My Coming Out-Part 2

I kept saying to myself that it will all pass. Instead the urge grew stronger. Now I wondered where this was headed.During a counseling session, I laid bare my heart. I shared with the two counselors all that I was feeling. After they conversed together, they informed me that I was crossdresser. I was shocked to say the least. I never tried on feminine articles as a child nor did I ever have the desire.

For weeks i struggled with this revelation. I kept saying that this was just a phase. Deep inside I knew that it wasn't. I found a support group at he community center. I met many people in various stages of gender identity. I started this blog and began recording my feelings and thoughts. I had to because the pressure was getting to.

Several weeks later, I came to a decision to come out to myself. Almost immediately, all the tension and stress dissipated. I felt liberated and complete. I was liberated in the sense that I was no longer beholden the gender binary system that society says that we are suppose to fit in. I felt complete because the feeings of being different was not there any more. It is no longer an issue.

I did much research about crossdressing. I ran into the word 'transgender' for the first time. It connected with me. I shared with my wife after she found some of my stuff. I was nervous and scared but I told her everything. She was shocked but gradually saw that it was a part of me. I told my son about a year later. He was pretty cool with it.

I wore women's articles around the house. Usually it was skirt and camisole. The support meetings helped me understand what I was going through. There were many changes in my life.
Most of them were emotional. I went out in public and discovered that most people didn't care. I didn't feel nervous, which was somewhat surprising. I was now being the person that I truly am.

I joined to couple of groups where I met many transgender people. After a year I sensed that my experience ran much deeper than clothing and go out. I began to cogitate about where I was headed to now.

To be continued ...

~Genevieve

My Coming Out- Part 1

My Coming out Story

All my life I felt that I was different but I didn’t know why. I was never troubled continuously by this but from time to time those feelings would come up.

I grew up as a typical male active in typical male activities. I played sports, hung out with my friends, and talked about cars and girls. I was a boy scout for a few years. I had a loving family but, somehow, I felt like an outsider. I was always a quiet and shy kid who was sometimes misunderstood. I never really shared many of my true feelings.

My high school and junior college years were filled with sports, books and figuring where I fit it. I served three years in the army. I became a born-again Christian I 1972. It was one of the most important decisions of my life.

After the service I was working, active in the church, got married and raised a family. The feelings of difference didn’t trouble me all that much. There were plenty of activities that kept me occupied.

When the new century arrived, those feelings of being different intensified. In 2002, I wanted to bust out but what was I busting to? It was very frustrating that I didn’t know what was making me feel this way. I would get angry over nothing. I felt that another person was trying to come out of me.
In May, 2005 I was at home recuperating from heart surgery. I got the urge to try on my spouse’s skirt. I couldn’t believe what I was thinking. The more I resisted the stronger the urge got. This went on for days. I finally gave in figuring that the urge would go away. I tried on one of my spouse’s skirts. I tried a blouse, a dress, and a bra.

I thought the urge would dissipate; instead it got stronger. That one act set the wheel in motion the events that would change my life.

To be Continued......


~Genevieve

Snow and Global Warming

We already had nineteen inches of snow the other day-and more is on the way. This is six storms in a month and it's not over yet. Global warming? I should think so. With all the floods in Brazil and Australia, the rains in California, and the drought in Russia, I can only conclude that there is global warming. And what are our august federal agencies doing about it? Absolutely nothing. There's so much misinformation and spin that it's nauseating.


~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Whatever you do, do it with a joyful heart.



~Genevieve

Time TO Get Serious

I am grateful that there is LGBT media. However, there isn't enough news about transgender people. Seems that we are left out. There 's so much happening and yet there is scant news about transgender people. I pour through the news articles, the internet, and google. I'm tired of seeing half of the publications filled with entertainment and frivolous activities. Alternative media was gone the same way of mainstream media.

Attacks against LGBT folks has increased. Transgender people, especially women of color, are the disproportionate number of those murdered. With the changes in Washington, there is no time for frivolity because people's lives and livelihoods are at stake.


~Genevieve

Coming Out Stories

One of my favorites activities is reading posts from many folks on the forums I read. I especially enjoy the coming out stories. It's a big step step for each person who does so. It takes courage to do this.

There are times I wish that I could meet each person and congratulate them. I try to encourage them and trust that their journey will be one of excitement and fulfillment. I remember when I came out to my spouse. I was nervous; wondering how she would receive the news. She was shocked but took the news well.

Being authentic isn't easy in our conformist and conventional society. Everywhere there are those forces that try to make us go back into our closets. I admire those folks who have decided to be who they are. Once I made this declaration there was no turning back. There have been some bumps along the way but I'm going on.

I've never been happier in my life. I encourage each one of you to be who you are. You have every right to be the person that you are. You have enriched my life and I pray I've done likewise.

Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Follow your dreams, believe in yourself and don't give up.

~Rachel Corrie

More Snow

We got around nine inches of snow here. Not as much as last time but at least the streets were plowed. People are still on the mayor's tail about the the last storm.


~Genevieve

More of the White Stuff Coming

We're expecting more snow here tomorrow or tomorrow evening. Six to twelve inches are predicted. I hope the mayor has the snow plows and salters ready and out there working should it strike. He took a major it from every where here in New York City about the last storm two weeks ago.

~Genevieve

Genevieve's Gems

Let no define who you are.
Be who you are.
Be happy with who you are.


~Genevieve

Kind Words

I was at the community center on Sunday. I was sitting on a bench reading. A young lesbian and I exchanged happy new year wishes. An older lesbian woman was present. The young shared the positive changes in her life. She felt at peace with herself.

I shared my life as a transgender woman. I was very open to sharing. She commented that I look so happy and that I looked good. She encouraged me to be what I am. Her kind words made my day. This is what I had in mind when I began this journey. Having a positive affect on others and present myself in a postive and affirming. I'm so thankful for that day.

~Genevieve

2011

Happy New year to one and all. I trust that 2010 was a good one for you. I did have my struggles but I'm happy to be alive.

As I look at 2011 I see a more active life. I have been reading much on some issues of interest to me. I will be out protesting a lot this year, not only about trans issues. There is so much that is affecting the lives of people across the country; foreclosures, unemployment, politicians selling out to corporations, outsourcing of jobs, genetically engineered food (very bad for people), and a mainstream media that does not reperesent our interests. Many cities are bankrupt and more will be so this year. I probably will be protesting more in 2011 than I have in my entire life.

Our brethren in Europe Asia, Africa, South America, and the Caribbean are out in the streets when something threatens their lives and well being. In America, there is much apathy and acceptance of much of this criminal strangulation of of the people. I believe that in 2011, people will take to the streets to register their dissent. There's needs to be more progressive and alternative ways to healing the environment, ending the wars (the Vietnam War ended because people saw what was really happening on the tv), hunger, de-ghettoizing neighborhoods, and organic farming.

Right now, I'm in the midst of planning some events and goals for the year. I cannot sit idly by while corporations such the life out of the American people. I will also focus on some trans issues because transgender people are affected by all the bigotry and invasion of privacy in our lives. The way I see it, 2011 will be an active and exciting year.

~Genevieve