Preclude To My Life Today?

I used to hang out at places like this in the Times Square area back in the late 1960s and early 1970s. There were plenty of places like the above establishment where folks could have forbidden pleasures and fantasies fulfilled. Nowadays, there are only a handful of such places. 

At times I wonder if my interest was a preclude to where I am today. I was on the outside looking in never getting involved with a lot the activities but enjoyed the vibe. Here in America, sex and gender seem to be taboo subjects. Why? Perhaps, it may reveal aspects of our lives we are unwilling to acknowledge or admit. When I came out as a cross dresser I concluded that there was a lot more to me than I realized. When I discover my transgenderism it added more fuel to the fire.

What has helped me is that I embrace all that has happened thus far. Meeting and befriending folks of many genders and sexualities shows that I'm one of millions of like people. There's nothing wrong with me. This is who I am. I wonder if some of the people who frequented Show World and other such places were seeking answers to their questions and deep longings? How many died never finding what it was they were seeking or wishing to express?

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More To Discover

I have been reflecting on my early days as a crossdresser. Those were wonderful days of sensuality and self discovery. I have progressed to my current status (transgender) however I find myself wanting to explore even deeper. My interest in burlesque and drag has been rekindled. I considering taking a stab at either one.

My gender has been fluid and it is usually a sign that I am embarking on another journey. I welcome it quite frankly. That's what I love about gender; you never know what to expect next. There's seems to be a lot more to discover.

Tenth Anniversary This Coming Sunday

This coming Sunday, July 26th, will be the tenth anniversary of my coming out. It was such a liberating experience which has dramatically changed my life. 

There's so many places I could start. For one thing it ended the feeling of difference I had about myself, yet never knowing why I felt that way. It was on a day when home alone I decided to try on my spouse's skirt. I thought the urge would go away. Wow, was I wrong! The wheels were set in motion of which I couldn't stop. After some counseling and a period of denial, I came out to myself as a cross dresser. It was a few weeks later that realized my feelings ran much deeper. When did further research, I saw the word transgender for the first time. Right there it connected with me.

Today, I am a happy and content transgender woman. I've coming out to my immediate family and to my church congregation. That was truly a dream come true coming out to my spiritual family. I have met a group of people that I otherwise would have never come in contact with. 

I'm liberated and complete!

TDOR-It is Still Relevant

As you notice, I haven't posted here in several days. I wasn't feeling well, my sister was admitted into the hospital and found out that she had pneumonia. She home now and has a home aid to help out.

I did attend Transgender Day of Remembrance this past Wednesday. There were speakers, testimonies, and conversation. There were candles lit in remembrance of those we lost. I was moved by the testimony of a man who was taught many things by a transgender woman. The woman committed suicide. He paid his respects, thanking her for making a difference in his life. I hugged him before I went on. After the event, I saw him sitting on a bench in the hallway. I encouraged hi to stay strong. I told him that she will always be in his heart. 

I met a young cross dresser in the beginning stages of her transition. Elsie was happy to have come because she saw the many expressions of gender. I have been attending these events for the past eight years. Time has seen much progress but there's still a long way to go. It still hurts that so many are lost to violence and suicide. I said a few words encouraging every one to stay the course. People have taken notice that we mean business.