When they were planted, we admired them. When they were watered, the flowers seem to come alive with vitality.

I see those of us who are gender variant and transgender as flowers. We are a part of the wonderful landscape. Many have tried to burrow us under the soil but we keep springing up. We are are as much of God's creation as anyone else. Letting our beauty shine forth adds much to life's tapestry. Let's not hide it under a bushel basket but let our lives shine from the hilltops and mountains.

Did Mom Forsee?

I trust that everyone's Mother's Day was good. It's great that all mothers are honored.

I lost my mom in 2001 but her influence upon me is still felt. We thought a lot alike, shared our sense of fashion, and could sense when something was not right. Recently, my wife revealed to me a conversation that she had with my mom. Mom shared with her that I like to wear pink. My brother and my son don't.  I didn't think much about it until I remembered that at the same time I began to struggle with my gender issues. Now I wonder if mom had an inkling of what I was to face a few years later? That I like to wear pink seemed immaterial to me until the gender angle entered in.

It's said that it's that moms know how their children are no matter how far away from home they are
I wonder if mom knew that I would become 'Gennee'?

Wife's Acceptance

Last Thursday evening my wife accepted me as a transgender person. It happened at a meeting at church. We are part of a task force that is creating and LGBTQI ministry which will kick off in June. Each person shared the their story and reasons for being there. When it was Louise's turn she shared her acceptance of me as a transgender woman. I was thrilled to say the least. It was also something that I prayed for. The following night I revealed my feminine name to her. I sensed that she was ready and my hunch proved to be correct. Louise read an article that I had written for an online magazine. She liked the article very much. Her acceptance means so much. There are some things that we are still working on but the future looks bright. My group of friends want to meet her. Louise has some trepidations right now but in time she will be ready. I'm so thankful and rejoicing.

Proceeding Ahead

Last night as lie in bed, I thought about how far my journey has taken me. I have gone much farther than I anticipated, not that I had any control over it. It dawned on me that there is still more in the way of experiences, discoveries, and changes that will be made in my life. Referring to the last comment, I see this as part my being authentic. It's stange that the world tends to shun and ignore authentic people and yet they want some one who is real. The separating point, I believe, is that if folks are willing to make changes necessary to have a meaningful life. It can relate to improved diet, lifestyle, gender identity, education, belief systems, ideologies, or a myriad of many things. Yes, it's a sacrifice and it may cost something. I see it as giving one thing up in exchange for something else. People are much more perceptive about life than they are given credit for. It can be positive or negative. Up to this point the changes made in my life has affected my spouse's percepton of me. She still loves me but is still trying to grasp my gender variance. I'm affecting three genderations; mine, my son, and my grand child. There will be more changes in store for me, some far ranging than in previous times. I have concluded to I want to be authentic. I want to make an impact in the lives of others. I desire to speak out in the face of overwhelming odds. Crazy? Maybe. I have no ther recourse. I can't turn back. I must proceed ahead.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Don't let your ideologies and beliefs stop you from doing what is right.

Book Opens Up Discussion

I am presently reading Peggy Rudd's book My Husband Wears My Clothes. My spouse is reading it also. I have also been thoughful of my spouse's feelings about my dressing. The book reminds me that others are affected by what I do. Conversely, her attitude towards crossdressing and transgender affect the both of us.

She is asking quesions again which I always welcome. I feel this time the questioning will go deeper than in previous times. She's still trying to wrap her mind around a male wearing women's clothing. What I like about Rudd's book is that it takes crossdressing from the spouse's perspective. My spous revealed to me that when she found out that I crossdress she wished tha she would wake up one day and find the whole idea of it gone.

I remind her that I'm still trying to understand what being transgender is. When I came out to her seven years ago, the main thing I was concerned with was how this would affect our family and our marriage. Thus far it has been positive. We do a lot of things together and enjoy being wih each other. One woman at our church took notice of this.  

I said earlier this year that it would be a pivotal in ou lives. I seems to be heading in that direction. I've been out in public dressed almost every day for the past few weeks. I've felt much better about doing this and even a few folks on the sreet hae taken notice. I'm very upbeat about where all this is heading. 

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Change is such hard work.



Billy Crystal

Seven Years

I have been out for nearly seven years now. There have been many improvements and changes. Protections for GLBT persons are law in many counties, towns, states, and countries. There is also more backlashes because we dare to make our voices heard. Transgender Day of Remembrance reminds me that we’re still in a fight.



What is encouraging is that more people are seeing through the labyrinth of lies thrown up by our enemies. I am seeing cracks in the armor of seemingly impenetrable social institutions because people are being educated about gender and sexuality. The church is one such institution. I am part of a task force that forming a ministry for LGBTQI persons. I’m very happy about this because I’m involved with the church. No longer can churches ignore part of their congregations because we are everywhere. One of my desires is share my story and educate the church about what it is to be transgender.


On a personal level, I’m very comfortable with where I am at the present time. The gender has been fluid the past several days. I have been interacting with the public quite a bit. I enjoy speaking with others. Others hve taking notice because I’ve been sent emails and notes. I even have an admirer at the community center.


My spouse is still trying to understand my being transgender but she has made progress. I’m making new discoveries as I continue on this journey. I’m really happy about life.

Gender Is Fluid

My gender has been fluid the past few days. The weather has been warm so I'm out and about the city quite a bit. This past Saturday I wore a dress for the second time. I kept getting looks from folks everywhere. There were two men who took notice and remarked to each other. I was recently called ma'am by someone in my building.  

I spent time at the library, the community center, two bookstores, a park hung out in during the 60s and 70s, and a book fair. It has been much for me interacting with the public.This is a victory for me because at one time I was reticent about speaking. 

Last night, I discovered that I have an admirer. I was waiting for a friend at the community when this man came over and spoke with me I had seen and exchanged hellos with him in the past. He was fascinated with my hands. I have long sleek fingers. He complimented me on my attire. We spoke f or about ten minutes before he had to leave. Earlier in the day I received fou emails from gentlemen desiring a relationship. Basically all I did was change my avatar. I guess that got the ball rolling. 

I've had som moments of total contentment. Once again, I flirted with idea of transitioning.  my spouse has noticed more changes in me, most noticably about clothing. I talk quite a bit about all the pretty dresses and skirts in the stores. I'm still rather fluid so I expect more things to happen today.      

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.



~Sitting Bull, Lakotan Statesman