Genevieve's Gems

It seems the older I get the more I want to experience in life.


~Genevieve

Those Feelings Again

A few weeks ago I posted a blog titled 'Transsexual Feelings'. I mentioned that I was moving away from the perch of a transgenderist and toward that of a transsexual. The past few days, the feelings are much stronger. I want to live as a woman full time because I see myself as a woman.

I noticed that I think much about this but I'm not rushing into anything. I let all the emotions pass until there is something concrete that I can grab a hold of. I still have a ways to go because there is so much to experience and learn. If this starts to cause me any distress then I will see a therapist about it.

~Genevieve

This past Tuesday I was at the community center browsing the racks of materials. As I started to descend the stairs, a man started to hit on me. He commented how nice my hair looked and that I had nice hands. I thanked him for the complements.

I spent the following day in the library where I was working on my final paper in my master's class. A few weeks I noted how relaxed I am. I caught myself walking haltingly on the street sometimes. Now I walk with a purpose. It has improved my confidence. I've also lost 14 pounds due to eating less and an enzyme enhancer in my diet. I noticed how loose my clothing are on me. A couple of articles I thought I had to be loosened don't need it now.

I talked with my spouse the other night about what transgender face and that we are what we are. I really believe she has a better understanding of what I feel and struggle with. I do cherish these times that we discuss thes things.

~Genevieve

Tarry On

This has been the hottest summer New York has had in a number of years. There's the change that this could be the hottest July ever.

There are a number of hot issues affecting LGBT people also. ENDA, DADT, marriage equality, to name a few. Yes, the climate is getting hot but tarry on we must. I have been raising some question about a number of mainstream LGBT organizations as to their committment to the causes of transgender people in particular. At present I'm putting together some materials to highlight our progress and concerns.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Let us keep seeking, searching, inquiring, and knocking.

~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Transition may not always evident to our eyes or to others but we are transitioning in more ways than just the physical.


~Genevieve

Transsexual Feelings

At approxiamtely this time last year, I migrated from a cross dresser to transgenderist. I was equally comfortable as masculine and feminine. I sensed that my journey was much deeper than clothing and dressing up. A year earlier I read about and studied what being a transgenderist is about. I felt that was the direction I was headed in which proved to be accurate.

Now after being comfortable, I feel that the moorings are being loosened. This is not out of danger or fear but the journey will put up again. I remember last year that I had what I would call 'transsexual feelings'. This was shortly after declaring myself a transgenderist. After awhile those feelings went away. Please forgive me if this is an inaccurate way of explaining it. I have read about and corresponded with a number of transsexuals who shared their experiences with me which has helped me to understand what each has experienced. There's so much to consider and take into account.

Lately, those feelings resurfaced stronger. I have no desire to have the surgery or take more hormones personally. I felt a kinship with transsexuals when I started to dress. I didn't know why plus I personally didn't know any transsexuals. Those thoughts have come to this part of my continuing journey. I feel more identified with the feminine and I desire to live it much more so. I haven't shared this with my spouse yet and at some time I will need to.

I haven't moved from my perch yet but I sense it coming. I remember a transsexual sister saying to that you never know where this journey will take you. How prophetic she was. I don't feel any trepidation about this part of the journey. I really look forward to it.

~Genevieve

Genevieve's Gems

Each person's journey is unique.


~Genevieve

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

Real independence is when no one has to be denied anything because of
who they are.

~Genevieve

Using The Time Wisely

One of the benefits of pride month is that it allows me to focus on what needs to be done in the work for equality. Generally, the second half of the year I analyze what can I do to help LGBT people move forward. There are many directions I can go, but I want to be where the most good can be done.

I write for an online magazine, encouraging transgender as they are. As the time moves forward I want to affect as many lives as I can. This is what pride month means to me.

~Genevieve