Some of my darkest days happened in the year that I came out as transgender. I wrote short stories and poems which were dark, melancholy, and hopeless. I was falling into an abyss.
What I remember most is the utter hopelessness that I experienced. It was as if another person was trying to take over my life. I believed that I was better off being abandoned and confined to a lonely and desolate existence.
Looking back now I had to throw off the shackles of the now and embrace the unknown-whatever it was. I was like a blind person groping for something solid to grasp a hold of. When the clouds lifted I had a new life.
From time to time I have those days when I just want to be left alone. They are no where near those dark days prior to my coming out. I change my thought pattern when I feel those moods coming on. Life is wonderful and I’m enjoying it immensely.