GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I can take being ridiculed and laughed at. People who put down
others show their own insecurities.

Marriage Equality Led To Latest Dicussion

Last night my wife and I discussed my gender again. It was the most in depth conversation we've had about this. It started with a letter that I received from Empire State Pride Agenda needing donations for the fight for marriage equality and transgender anti-discrimination laws.

We talked about gay marriage, adoption, and other topics related to LGBT people. My spouse asked me about my own gender feelings. I shared with her about the gender shift closer to femininity I had last month. I shared that am a woman though I have a male body. For two hours I shared my thoughts and changes that have occurred in my life. I pointed out that I'm still the same person.

Afterwards, she said that she had a clearer idea about my being transgender. I welcome it when she does ask questions because I'm always open to these discussions. I believe that we will have a couple more discussions very soon.

~Genevieve

Gender Questioning Begins

About these time six years I was confronted with what would be a life changing event. I wanted to try on my wife clothing. I had never had any thoughts of doing such a thing. I personally thought it was wrong. At the time I didn't believe that men should be wearing women's clothing.

I wondered if I was weird or something. Many feelings of my own gender identity came up. I never questioned that I was male. It was a constant battle to squelch the thought, to no avail. Finally, I reasoned that if I just tried on a skirt the urge would go away. After a few more torturous days, I relented. I tried on my wife's skirt, then a blouse, a bra, and a dress. This event would set in motion the wheel that would change my life forever.

to be continued.......

~Genevieve

LGBT Legacy

Yesterday I browsed through the book at the library at the community center. There were thousands of books by and about LGBT folks. There was fiction, non-fiction, poetry, biographies, and anthologies just to start.

What caught my attention is the numerous contributions that LGBT people have made throughout history. We are making history now. Society on the other hands confines us to the fringes. Our emenies want to erase our existence.

I'm especially happy that transgender people are active in literature and I pray that more books by us will be written and published. I have written many poems about being transgender and I will be publishing a chapbook sometime this year.

Our legacy must not be erased! As a person of color this is most important because, sadly, even in the trans community, our accomplishments and desires are minimized. The more that I live openly as transgender the more important it is to be visible. Being stealth is not an option for me personally.

I want to be a part of the legacy that made a positive contribution to equality and to our history.

~Genevieve

Beliefs Systems

One area that I am fascinated in is what people believe. I like to know not only what a person believes but why they believe. It's a rea that is sometime overlooked or maybe not challenged. I am working on a study about belief systems. I will post here the thoughts and results of my findings.


~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Belief systems are not finite. Change is a necessary process in our growth.


~Gennee

Reminiscing

Over the past several days, I have thought about how far I've come in my journey. I gone a lot further than I ever thought I could. Just think, that six years ago it all started.

I'm a firm believer in that we are put in places for a reason. I ask myself why was my real gender hidden form me for so many years? There are many answers that I surmise but I am where I am where I am now.

From time to time between now and the end of July, I will be reminiscing my transition and how it has impact my life and those around me.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

THE DAY I CAME OUT AS TRANSGENDER WAS THE DAY I WAS SET FREE FROM SOCIETY'S EXPECTATIONS ABOUT GENDER NORMS.

~Genevieve

Active Both Personally and in the Community

I have been very busy getting my security and fire guard licenses. I have found a nice aprtment also. Things are looking up after a year of struggle.

I have been keeping up with transgender issues and there's much happening. A vote about birth certificates in Texas is coming up for vote. In Connecticut, HB 6599 is coming up for a vote also.

Being involved with the transgender community is near and dear to my heart. I will attending support group meetings because I want to meet more transgender people. It may be that my recent shift in my gender identity has given me impetous to reach out to others.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Being true to one self allows you to grow as a person.

A Shift in Identity

This past week I experienced a shift in my gender journey. I feel closer to my feminine identity than ever before. I've been out dressed three times this week. It's also the first time I felt some discontent being male. That's never happened to me before. I believe that my wife senses it as I mentioned in my last posting.

Yesterday after leaving the library I went to Goodwill and purchased a pink floral maxi skirt. My desire to live full time has increased. I'm not rushing into anything but I sense that my journey is taking another twist.

~Genevieve

Wife's Poem Spot On About My Gender Transformation

A few days ago my wife read a poem to me that she wrote. It was about my transformation from my being male to now being a transgender woman. She was definitely spot on in her assessment. When I asked her more about her feelings, she said that she can't do anything about it and that's a part of who I am.

I have to reassure her that I'm still the same person, but I just have a different mindset. I explained that it's always been in me and not something that I chose. I sense that she fears losing the male part of me but actually she isn't. I answer all her questions when she asks them. I also share more of my feelings when the need to do so arises. I never ever want to to put her in a position where she has to explain about my transgender identity. I'm open with her about this.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I look forward to the day when we all can be respected for who we are.


~Genevieve

A Wonderful Time

With the wave of transgender bills being debated , our presence is being made. Some of it has been very positive with transgender candidates being elected, transgender protections being enacted, and others seeing the plight that we face. There is the negative aspect also.
A transgender woman was attacked in Maryland and another transsexual woman was murdered in Baltimore several weeks ago.

I'm so glad to be living in a time when all of this happening before my eyes. In 1971, there were hardly any services for transgender people. During the eighties, we suffered from ignorance by the greater society and by some who felt that we should 'wait our turn' (we've been involved all along).

I am happy with the progress that we are making but am reminded that there's still a long way to go.

Enjoying Warm Weather

Yesterday I was out in the city just enjoying the warm weather (finally). I am totally comfortable with my surroundings and do the things that I enjoy. While I don't call attention to myself, I do see the importance of being out in public. Someone else may need to encouraged; to know that it's alright to be and express themselves. I don't know if there was such a person out in my travels yesterday but you never know.

~Genevieve

Not Much Writing

I have been busy looking for a new place. We're suppose to sign the lease tomorrow. It didn't take long to find a place either which is a first for me. I haven't written much but I should be back at it by next week.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration. ~Ansel Adams (1902-1984)

Exploring The City

Yesterday, I was walking around the city enjoying the mild weather. I traveled up to some of the haunts that I frequented during my youth. The once baudy red light district was now upscale, modern, and just as crowded as it was when I hung out there those many years ago. As the memories flloded in me, the need to explore gender further filled my heart. I have always been open to whatever experiences come my way. Where this is leading I don't know. I have written a number of poems about my experiences. I think about gender quite a bit and some day want to speak and write about it in an intelligent and postive matter. ~Genevieve

Transgender Bills Being Argued and Debated

There has been much action in many states regarding issues concerning transgender people. Bills are being debated on in Nevada, Texas, Maine, Hawaii, Connecticut. A transgender bill in Maryland (HB 235) failed (rightly so) over concerns of no provisions for public accomodations. While I see much activity I can't help but think that now allies and those who say they support us have to put their money where their mouth is. Rep. Barney Frank gagged on it over three years by throwing transgender folks under the bus. Same thing happened in Maryland a few days. I see that some progressive transgender organizations are taking up their own banner and I'm encouraged by that. This reminds me of the dot-com craze a decade ago. Every day dozen of new companies were made public on the stock exchange. After following this awhile, I decided to wait until the dust settled. By the next year, hundreds of those companies no longer existed or were taken over by another company. I believe the dust is settling as to how serious some organizations are about transgender folks getting thier rights. Only time will tell. ~Gennee

Mid-Week Inspiration

From the equality of rights springs identity of our highest interests; you cannot subvert your neighbor's rights without striking a dangerous blow at your own. ~Carl Schurz (1829-1906)