Moved In

I moved into my new place last Friday. I was pretty excited, as was my wife. Later on, my son saw our place and he liked it. We purchased some things for the place. We are deciding what colors to paint the rooms.

We walked around the neighborhood browsing in stores. We ate dinner out then returned home. I remember when this neighborhood was being destroyed by drugs. That was a decade or so ago. They have cleaned it up and now you have many ethnic groups living here. I really love the parks nearby as they are very peaceful.


~Genevieve

Moving

On Friday I will be moving to a new apartment. I will be living in Manhattan after 53 years in Brooklyn. I'm pretty excited and can't wait.


~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

You know, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender - people are people.

~Judith Light

Gender Questioning, Part 3

I knew now that I was a crossdresser. It was quite a shock to me. When I left the place, I was in a daze. Now what! I surmised that it was just a phase. All this would lessen in the passing days. Instead the desire to dress grew stronger. In lay language, I was in denial. I thought that my life was strange now, but I still had more things to discover.

To be continued.......


Genevieve

Gender Qestioning, Part 2

In the post from May 25th, I wrote about my beginning to question my gender. After trying on my spouse's skirt, my life was going in a dizzying upheaval. Everything I thought about gender and sexuality was being changed.

I sought some counseling because I was becoming concerned about about where this was heading. It was a not a road I never traveled, but a journey where nothing was familiar to me. I put off the counseling for two weeks (I chickened out). The struggle and tensions were becoming unbearable so I visited two counselors.

A man and a woman listened as I shared everything I was feeling. I left no stone unturned. I was asked some questions before the two convened with each other. After some minutes they emerged from the room that they were in. It was revealed to me that I was a crossdresser. This really took me for loop. I remember the man asking if I really enjoyed the experience. I replied yes. I now knew I liked wearing wome's clothing. This was only the beginning my coming to accept my new identity.

To be continued.......

~Genevieve

June- Pride and Reflection

June is pride month here in New York. There will be many parades, parties, and galas. There has been much progress over the last year. More needs to be done.

I'm being more reflective this year because there's still those who are still trying to figure it all out. I've had days this past year where new revelations were made in my own life.

The one constant out there is that there are LGBT people who need to be encouraged and affirmed. Reading about people who are struggling or coming out reaffirms my committment to participating in this endeavor. I would much rather help someone who's struggling than march in a parade.

As the month moves forward, let's remember the people who are struggling, lonely, and confused. Enjoy the successes but comfort those who may not feel any pride because of all the bigotry and discrimination.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I can take being ridiculed and laughed at. People who put down
others show their own insecurities.

Marriage Equality Led To Latest Dicussion

Last night my wife and I discussed my gender again. It was the most in depth conversation we've had about this. It started with a letter that I received from Empire State Pride Agenda needing donations for the fight for marriage equality and transgender anti-discrimination laws.

We talked about gay marriage, adoption, and other topics related to LGBT people. My spouse asked me about my own gender feelings. I shared with her about the gender shift closer to femininity I had last month. I shared that am a woman though I have a male body. For two hours I shared my thoughts and changes that have occurred in my life. I pointed out that I'm still the same person.

Afterwards, she said that she had a clearer idea about my being transgender. I welcome it when she does ask questions because I'm always open to these discussions. I believe that we will have a couple more discussions very soon.

~Genevieve

Gender Questioning Begins

About these time six years I was confronted with what would be a life changing event. I wanted to try on my wife clothing. I had never had any thoughts of doing such a thing. I personally thought it was wrong. At the time I didn't believe that men should be wearing women's clothing.

I wondered if I was weird or something. Many feelings of my own gender identity came up. I never questioned that I was male. It was a constant battle to squelch the thought, to no avail. Finally, I reasoned that if I just tried on a skirt the urge would go away. After a few more torturous days, I relented. I tried on my wife's skirt, then a blouse, a bra, and a dress. This event would set in motion the wheel that would change my life forever.

to be continued.......

~Genevieve

LGBT Legacy

Yesterday I browsed through the book at the library at the community center. There were thousands of books by and about LGBT folks. There was fiction, non-fiction, poetry, biographies, and anthologies just to start.

What caught my attention is the numerous contributions that LGBT people have made throughout history. We are making history now. Society on the other hands confines us to the fringes. Our emenies want to erase our existence.

I'm especially happy that transgender people are active in literature and I pray that more books by us will be written and published. I have written many poems about being transgender and I will be publishing a chapbook sometime this year.

Our legacy must not be erased! As a person of color this is most important because, sadly, even in the trans community, our accomplishments and desires are minimized. The more that I live openly as transgender the more important it is to be visible. Being stealth is not an option for me personally.

I want to be a part of the legacy that made a positive contribution to equality and to our history.

~Genevieve

Beliefs Systems

One area that I am fascinated in is what people believe. I like to know not only what a person believes but why they believe. It's a rea that is sometime overlooked or maybe not challenged. I am working on a study about belief systems. I will post here the thoughts and results of my findings.


~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Belief systems are not finite. Change is a necessary process in our growth.


~Gennee

Reminiscing

Over the past several days, I have thought about how far I've come in my journey. I gone a lot further than I ever thought I could. Just think, that six years ago it all started.

I'm a firm believer in that we are put in places for a reason. I ask myself why was my real gender hidden form me for so many years? There are many answers that I surmise but I am where I am where I am now.

From time to time between now and the end of July, I will be reminiscing my transition and how it has impact my life and those around me.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

THE DAY I CAME OUT AS TRANSGENDER WAS THE DAY I WAS SET FREE FROM SOCIETY'S EXPECTATIONS ABOUT GENDER NORMS.

~Genevieve

Active Both Personally and in the Community

I have been very busy getting my security and fire guard licenses. I have found a nice aprtment also. Things are looking up after a year of struggle.

I have been keeping up with transgender issues and there's much happening. A vote about birth certificates in Texas is coming up for vote. In Connecticut, HB 6599 is coming up for a vote also.

Being involved with the transgender community is near and dear to my heart. I will attending support group meetings because I want to meet more transgender people. It may be that my recent shift in my gender identity has given me impetous to reach out to others.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Being true to one self allows you to grow as a person.

A Shift in Identity

This past week I experienced a shift in my gender journey. I feel closer to my feminine identity than ever before. I've been out dressed three times this week. It's also the first time I felt some discontent being male. That's never happened to me before. I believe that my wife senses it as I mentioned in my last posting.

Yesterday after leaving the library I went to Goodwill and purchased a pink floral maxi skirt. My desire to live full time has increased. I'm not rushing into anything but I sense that my journey is taking another twist.

~Genevieve

Wife's Poem Spot On About My Gender Transformation

A few days ago my wife read a poem to me that she wrote. It was about my transformation from my being male to now being a transgender woman. She was definitely spot on in her assessment. When I asked her more about her feelings, she said that she can't do anything about it and that's a part of who I am.

I have to reassure her that I'm still the same person, but I just have a different mindset. I explained that it's always been in me and not something that I chose. I sense that she fears losing the male part of me but actually she isn't. I answer all her questions when she asks them. I also share more of my feelings when the need to do so arises. I never ever want to to put her in a position where she has to explain about my transgender identity. I'm open with her about this.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I look forward to the day when we all can be respected for who we are.


~Genevieve

A Wonderful Time

With the wave of transgender bills being debated , our presence is being made. Some of it has been very positive with transgender candidates being elected, transgender protections being enacted, and others seeing the plight that we face. There is the negative aspect also.
A transgender woman was attacked in Maryland and another transsexual woman was murdered in Baltimore several weeks ago.

I'm so glad to be living in a time when all of this happening before my eyes. In 1971, there were hardly any services for transgender people. During the eighties, we suffered from ignorance by the greater society and by some who felt that we should 'wait our turn' (we've been involved all along).

I am happy with the progress that we are making but am reminded that there's still a long way to go.