One of the concerns I have is the many transgender people who die by thier own hand. Two weeks ago, someone I had been corresponding with for about two years was involved in a murder-suicide. M* hung herself after stabbing her pastor to death.
I had seen M* transform from life as a male to that of a transsexual woman. She seemed happy that she moved forward. M* shared with me her passion for old movies, the Beatles, floral arrangements, and the 21 books she had written. M* had a dark side as the result of people taking advantage of her, being abused, and neglect by family. She was bitter against the government and those who wronged her.
M* said some things that were hurtful but I didn't abandon her. We were at the opposite end of the spectrum about some things but we connected somehow. Sadly over the last few months, M* spiraled downward. She had nightmares and was angry. She wished for death because not being able to live the life she desired was unbearable.
One of the issues that needs to be discussed is the many suicides that happen in the T-community. I suggested that at the next TDOR the names of deceased should be read. Those who ended their lives should also be honored for their contributions. What hurts about suicide is that it leaves many unanswered questions. Also we are robbed of the talent gifts and talents that they possessed.
M* wished that she and I could have gotten together for lunch but distance prevented this. I don't know if it would have prevented what she had in mind but I certainly do not judge her. In her last post, M* wondered if she would be missed. My answer is an emphatic YES!
~Genevieve
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