All my life I felt that I was different. I never knew why I felt that way but I did. I was brought in a secure loving home so I always felt accepted and loved.
Growing up I did typical male things. I played sports, hang out with my buddies, and talked about girls. Though I did have a few close friends, there was always that feeling of disconnect. I didn't feel that I belong. As my life moved forward the feelings of difference never troubled me that much because there was plenty of things that kept me busy. I graduated from junior college and served in the army. I became a Christian while in the service. It was the best decision I ever made.I married in 1980, became involved with church activities, and lived life as your typical married man.
When the 21st century came, my gender issues became more intense and confusing. I wouId get angry but didn't know why I did. I still didn't tie my dissatisfaction with my gender. I always envisioned myself as performing some great achievement.
In 2005, I began to crossdress. When I admitted that I was a crossdresser, I discovered that I was also transgender. I chose to embrace who I was now was. All the inner turmoil dissipated. I felt completed and liberated.Two important things happened to me. The first is God confirmed to me that he loved and accepted me as a transgender person. The second was that my family accepted that I was transgender.
While I enjoyed my new identity, I felt that being transgender ran much deeper than clothing. I met other transgender people I read and studied about transgender issues. I began to see the spiritual needs of the transgender community. I know of three lesbians who were dismissed by their church because of their sexual orientation. Many believe that God hates him. This disturbs me greatly because church is the one place that a world weary soul should be able to find rest.
I see myself as a transgender woman. God loves me as He always has. What He has done is introduced me to a family I never knew I had. Praise Him.
Genevieve
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing this and for being an encourgement!
Your welcome, Paula.
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