I have read over numerous articles defining transgender. It is a very broad umbrella and transgender has a different meaning from person to person. A crossdresser may have a different take on the meaning of transgender than the transsexual. To me, too much is made of what it is to be transgender. More needs to be focused on the individual as a whole.
I may have mentioned before that coming out is an individual matter in which no one should be forced to do. I believe strongly that those who say you must come out to be a 'real' CD or transsexual does not have the person's best interests at heart. There are many hurting men and women who are still trying to sort out their feelings. They may have been hurt by others because they are different.
Transgender men and women need to be respected for their uniqueness as people. They have talents, gifts, dreams and goals like anybody else. I am secure in myself as a transgender heterosexual crossdresser. The physical, emotional and spiritual well being of each man and woman is more important than any take on what a name connotates. Whether a person does or does not come out is irrelevant.