Friday, April 27, 2012


Don't let your ideologies and beliefs stop you from doing what is right.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Book Opens Up Discussion

I am presently reading Peggy Rudd's book My Husband Wears My Clothes. My spouse is reading it also. I have also been thoughful of my spouse's feelings about my dressing. The book reminds me that others are affected by what I do. Conversely, her attitude towards crossdressing and transgender affect the both of us.

She is asking quesions again which I always welcome. I feel this time the questioning will go deeper than in previous times. She's still trying to wrap her mind around a male wearing women's clothing. What I like about Rudd's book is that it takes crossdressing from the spouse's perspective. My spous revealed to me that when she found out that I crossdress she wished tha she would wake up one day and find the whole idea of it gone.

I remind her that I'm still trying to understand what being transgender is. When I came out to her seven years ago, the main thing I was concerned with was how this would affect our family and our marriage. Thus far it has been positive. We do a lot of things together and enjoy being wih each other. One woman at our church took notice of this.  

I said earlier this year that it would be a pivotal in ou lives. I seems to be heading in that direction. I've been out in public dressed almost every day for the past few weeks. I've felt much better about doing this and even a few folks on the sreet hae taken notice. I'm very upbeat about where all this is heading. 

Friday, April 20, 2012


Change is such hard work.

Billy Crystal

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Seven Years

I have been out for nearly seven years now. There have been many improvements and changes. Protections for GLBT persons are law in many counties, towns, states, and countries. There is also more backlashes because we dare to make our voices heard. Transgender Day of Remembrance reminds me that we’re still in a fight.

What is encouraging is that more people are seeing through the labyrinth of lies thrown up by our enemies. I am seeing cracks in the armor of seemingly impenetrable social institutions because people are being educated about gender and sexuality. The church is one such institution. I am part of a task force that forming a ministry for LGBTQI persons. I’m very happy about this because I’m involved with the church. No longer can churches ignore part of their congregations because we are everywhere. One of my desires is share my story and educate the church about what it is to be transgender.

On a personal level, I’m very comfortable with where I am at the present time. The gender has been fluid the past several days. I have been interacting with the public quite a bit. I enjoy speaking with others. Others hve taking notice because I’ve been sent emails and notes. I even have an admirer at the community center.

My spouse is still trying to understand my being transgender but she has made progress. I’m making new discoveries as I continue on this journey. I’m really happy about life.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Gender Is Fluid

My gender has been fluid the past few days. The weather has been warm so I'm out and about the city quite a bit. This past Saturday I wore a dress for the second time. I kept getting looks from folks everywhere. There were two men who took notice and remarked to each other. I was recently called ma'am by someone in my building.  

I spent time at the library, the community center, two bookstores, a park hung out in during the 60s and 70s, and a book fair. It has been much for me interacting with the public.This is a victory for me because at one time I was reticent about speaking. 

Last night, I discovered that I have an admirer. I was waiting for a friend at the community when this man came over and spoke with me I had seen and exchanged hellos with him in the past. He was fascinated with my hands. I have long sleek fingers. He complimented me on my attire. We spoke f or about ten minutes before he had to leave. Earlier in the day I received fou emails from gentlemen desiring a relationship. Basically all I did was change my avatar. I guess that got the ball rolling. 

I've had som moments of total contentment. Once again, I flirted with idea of transitioning.  my spouse has noticed more changes in me, most noticably about clothing. I talk quite a bit about all the pretty dresses and skirts in the stores. I'm still rather fluid so I expect more things to happen today.      

Friday, April 13, 2012


Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children.

~Sitting Bull, Lakotan Statesman

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Looking at life from the feminine perspecive has opened up my view of life in general. I've always been open to new experiences and ideas because of my natural curiosity. I'm not sure if gender fluidity contributes to this perception but the more I live as awoman the moreI believe that perception.

My wife has noticed this and she points it out. Looking ahead, I see that there will be more changes in my life. Some of them will not be easy but I'm willing to make the necessary changes to improve the lives of transgender people. I hae changed my views about many of our institutions and some of the things we've been taught. I see that there are beter ways of improving the lives of other as well as ourselves. To this end I will continue to work.

Saturday, April 07, 2012


Spring is awakening from a dark and cold winter.

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

One of the beautiful aspects of spring is the flowers that bloom. Where I live tulips have been blossoming early because of the unusually warm weather for this time of year. I love the color they give to the dull landscape of a dry winter. 

In the same analogy, we trans people give the world beauty and color. We may see life from a different perspective (speaking for myself). I see myself as a flower that adds beauty to the landscape of the world. I may not be recognized or held in high esteem but I am a part of a diverse tapestry.