I tried on the high heels that I purchased. I really have to get used to wearing them. Only wore them for about five minutes and I feel it in my legs. I'm going to look for another wig tomorrow for Wednesday night when I go out.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS



THE GURL WITHIN IS READY TO BLOOM!

I purchased my first pair of high heels today. I will have to get used to wearing them. This will be interesting. I may have a chance to look for some blouses tomorrow. My SO has some blouses that she hardly wears. Maybe she'll give them to me (I hope, I hope).

I am getting to the point where I would rather dress en femme. I feel so much more feminine and I want to express it more often. There so much I want to share and express to others.

Next Wednesday will be my big day. I will be going out dressed in public for the very first time. I don't know what to think except that I am looking forward to it.

I am looking for a trans conference to attend. SOUTHERN COMFORT in Atlanta is a good one, I hear. More and more transgenders are making their mark in the arts and in political circles. It's nice to see that we are slowly being recognized for our talents and gifts. Gender has nothing to do with what we have to offer society.

Leslie Feinberg, a transgender activist, spoke at Barnes and Noble here in the city. I wanted to attend but was unable to.

I hope to go out publicly for the the first time either this week or next week. I have my outfit in my mind that I want to wear. Either a denim skirt and top or a dress.

I am at the community center almost daily. Last Thursday or Friday I noticed a man standing across the street. He looked like we wanted to go in. I was hoping that he would take that step, but he continue onto his destination. I wonder how many men and women pass by the center and are dying to enter through those doors. For some reason, either out of fearof being found out, shame, or guilt they let another opportunity pass by. I wish that I could take them by the hand and lead them in. They don't have to feel isolated and alone.

Now that my support group is on hiatus, I have the opprtunity to explore some of the other trans events at the center. Some day I am going to go in as Gennee. That will be a highlight for me in that I am willing to put myself out there.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

In the process of projecting outer beauty, let us work cultivate the inner beauty within.

I traveled to New Jersey yesterday to take care of some business. I observed all the women coming and going through the train station. I noticed what they were wearing, how they walked, how they gestured. Sandals and open toe shoes were the order of the day since it was over 80 degrees. I could have stayed there all day. I probably would have walked and acted like a woman when I got done. Clothing was bright and interesting. I loved the white skirts and colorful tops I saw.

It was a busy day at work. I went outside to take care of some vending machines. I wore pink panties and bra under my work clothes. I had a chance to browse around in the mall afterwards. I saw so many beautiful ladies tops and pants. I felt so feminine, as if I was actually purchasing all the articles I saw. Ladies, you don't know how good you have it.
I looked for some shoes but couldn't find anything I liked. I'll try again tomorrow.

I awakened this morning feeling more feminine than I since my early days of gender questioning. Genevieve was in bloom. I felt as if I should be this dynamic person going through life with joy and purpose. A helping hand to someone in distress; a listening ear to a troubled soul. I see this beautiful woman making a difference with people around her.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

The security of the present must be forsaken to venture into the future.

This coming Wednesday will be the last group support meeting for this session. It has been better than the first session that I attended. A few people bared their souls. The last couple of meetings have been testy but timely. I have gotten to know a few of my tran-sisters better. Can't wait until the session starts in June.D
If you want to go somewhere to let loose, I suggest 'Lips' (www.lipsnyc.com). Dinner is served by crossdressing waitresses who will entertain you. There are also shows and performances.

I have been checking out the fashions for this season. White pants and peasants skirts are in. I prefer a white skirt with a pastel top. White and black are really a great combo. I have seen some crossdressers dress better than a lot of women.
I will be posting some places where crossdressers, transsexuals, transgenderists, and transvestites can go in a few days. There's more out there than you think. I just have to get my list in order.

I worked some more on my play. Still haven't thought of a title for it. One will possibly come to mind when I complete writing it. There's precious little art and movies which portray transgenders in a positive light. I think the movie 'Transameica' was a decent start but more is needed. I have principally crossdressers and transvestites in mind.
I have been reading much about the progress the transgender community is making in regards to civil rights. It's been painfully slow but activists are scoring a few victories.
The senseless deaths of so many transgenders is a topic that really grabs me. When I read about the viciousness of these crimes it makes me want to weep. I'm not sure in what capacity that I will be involved with this but I believe that I will be a part of it. People need to be educated about transgender issues and especially the wide range of gender expression.

I purchased a whie on Friday as I continue to build my wardrobe. The weather was great, too. I dined at a sidewalk cafe on Second Avenue. I have always loed side walk resaurants. There's something romantic about them.
Saturday was rainy and cold so I stayed and worked on the internet. Chatted with my friends on the chat line. I read some and wrote some. I have come up with a few ideas for the play that I am writing.
Though I get no support from SO, I'm still positive and hope one day she will understand. She dooesn't prevent me from dressing. I will have to show her wha crossdressing is all about.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never.

I envision the day when I will go out dressed in public without a care in the world. There are so many pretty clothes out there. Wish I had a million dollars so I can purchase the things that I want.

Currently, I am reading Ayn Rand's book "Atlas Shrugged". I am an avid reader as I try to read at least one book per month. It's a habit I have had since grade school.

I will be posting in the coming days places where TG/TS/TV/CD events are happening.

It was a warm, pleasant weekend. Rather nice for the Northeast this time of year. Hung out in New York City on Saturday window shopping. I walked a lot and the exercise was good.

I found transgender music at the Virgin Superstore. The group is 'Antony and the Johnsons'. I'm picking up a cd on Friday. I'm surfing the internet for more transgendered musicians. I would like to find some jazz musicians.

I'm looking for a black skirt and black shoes. I need flats and heels (about 3 inches maximum). I have to get used to wearing them. I will look at the Kmart on Friday for the skirts. My spouse and I window shopped at Lane Bryant's yesterday. She saw a couple of outfits that she liked.
They would look good on me, too.

My wife shook her head when after I painted my toenails. We have a ways to go before she accepts my dressing.

GENEVIEVE'S GEMS

OPEN DIALOGUE IS BETTER THAN SILENT SUFFERING