It's funny how expectations are foisted upon us. There are those of our parents, teachers, church, community, friends, relatives, and other people and institutions. We have our own expectations, also. What happens if our expectations are vastly different from that of the greater society? Will there be support? Acceptance? Love? Will others understand the way we feel?
Don't get me wrong! Expectations are fine. A question I sometimes pose to a person is what do they want for themselves? Sometimes people get so busy fulfilling others expectations that they neglect their own. Today, I read a number of threads and blogs by glbt people folks who are struggling with accepting their sexuality or gender. It grieves me that they fear rejection, loss of family and livelihood, and loneliness. I wish that I could sit with and share that it's not wrong to have goals and desires different from what others say they should be.
Being a transgender woman wasn't expected of me. It was a shock to my spouse but thankfully she has accepted my transgenderism as a part of me. I implore my glbt sisters and brothers that there's nothing wrong with questioning aspects of your life that are not in tune with other people program. You have dreams and desires. Your sexuality and gender are part of those dreams. I can't live to others expectations and neither can you. I encourage you seek answers to those questions you may have. Remember, many people have been blessed because they were willing to be who they do what was not expected of them. Others have benefitted. More will be be.
1 comment:
Hi Genevieve!!!
I saw you on a Soulforce forum, and followed the link to your blog. Love it, girl, love it.
I am a college student and I have had an interesting experience with spirituality and sexuality, and I blog about it, too.
check out www.bogabard.blogspot.com
We do a lot of gender/trans awareness at my school, Dartmouth College. Queers and allies of all sorts go to trans-conferences, we had gender-outlaw Kate Bornstein come talk to us last year, and we have a few visible and vocal f-to-m transguys on campus from whom we have learned so much about ourselves. We renamed our GSA to GSX for "Gender Sexuality Xyz" to be more gender-aware and embracing of all identities. So it's something I care a lot about. I celebrate, I am so glad, that you have opened this forum and others to talk about your experience. Praises, praises.
Thanks for the spirit! I struggled with a self-chosen ex-gay story for a while, but have embraced my sexuality and genderqueerness. It allowed me to join a modern dance ensemble which I love. I also write poetry etc. Sometimes it can be hard to be fully spiritually expressed in the queer community, though. There is a lot of religi-phobia. For good reason in many cases, but it can limit your imagination not to embrace your full-spirited self. I named myself "spirit captain" of GSX. They asked me, "Do you mean team spirit or the holy spirit?" I said, "That's for you to decide."
So I just wanted to say hi, send some good energy and share my blog if you are interested. Hope all is well.
-Adam
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