Saturday, January 29, 2011

My Coming Out- Part 1

My Coming out Story

All my life I felt that I was different but I didn’t know why. I was never troubled continuously by this but from time to time those feelings would come up.

I grew up as a typical male active in typical male activities. I played sports, hung out with my friends, and talked about cars and girls. I was a boy scout for a few years. I had a loving family but, somehow, I felt like an outsider. I was always a quiet and shy kid who was sometimes misunderstood. I never really shared many of my true feelings.

My high school and junior college years were filled with sports, books and figuring where I fit it. I served three years in the army. I became a born-again Christian I 1972. It was one of the most important decisions of my life.

After the service I was working, active in the church, got married and raised a family. The feelings of difference didn’t trouble me all that much. There were plenty of activities that kept me occupied.

When the new century arrived, those feelings of being different intensified. In 2002, I wanted to bust out but what was I busting to? It was very frustrating that I didn’t know what was making me feel this way. I would get angry over nothing. I felt that another person was trying to come out of me.
In May, 2005 I was at home recuperating from heart surgery. I got the urge to try on my spouse’s skirt. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. The more I resisted the stronger the urge got. This went on for days. I finally gave in figuring that the urge would go away. I tried on one of my spouse’s skirts. I tried a blouse, a dress, and a bra.

I thought the urge would dissipate; instead it got stronger. That one act set the wheel in motion the events that would change my life.

To be Continued......


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