Friday, July 31, 2009


There is no road that doesn't lead to somewhere. However, we may discover something we have never seen before.


Thursday, July 30, 2009


In baseball, it is known that if you can't hit the curve ball, you may have some difficulty hitting for a high average. When I made an aborted tryout in pro baseball, it was a curve ball from the pitcher that convinced me that my dream was over.

Another curve was throw my way when I discovered that I was a transgender person. I was confused, shocked, and afraid. I didn't know where this revelation would lead. Jesus' ministry threw curves at a rigid and staid religious hierarchy. He demonstrated another way where all people were accepted.

If would be easier if life moved in a linear pattern. Then the question comes up as to what do we do when our lives go off track? Does it mean we are going in the wrong direction? could it mean the loss of possessions? Could it be a change in our philosophy about life? Change is going to happen. It's how we handle those changes that come.

Never in my life did I imagine that being transgender would be part of the plan for my life. Curves can be a blessing if we can see the bigger picture. Perhaps there is something we need to experience and learn before we continue on our journey. Perhaps there is someone who needs to see that we are willing to embrace the changes that come and profit from it. I'm positive that many struggling folks have been blessed by others who are willing to live their lives openly.

In baseball, the batter needs patience and discipline in order to hit a curve ball. Overanxiousness will cause him to swing at a bad pitch. Changes need not cause anxiety but an opportunity to see what good thing may be in store for us.


Sunday, July 26, 2009


Four years ago on this date I came out as transgender and a crossdresser. It was a liberating moment which ended the many years of inner turmoil I had about my worth. The last four years have seen much growth and change in me especially on the emotional side.

Each year has been different. The first year was invested in getting comfortable in my new identity. The second year saw me throw off the baggage society puts on transgender people's shoulders. The Third year was one getting to know other people in the TGLB communit and understanding the issues that are important to us.

This past year saw a major change in my life. I previously identified as a CD/TG. In June, I realized that I was more identified as TG/TS (somewhere between a crossdresser and transsexual). I feel very comfortable where I am now. Where will this journey lead next I don't know. However, as I did coming out I will embrace whatever life has in store for me.

I have never been happier in my life. Above all, I have met so many great people on this journey. I found a family I never knew I had and I'm so thankful.


Friday, July 24, 2009


This happiness consisted of nothing else but the harmony of the few things around me with my own existence, a feeling of contentment and well-being that needed no changes and no intensification.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I'm still on down time and assessing where things are. Though the pink fog isn't as thick as usual, it has been a good time to relax. I am a quiet and intense person who needs to step back a while.

I'm reading a couple of books now. One is a book of selected poems by Paul Laurence Dunbar. I'm doing a research project about his life and work. I read some of his poems a year or two ago. The second book is by John G. Stackhouse titled Finally Feminist. I'm taking some notes because this book is very involved.


Sunday, July 19, 2009


I have traveled along many roads.
Some were smooth and straight;
Others were crooked.
Some roads were winding and wooded;
Others were barren and empty.
Each road brought me somewhere


Friday, July 17, 2009


At every stage of our lives, God can use our talents to seve others.

~Raymond Bottom

This thought has blessed me throughout my life and continues to do so.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Your Life Counts

Yesterday, I read these words from a devotional : At every stage of our lives, God can use our talents to serve others (Raymond Bottom). I have long held the belief that each stage of our lives are to be cherished, developed and used to help others.

I have enjoyed every stage of my life. I enjoyed my childhood. I relished the teen years. I matured as a young adult. I enjoyed life as a single person. I love being married and a father. I came out as a transgender person in my fifties. It was only a few weeks ago that, at age sixty, I declared myself a transgenderist. Yes, each stage had its ups and downs but I wouldn't be the person that I am if I hadn't gone through them.

There may be someone reading this post who feels that their lives don't matter. The may feel that their contributions mean little. YES IT DOES! Ten years ago I stated in a tutorial education course that the best years of my life are ahead of me. I was fifty years old at the time. I still believe it now.

Maybe physical impairments due to aging don't allow you to do some things, but there are things you can do in spite of those impairments. I encourage you to keep seeking, keep dreaming, and never believe that you aren't important because you are.


Friday, July 10, 2009

Time OF Reflection

I have been in a reflective mood the past few weeks. Moving away from all the action, a place of rest has been prepared for me. I have been reading much about transgender happenings an achievements and struggles. Now I'm trying to see where I fit at this point in my life.

It seems that many great men and women are people of reflection. They assess, reassess, discuss, make changes, and carry on. They aren't married to one particular way of achieving their goals. I beleive folks who reflect are better able to see the whole picture.

When I started on my journey as a crossdresser and transgender person, I've always felt a special kinship with transsexuals. Now that I've moved much closer to this identity I better understand some of the events that happen in their lives. I remember when I attended a support group meeting a few years ago. I came out as a crossdresser to the group. After the meeting a transsexual woman asked me if I was going to transition. I told her no. Then she said 'you never know'. Reflecting on those words she was right. I have transitioned!



Reflection is a time to see how much we're blessed and far we have traveled on our journey.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

July My Month of Independence

America finished with the 4th of July festivities a few days ago. Four years I celebrated my independence by caming out as transgender and a crossdresser. I am a transgenderist today (TG/TS). It was one of the most liberating events of my life. I will share my testimony of my coming on the 26th.

TGLB folks are working to secure their independence from oppression, discrimination, and fear. Much has been accomplished, much more needs to be done. I have wondered why I came when I did (in my mid fifties)? I never had associated with the community up until I came out. In just the short time I have been out I have read, heard and seen how people's lives have been affected by destructive paradigms and laws. This has to change.

I am out in public constantly because I hope to educate the public that we exist. I refuse to be a victim because I have the same right to be myself as anybody else. It's amazing what happens when you decide to take a stand. Every crossroad I walked on has taken me to new horizons. This journey has revealed strengths inside of me I never knew were in me.

As I continue the trek, I will encounter new experiences. I welcome any thing that comes my way. If it will help someone else in their journey, then it's worth it.


Saturday, July 04, 2009

The Jordan Crossing

Like the person in the photo, I am wondering what new lands will beckons. This isn't about new continents or oceans but another place in my journey. Just like the early explorers, I don't know what I will discover. There's excitement, expectation, and anticipation.

What I find is the absense of fear. This journey was laid out for me long before I was born. Friends and family can support you but there come a time when you have to go by yourself.


Friday, July 03, 2009


I don't need to go around defending who I am. God made no mistake creating me the way I am.