GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Don't find fault, find a remedy.

                             ~Henry Ford

We Are Like Flowers

This past Saturday my wife and I were planting flowers in the church's garden. There were many colors; reds, yellow carnation, white and purple. When they were planted, we admired them. When they were watered, the flowers seem to come alive with vitality.

I see those of us who are gender variant and transgender as flowers. We are a part of the wonderful landscape. Many have tried to burrow us under the soil but we keep springing up. We are are as much of God's creation as anyone else. Letting our beauty shine forth adds much to life's tapestry. Let's not hide it under a bushel basket but let our lives shine from the hilltops and mountains.

Did Mom Forsee?

I trust that everyone's Mother's Day was good. It's great that all mothers are honored.

I lost my mom in 2001 but her influence upon me is still felt. We thought a lot alike, shared our sense of fashion, and could sense when something was not right. Recently, my wife revealed to me a conversation that she had with my mom. Mom shared with her that I like to wear pink. My brother and my son don't.  I didn't think much about it until I remembered that at the same time I began to struggle with my gender issues. Now I wonder if mom had an inkling of what I was to face a few years later? That I like to wear pink seemed immaterial to me until the gender angle entered in.

It's said that it's that moms know how their children are no matter how far away from home they are
I wonder if mom knew that I would become 'Gennee'?

Wife's Acceptance

Last Thursday evening my wife accepted me as a transgender person. It happened at a meeting at church. We are part of a task force that is creating and LGBTQI ministry which will kick off in June. Each person shared the their story and reasons for being there. When it was Louise's turn she shared her acceptance of me as a transgender woman. I was thrilled to say the least. It was also something that I prayed for. The following night I revealed my feminine name to her. I sensed that she was ready and my hunch proved to be correct. Louise read an article that I had written for an online magazine. She liked the article very much. Her acceptance means so much. There are some things that we are still working on but the future looks bright. My group of friends want to meet her. Louise has some trepidations right now but in time she will be ready. I'm so thankful and rejoicing.

Proceeding Ahead

Last night as lie in bed, I thought about how far my journey has taken me. I have gone much farther than I anticipated, not that I had any control over it. It dawned on me that there is still more in the way of experiences, discoveries, and changes that will be made in my life. Referring to the last comment, I see this as part my being authentic. It's stange that the world tends to shun and ignore authentic people and yet they want some one who is real. The separating point, I believe, is that if folks are willing to make changes necessary to have a meaningful life. It can relate to improved diet, lifestyle, gender identity, education, belief systems, ideologies, or a myriad of many things. Yes, it's a sacrifice and it may cost something. I see it as giving one thing up in exchange for something else. People are much more perceptive about life than they are given credit for. It can be positive or negative. Up to this point the changes made in my life has affected my spouse's percepton of me. She still loves me but is still trying to grasp my gender variance. I'm affecting three genderations; mine, my son, and my grand child. There will be more changes in store for me, some far ranging than in previous times. I have concluded to I want to be authentic. I want to make an impact in the lives of others. I desire to speak out in the face of overwhelming odds. Crazy? Maybe. I have no ther recourse. I can't turn back. I must proceed ahead.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Don't let your ideologies and beliefs stop you from doing what is right.

Book Opens Up Discussion

I am presently reading Peggy Rudd's book My Husband Wears My Clothes. My spouse is reading it also. I have also been thoughful of my spouse's feelings about my dressing. The book reminds me that others are affected by what I do. Conversely, her attitude towards crossdressing and transgender affect the both of us.

She is asking quesions again which I always welcome. I feel this time the questioning will go deeper than in previous times. She's still trying to wrap her mind around a male wearing women's clothing. What I like about Rudd's book is that it takes crossdressing from the spouse's perspective. My spous revealed to me that when she found out that I crossdress she wished tha she would wake up one day and find the whole idea of it gone.

I remind her that I'm still trying to understand what being transgender is. When I came out to her seven years ago, the main thing I was concerned with was how this would affect our family and our marriage. Thus far it has been positive. We do a lot of things together and enjoy being wih each other. One woman at our church took notice of this.  

I said earlier this year that it would be a pivotal in ou lives. I seems to be heading in that direction. I've been out in public dressed almost every day for the past few weeks. I've felt much better about doing this and even a few folks on the sreet hae taken notice. I'm very upbeat about where all this is heading.