There have been many changes within myself since I admitted that I am a crossdresser. It's been a process of me letting my passions and desires be fulfilled. For the past few years, there's been a lot of things I have kept inside of me. I wanted to let them out, but the timing wasn't right. I believe there's always a right time to do things. Crossdressing is a case in point.
I have always been a quiet person. I felt different than my two younger siblings. I was somewhat of a loner and still am in some respects. I think of myself as somewhat eccentric because I enjoy weird and unusual things. Crossdressing has challenged me personally in that it cuts across the norms of society. I enjoy the challenge because, at times, I need it.
Crossdressing has exposed me to the transgender community, which I feel a part of. I see myself as a transgender male/crossdresser and want to do what I can to help other CDs. I browse the women's sections of stores and I'm not afraid or embarrassed about it. It's fun to say that a dress or skirt would good on me. If you saw me in person, you wouldn't know I am a CD but that's the best part. I'm part of a unique and unconventional community.
Emotionally is where the changes have been the greatest. Crossdressing has helped me to look at life from many perspectives. I'm thankful that I didn't have any negative experiences in the past that would cause me to have any guilt trips. Each day is a learning process and I'm the better for it.
There's more I will share from time to time. There are people going through what I am going through, but I'm not alone.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Monday, August 29, 2005
Today, I went shopping again. Purchased some more panties and a bra. I saw a beautiful violet suit that I want to get one of these days. I also found a place to buy shoes. My wardrobe is coming along well. Shopping in the women's section is exciting and fun.
I read some articles about how the emotional part of the crossdresser undergoes a change. I certainly have experienced this in various degrees. I'm going to visit a counseler so some questions I have can be clarified for me. It's nothing that is distressful, but sharing my feelings with someone will help.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Today was a beautiful late August day. I was in the city with my wife. I was able to glance at women's attire with her. I saw some beautiful items for her. She likes skirts and tops and so do I. She doesn't know that I crossdress. I have an excuse to buy something for myself now-buy her something.
I purchased my first piece of outer clothing-a pink sleeveless pullover. I'm comfortable browsing through the women's sections of department stores after some initial trepidation. No one bothered me or gave me weird looks. I felt great after my first shopping trip and can't wait until the next one.
Tonight, I painted my toenails with pink nail polish. Another hurdle has been cleared. Shoes will be a challenge because of my wide feet (12E). There are some great looking styles too. I haven't tried any makeup yet but that's coming.
There has been subtle adjustments emotionally. We CDs cut across the grain of so-called 'normal' society. I have been able to keep a proper balance. I consider myself a transgendered man and crossdreser. I will seek some counseling to clear up some of the questions I have about my new lifestyle.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Today, I purchased my first piece of outer clothing: a pink sleeveless pullover. I found a store in my neighborhood having a sale on summer clothes. I purchased two pullovers for five dollars. I gave a coral pullover to my spouse, and kept the pink one. I tried purchasing women's articles on my lunch hour but chickened out. When I bought the blouse, I was natural and comfortable with myself. Also, purchased two pair of panties: pink floral and purple. A black skirt and slides would go great with the pullover. I feel great! I look forward to the next shopping trip.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I'm deciding on what colors to add to my wardrobe. I would love to get a violet suit or dress. I love lavender, too (especially panties). I also saw a leather skirt, which would be a great addition to my sexy side.
It was a beautiful and clear day here (rare for New York). Usually, it's rather humid this time of year. Already, the stores are having summer sales. Now's a good chance to get some bargains on some great stuff. Thrift shops are popular here, and I found two right near the job. The prices are reasonable and the clothes are good.
I wish to thank all of you who have seen my blog site. I'm open to any suggestions and tell all your friends.
Monday, August 22, 2005
|Today, I visited a thrift shop looking for clothes. I saw some cute shorts, blouses (love the pinks), and skirts. Also, saw a few night gown and dresses. I can't wait to shop this weekend and start building my wardrobe. |
I pulled more info from the internet about crossdressing and the transgender community. Though I have learned a lot, there's still much to learn. CDs and TGs as a whole face issues most people will never face.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
|Good morning, ladies! Right now, I'm wearing one of my favorite outfits:a white skirt at the knee and a black top. I have seen a number of women on the street wearing this combination and I have added it to my wardrobe. Pink, red, and canary are also beautiful summery colors that I have incorporated into the wardrobe. |
This Friday, I will be shopping for ladies clothes for the firsr time. Yesterday, I browsed around the ladies section at a thrift store and no one noticed (in my male outfit). I have purchased things for my spouse before so something like this doesn't bother me. I'm looking forward to it.
If someone does inquire of me, I'll tell them I'm buying them for Genevieve, my girlfriend.
Make up is the thing I'll need the most help with. There's so many shades and colors. I want to get the one(s) that look best on me. Shoes are the next thing, though I have a good idea how to handle this. I have a wide foot (12E), so I have found a couple of resources I can go to.
Just thinking about going femme excites me! I'll keep you posted on my shopping trip and how things went.
Friday, August 19, 2005
|I spent some time looking for clothes. I scoured the internet and did much window shopping. I looked in some women's magazines for ideas. I saw some great stuff. I looked at some wigs, too. I'm wondering if I should get one with some gray in it or just purchase a black or brown wig?|
One advantage of being a CD is that I can see life from two perspectives. Women are much more in tune with fashion than men. One lament I've always had about men's dress (business attire, in particular) is the dullness of the colors. I can't stand dull ties! Give me some bright red patterns, orange, or green; something lively, please!! Ladies have got it right!
Now being a 'woman', I see how they do things, how they think. Women don't always see things from the logical and practical sense only. I study how they walk, talk, handle themselves. When my femme side takes over, I try to emulate some of their mannerisms, and look nautral doing it.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
|I have met some beautiful ladies on the chat line. I just want want to say that I love you all! Writing is one of my passions and thus I am part of the Writers forum. Last evening, I shared how I came to be a CD.|
I don't spend every waking moment thinking about dressing femme, but when I do, I get excited!!.
I read a couple of interesting articles on the internet. the websites are listed below, if your interested.
Monday, August 15, 2005
|My foray into Williamsburg was great! I was tempted to purchase another book, but resisted it. I need another book like I need a hole in the head. It was HOT! I saw some lovely furniture for the house. I love antiques and when I get some cash, I will return to the store I saw them in.|
I surveyed the wide of array of clothing the ladies were wearing. I saw some lovely summer dresses and skirts I would pirchase for myself. The one I liked was a sleeveless, red print dress with red and pink flowers. It was pretty.
I took the day off and worked on the laptop much of the day. Still searching for good articles about crossdressers and transgendered people. There's not too many books out there but the
few I've browsed through are good.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
|Greetings! This morning I wore panties and a skirt while working on mt laptop. I felt soo exhilerated as I let my feminine side take over. I chatted with some friends on a chat line I'm a member of. I have met some wonderful ladies and made a few friends in the process.|
Saturday, August 13, 2005
|Hello, again. Very hot and muggy today. Put up my ac and it feels so much better. This morning, I put on a couple of gowns. Looking for the right style and length. Tomorrow,I'll be out in Williamsburg to check out some stores and to relax. I love the way the neighborhood has grown. I'll scout around for the latest women's fashions to see what will be my style. |
Friday, August 12, 2005
|Life is more interesting since coming out as a crossdresser. I'm planning my wardrobe now. Blue, gray, and black are my favorite colors. Wouldn't mind having a red suit. The main thing is coordinating everything.|
I have a slutty side,too. I wear just short-shorts and imagine myself a woman going topless. Another time, I will wear only a tank top. I love being barefoot.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
|Today, I wore panties underneath my jeans for the first time. It was great! Genevieve is breaking out! Decided to be bold. My transformation from Leo to Genevieve is going great! This blog will reflect that in the coming days. Genevieve is exploring, learning, gaining confidence in herself and her looks.|
I consider my self a transgendered man who is a crossdresser. It's doesn't bother to be called either. Though 'transgender' takes in a number of gender orientations, it really boils down to how you feel about yourself. Some people won't be satisfied with the decisions you make, or don't make, but just count your blessings and move on.
I feel I'm a part of the transgender community. I keep up on happenings that affect transgendered men and women. Coming out (to myself, at least), was a liberating experience. Don't know if I'll ever tell my spouse and friends because it would affect a lot of people. I'm comfortable with my situation. Each crossdresser has their own reasons for coming or not coming out, and that should be respected.
I have always like different and unusual things. I admire people who do what's not expected of them. I guess you could say I'm eccentric. I have discovered numerous other things about myself that has colored and brightened my world.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
|I was asked what triggers my crossdressing desire? With me it's walked lovely women walking in the street. It is also seeing beautiful women's clothing in store windows. I visualize myself as a full blown woman wearing a beautiful red or marigold dress. I saw these two items this morning and it gave me a thrill. |
Crossdressing has given another dimension to my life. It's interesting to think from a female perspective as well as a man's perspective. Somehow, I think it's different in some respects but different in others. It's a learning process.
Monday, August 08, 2005
|I'm trying to develop my wardrobe. Shoes will be a challenge because I have a wide foot. I visited a couple of thrift shops today. I saw some nice shorts and skirts. I'm more into dresses and suits. I like short shorts, too. Right now, I'm developing and coordinating my colors for the look and style I want. |
Sunday, August 07, 2005
I have been thinking how my life has been enhanced (not that it wasn't before) since admitting I am a cross dresser. There are times when I go to sleep at night feeling like a man (which I am). When I wake up in the morning I feel I am a woman. I believe there are more people who feel like me but won't admit to themselves, at least.
I am developing friendships with others like me and I look forward to hearing their thoughts, ideas, fears, and how it has added to their lives. Six months ago, this kind of thing was not in my mind. Now, it's a part of me.
I am amazed at how large and varied the transgender community is. Reading some exerpts and snippets of transgendered people, I have a greater understanding of their concerns, dreams, fears, and hopes. Since I came out as a transgendered man, I am part of this varied and unique group of men and women. Their concerns are my concerns.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
|I'm sitting here, thinking about what I've discovered in my life as crossdresser. One side of me is a heterosexual, married man; the other side of a me is a woman who wants to dress up and have fun and friends like me. It's a great feeling exploring my female nature. I learned so much and am learning more each day. I'm working on my wardrobe, picking what colors and styles suit me. |
Friday, August 05, 2005
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
|I was viewing a couple of interesting websites today. I marveled at how lovely the crossdressers featured looked. I hope, one day, to emulate them. The two websites are:|
www.susans.org and www.cdinyc.org.
Since coming out last week, I have gone through a wide range of emotions. I'm glad I came out, though. The feminine side of me is nothing to be ashamed of.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I went out for a walk last night after dinner. I wound up riding the bus uptown to another neighborhood. I was gazing at women's clothes again. Will have to get some more shorts before the summer is over. Can't believe it's August already.