Attend Affirming Church

I attend an accepting church. My wife and I have become members as of yesterday. There were at least 3 gay couples and 5 or 6 lesbian couples. As far as I know I'm the only transgender person there. My wife and I feel comfortable and have made some friends.

I may speak with the pastor about my being transgender. I can honestly say that I feel comfortable about doing this. I'm also sensitive to my wife's feelings. She accepting of my dressing up to a point. Recently, for the first time, she walked beside me on the street while I was dressed. As you can small advances have made. I would make my day when I attend service dressed up.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happier

I am much happier as a transgender woman that I ever was as a man.I feel complete and liberated. I am comfortable with who I am what I have become. It keeps getting better.

I accept the fact that I'm different. Until I came out, I always felt that way but never knew why. I am part of humankind but present in a different way. My perspective about life is different, having experienced both ridicule and self doubt. I overlook both and now have a positive outlook.

Wife Notices Even More Of My Gender Transition

My wife has noticed more changes. Last Sunday while riding home, she commented that I cross my legs like a woman. A few days later she walked with me on the street for the first time when I was dressed. I'm wondering what other changes she's noticed?

I also entertained the possibility of transitioning. At this point I'm very sure that I won't but I have cogitated the idea. I never closed the door on transitioning but I have learned that many things in my journey have come to pass.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.

~Nelson Mandela

Tansgender Issues

I have been reading quite bit about transgnder issues. There's much happening on the local, county, and international scale. I will be posting some results and a comment at least once a week but hopefully twice.

2012 will be a pivotal year for all Americans, and for the LGBTQ community in particular. Most important we need to make sure that those who supposedly represent us follow our wishes and concerns. If they don't we must take them to task. We need to occupy our own movement.

I am happy with the progress we made and much more needs to be done.

Coming Out More Than One Time Event

Coming out is a very personal matter. It's telling the world that this is who I am. I am mindful that my coming out process came several weeks after discovering that I was a crossdresser. When I did accept myself all of the stress in my life dissipated.

It took over a week that I had gone over a divide that I never imagined that I would cross. I have concluded that coming out is not a one time event. It's happened to me a number of times. I proceeded from a crossdresser to transgenderist to transgender.

At the present time I am experiencing another shift in my identity, moving closer to identifying as fully feminine. This is after a long period of relative calm. What has helped is that I embrace whatever comes. The journey will be ongoing replete with discoveries and adventures.

I enjoy reading posts from folks who have or are just coming out and accepting their sexuality/gender identity. For me it has become easier. I have never tried to pin down what gender is; I just enjoy the ride.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.


~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet (1749-1832)

2012

A new year has arrived. I'm very excited about the possibilities of new and challenging adventures. I see a new year as working to improve ourselves and have an impact on the lives of others. This is my main goal for 2012. I'm still working on specific goals at this time. One of them is to have my first chapbook published.

Do you have any goals or activities or adventures planned for the year? I would love to hear from you and share it with us.

End OF Year Salutatons

Another year has come and gone. What has happened cannot be changed. We can only move forward. Let us be thankful for the good things that have happened in our lives. Let us learn from our trials and struggles and seek solutions.

2011 was a good year for me. I found a nice place to live. I started writing poetry in earnest and now read at open mics throughout the city. Above all, I'm able to reflect on my life and concluded that I'm blessed.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Seasons Greettings

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.


~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. (1841-1935)

A Light In The Sea of Darkness

I am a big fan of lighthouses. The one pictured above is about a mile from my home. It is the only remaining lighthouse in New York City. It was commissioned in 1921 along the Hudson River. When the George Washington Bridge was completed in 1931, the Little Red Lighthouse was decommissioned the following year. Today it is a landmark.
I'm sure that the light that beamed out on a dark, foggy night saved many a ship from a watery grave. Our lives as transgender people can be turbulent and troublesome at times. Confusion by others about us causes them to lash out at us without ever tring to know what we are about. Our own fears can hold us captive, which can result in self-loathing and ideation about suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, and numoerous other vices.
Then one day some thing or someone crosses out path which can steer us in the right direction. Like the light beam over a dark ocean, each event can help us see that we are not alone. We need not feel ashamed or guilty over who we are or how others perceive us.
The reason I wrote this post is that there may be somone who believes that they are alone and that no one understands. There ARE many of us who know what you are going through. Many of us have been there. During this holiday season just remember that there are people who do understand and care.

Contentment consist not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire.

~Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

Hospitality

This time of year is a lonely time for many people. Suicide, alcohol and drug abuse, and despair are high during this time of year. In the LGBTQI community this is doubly so. Many are estranged from family and community because of who they are.

I have been quite a bit of my mom this year. She passed in 2001 but the lessons she thought me remind me that hospitality and kindness are in great demand. She would invite someone she knew would be alone over to her home. Mom would relate to me that the individual was grateful and appreciative that someone thought of them.

Hospitality is a virtue that is sometimes lacking in today’s society. We can become so wrapped up in ourselves that we neglect folks who need companionship. For the past decade and a half, I have used this season as a time of reflection. It doesn’t matter to me whether or not I receive a gift. Being alive is a gift.

Let’s remember the neighbor who is lonely. Let’s give a gift to a child who may not have anything for Christmas. Visit someone in the hospital or hospice. It can make a difference in having a Merry Christmas or another empty day.

Shifting Again

I have been dressing up quite a bit the past couple of weeks. I desire to dress up more now. My spouse has noticed and she is somewhat bothered by it. She wrote a poem about my desire to be a woman rather than a man. I understand how she feels. She fears that she is losing the male person that she married. I tell her that I’m the same person.

I’m not really surprised by her response because I thought that this day would come. Things were quiet for a while. I sense that another shift is coming. I guess the holiday season may have triggered it because there have been more opportunities to dress. Just the other day I saw a transgender woman as I was crossing the street. I have been out dressed sparingly in my new digs but that will change as of now.

Another area of my life that I have considered is a permanent name change. This still a long way off but it sure seems closer than I imagined. There’s an organization that specializes in the area so I’ll need to look into this.

My brother wants me to spend a weekend at his home upstate. I’ve never told him about my being transgender. I honestly have no desire to. I wonder how I’ll fare while at his place. I’ll probably be little nuts because I can’t dress.


A lot is happening in my life at the moment as you can see. I’m sure that by the end of the year it will be sorted out.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

He who is contented is rich.

~Lao Tzu

Thankful

Hi! I hope that your Thangsgiving was wonderful. The weather was warm and mild. I'm thankful for many things. Waking up in the morning. A roof over my head. Most of all, I'm thankful for the many people who have touched my life.

I'm mindful of those who are less fortunate because last year at this time I lived in a shelter. I appreciate the little things that happen in life yet I'm looking to make a difference in other people's lives.

During this personal time of reflection, I am thankful for so much.

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

~Henry Van Dyke

HAPPY THANGSGIVING

Transgender DOR

Last night, I attended Transgender DOR ceremonies at the community center here. There were over 200 people present. A vigil was held where we all marched around the block. A few folks on the street asked what it was about.

There were speakers, words of encouragement , stories from the audience. I spoke for a couple of moments. I shared my story of transition and acceptance by family. I shared that I refuse to live in fear. I encouraged everyone to be themselves. I also read this poem that I wrote:
We are persecuted,
Yet we have perservered.
Our journey has been circuituous,
Yet we have always been.
Some have fallen,
Yet we are still standing.
My people, Arise!

I met a number folks afterwards. I shared my experiences with a lesbian couple who will be getting married. A gentleman hugged and thanked me for my testimony. This was the best TDOR event that I've been to. We paid homage to those who died this past year (221 trans people killed). It encourages me that we are moving forward. I'm happy that I participated.