Friday, September 30, 2011


Belief in oneself is one of the most important bricks in building any successful venture.

~Lydia M. Child, Activist (1802-1880)

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Autumn is my favorite season. The weather is getting cooler. The leaves are changing colors from lush green to red, yellow, and orange. It's like an artist who is painting a beautiful scene with the stroke of a brush.

I see my gender transition as the autumn in my life. There were inner struggles. There was a casting aside of previous thought patterns and beliefs. Like autumn, my life was going through a metamorphosis. Some think that because the leaves are changing colors, that the trees are dying. What they actually are doing is resting from the labors of the summer. Whatever I see the fruits and vegetables produced, it's reminds me of the bountiful harvest bestowed upon us.

I'm appreciative of the changes that have happened in my life and the lives of others. Changes are still happening. I have seen many autumns come and go. I'm still amazed at the beauty and creativity in nature. It's the same way regarding gender.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

~Irving Kristol

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Gender Struggles

I was reading some old stories I wrote a decade or so ago. Meditating on them, I see that my gender issues were manifest at least ten years and maybe more. I never ever tied it to gender. It never really troubled me that much at the time but a few years later it did.

I sympathize with many who struggle with gender issues much longer tha I did. My houghs and feelings ran the gamut of sexual liberation on one side and debauchery on the other. It was really crazy because I never had thoughts like this before. It seems that another person was living inside of me.

Seeing my life now, I love who I have become. Encouraging others that they are alright is something that I take delight in. I sympathize with those who are hurting, being abused physically and emotionally, and excluded from society in general.

Perhaps I was spared much hurt because I was in my fifties when my struggles began. I'm happy that people are coming out earlier. Though society has become more accepting, it still can be difficult at times to live as we are. I am happy as I am and will continue to help those who need encouragement. Equality is something I will work for.

Monday, September 19, 2011


It can't be!
No, not me!
You scream 'I'm not one of them!'
But doubts tug at your hem

You never had a clue
But deep inside you knew
You did everything to prove them wrong
But you knew all along
that you were different
It's your life testament.

Saturday, September 17, 2011


I read posts of many GLBT people and enjoy doing so. I derive much joy from those who discover who they are. Encouraging those who are struggling with gender identity and sexuality is somethng that I do. It's very important because nobody needs to feel ashamed of who they are.

Much of the angst against LGBT people comes from those forces which are closed-minded,uninformed, or ignorant. I see the motivation of those forces and it's sickenng to see it. I also see that we are gifted. We expose the world to a different side of gender and sexuality. I always say just because something or someone is different doesn't mean that they are not worthy or valued. Quite the contrary.

Through all the hate and bigotry I see people who are deciding to be authentic. This is something that is greatly needed.

Friday, September 16, 2011


Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.

~D. Elton Trueblood

Monday, September 12, 2011

9/11-The Day After

I was going to go to the ceremonies of 9/11 at the site but decided not to. I could handle the emotions but perhaps some other folks needed to be there.

I went out on Saturday night to a friend's apartment. We talked about 9/11 some. What I gathered was where we were when it happened and how it affects us even now. There was a wide range of feelings and thoughts. I think in the end we don't take anything for granted.

I read in the gay newspaper here the story of Mychal Judge, the Franciscan priest who was the chaplain for the fire department. It was known that he was gay but he was loved and respected by many people in and outside the department. Mark Bingham, the hero of Flight 93 in Pennsylvania, was also written about. There were many LGBT people who were heroes that day though you never ever here about them.

There are times when because of 9/11 it hastened my discovery of being transgender. I don't know if it did but I beleive the time that I did come out was right. It's strange how catastrophic events puts many aspects of our lives in perspective.

Friday, September 09, 2011


Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.

~Dean Acheson, American statesman (1893-1971)

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Reflections on 9/11

As the country celebrates the 10th anniversary of 9/11, many thoughts about that day flow through my mind. I'm mulling attending the ceremony at the site this Sunday. I usually reflect on the day in private but I decided to share some of my thoughts here.

I was supposed to be in the tower the first plane crashed into at precisely the same time but was delayed. I remember the hordes of people scurrying to get home. Calling home was next near to impossible because all the phone lines were jammed. When the second plane hit the other tower, it really got crazy. I didn't know what was happening. I was able to get home in mid afternoon. There was an area that I could see the twin towers in clear view. Going to that same spot, all I saw was thick black and gray smoke where the towers once stood.

Now here it is ten years later, and I question if anything was gained. There's nothing to show for the so-called 'war on terror' because it was done under false pretenses. I can still feel the loss of all those people who did not escape the falling debris. Four members from my church died in the attacks. Many questions remained unanswered and people are questioning the official report about what happened. I could go into a long litany of my own findings and observatios but that's for another day.

9/11 is still a sore part in many people's lives. Though I suffered no loss personally, I still feel a sense of loss. The loss of innocence; loss of faith in our institutions and leaders (which was tenuous already), and the conclusion that America is a fascist state with the corporations running things and the politicians following like lap dogs.

This Sunday I choose to remember the many heroes and sheroes who brought comfort to those who were hurting. I choose to remember the many people lost and the loved ones they left behind. I have seen the changes in my own life and how now those changes affect me. In the end, I have no bitterness towards anyone because it would only destroy me. I choose to make a difference in other peoples' lives


Friday, September 02, 2011


Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.

~Democritus (460BC-370Bc)

Thursday, September 01, 2011

More Websites

I am adding some additional websites that I believe will benefit others. Check the sites for those additions.