The past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. Memorial Day as one of conflcted feelings. Later in the week I read about the House of Representaives in Washington voted to deny trans people any kind of medical care.
I felt anger and conflict, two emotions I rarely show. The country is so divided. A leader should bring the nation together. From what I'm seeing now, It's anything but.
This is the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial Plaza in the financial district 8n New York City. I visit here a few times during the year. When I reading the quotes of people carved on the wall, I come away with conflicted feelings. Yesterday, those feelings were stronger than ever.
I was in the military (army) during the Vietnam conflict. I was state side during the time (1971-1974). The war was unpopular, and some folks took out their wrath against the men and women serving. I sat on the bench nearby struggling g with my own feelings. These soldiers were my contemporaries. Some of them never made it home.
Why do I have these feelings of conflict? I don't know, and I wasn't there. I will continue to visit the memorial. It's my own personal homage to the men and women who served during that time. I suppose I will always have this conflict. However, I will always remember their service and those who lost their lives.
MEMORIAL DAY MEMORIES
The military will be discharging all transgender personnel. Trans people will not be allowed to join the service either. As a veteran I am appalled by this order. To say that we are incapable of performing our duties is a lie.
The military will need to replace these spots. I'm m sure that some were in high security positions. The services have to maintain a particular quota. When gay and lesbian personnel were discharged, they needed to be replaced. Some of the replacements weren't the best or the brightest.
As a veteran who is transgender, I served with honor and distinction. So have many others. This order sends a chilling message to the trans men and women who want to serve our country.
Things will only improve when the people-all of us- say to authorities, 'I will hold you responsible.' We shall all be showing up at city council meetings, lighting up every community with activism and mobilization.
~Erin Brockovich
Earlier this evening I shared my life story at a community rally and press conference at Fort Washington Collegiate Church. The church is slated to close on June 30th. However the worshippers and the community are fighting against this.
Fort Washington is the poorest of the four collegiate churches. Despite obstacles we have been able to raise funds and get tenants to share our space. The will be a protest on May 20th to challenge the Collegiate board to change their mind.
FWCC has been a pillar in the community. Many folks have been helped. Lives have been saved. There is a community fridge, activities for young people, and a community garden. There have been concerts, a community Thanksgiving dinner annually, weddings and other activities. FWC. is an open AND affirming church.
I am attending May 20th protest. This is very important to me and the community. This reluctant activist not going to go down without a fight.
The past week has been one of mixed blessings. Confusion over the need to bash transgender folks. The powers that be blame us for the ills of society. Inam also feeling blessed about who I am and where I'm heading to. In spite of all the naysayers, I'm still marching on.
This journey is taking me to new places. Questions about gender, sexuality, and protest have give new meaning as to what it is to be different. I welcome these questions and know, down the line, they will be answered. Once I make a decision to do something, nothing will stop me from proceeding ahead. This is where I am right now.
I generally don't talk much about myself. Being out as a transperson is how I choose to speak. There may be someone who is watching me who may be struggling. I pray that they know they aren't alone.
We are constantly evolving. We are different now than we were a year ago. Age doesn't diminish the feelings we may have. It could be an attraction to another person much younger than we. It could be moving to another state or country. It could mean starting a new path.
I am a seeker. Whatever feeling I have at the present moment, I go with it, see where it will lead. Life is constantly moving forward. I cherish those moments that I'm in. New goals and challenges is what makes life worth living.
I write prose and poetry about several subjects: nature, life, spirituality, sexual feelings, love, and living. I have touched on my life as a transgender person. My life experiences have shaped me in becoming the person I am now.
Writing was the way I could express my feelings about transitioning. Now that I am a septugenarian, I understand how writing and transition are intertwined in my life. In my early years, writing kept me sane. Age has allowed me to reflect on my life as a trans person. I have no regrets about my transition or writing on subjects I never could fathom. I am breaking down new barriers in my own life.
Transgender people are now being targeted by the powerful. That will not stop me from writing and being authentic. Writing allows me to speak truth to power.
On Easter Sunday, Christians celebrate Christ' resurrection from the tomb. It symbolizes the death of the flesh and the life of the spirit.
I was thinking today about my own transformation. There was a battle going inside me. The old me was fighting to stay; the new life seeking the light of day. When I let the new life take over, it was a rebirth. Genevieve was out to the world. There would be a new way of living, of being.
This is what Jesus was telling people during his three years of ministry. There was another way. Many did not understand what he really was about. Many people today do not understand what being transgender is about.
I certainly am not comparing my gender transformation to that of Jesus' resurrection. What he did changed the course of human history. Perhaps my life can help someone who is struggling. It's a small sacrifice but worth it if a life is changed- or saved.
This Lent season has been one of trial, renewal, and recharge. Many folks wonder where our world is headed. The world in Jesus' time faced some of the same issues we do. Homelessness, poverty, corruption, alienation, a sense that our concerns don't matter to the powers that be.
It is up to us, the citizens to not only voice our concerns but also seek solutions. Jesus demonstrated that there is another way of living, of moving forward. We need to move differently. Christ spoke up to power, and we need to do the same.
