Saturday, October 29, 2005

Every now and then I will ask myself why I became a crossdresser? There's nothing in my background to suggest that I would have gone this route. I had a good upbringing with few problemsand was liked by those who knew me. I am a quiet, laid back individual who tries to get along with everyone.
I have always been drawn to unusual and strange things. I consider myself somewhat eccentric because I will digress from the normal vein of thought. It was in late May or June when I began to question my maleness. Was I gay? Bisexual? Trans? A woman in a man's body? It was crazy! Here I was; a man in his fifties questioning his gender. That was a scary thought.
I got the urge to try on my wife's clothing, which I did. It was an erotic rush to wear panties. I tried on a dress, a skirt, blouse, and slip. It was a rush. Was I a crossdresser? When the urges didn't lessen, I got worried. I spoke to a couple of couselors and laid it all out to them. They explain that I was questioning my gender, and that maybe I was a crossdresser. The urges continued for a couple of more weeks. The pressure and stress were mounting until I admitted to myself that I am a crossdresser. All the stress and worries dissipated. I feel liberated, complete, and content.
I have purchased feminine clothing: panties, a dress, tops, bra, a gown, a skirt, and couple of wigs. I paint my toenails, too. I look forward to the day when I will go out totally en femme. Another goal is to march in the gay pride parade as a crossdresser.
Now to answer to the question why I crossdresser: I just enjoy wearing feminine things. My eyes have been opened to a world that is maligned by societal bigotry. I have met other crossdressers, transsexuals, intersexed, questioning and others within the umbrella of transgender.
I love the people I have met at the community center and on the internet. The support has been great. I see myself as a transgender heterosexual crossdresser. I don't feel ashamed or embarrased at all. This is just another part of me and I am content. Someday I want to come out to my spouse but I cannot at this time. Once again, I am involved with something outside the norms of society, which is fine with me. Each day is a new day in my journey and I am enjoying the ride.

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