Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I have been reading and writing a lot. I am presently reading an excellent book 'Thomas Merton: My Brother'. I have fallen in love with this man's work. His books have expanded my horizons because I'm a seeker. Merton (1915-1968) was a seeker. He was a man who was in tune with the issues of his day. Some may dismiss Thomas Merton because of his religious zeal. His was a quest for God and a deep concern for his fellow man.

I am seeking to integrate what I am learning with the transgender issues that concern me. Merton 's thoughts and ideas are relative today. In my opinion, Thomas Merton would be grieved by the bigotry and prejudice by society against transgender and gender variant people.I go through those periods where I come upon another road and decide whether or not to cross it. It seems that I'm gently nudged in this direction. There's no fear or trepidation because I have an inner peace about where things are headed. At this point I'm wondering if the future involves working with transgender people wihich I would certainly love to do.

I have been out more as a transgender woman. It has nothing to do with telling everyone I'm trans but my being out in public expressing who I am. Action does speak louder and this is something that I believe I need to do. I crossed a huge threshhold two weeks ago walking through my neighborhood wearing women's clothing. Two years ago I was apprehensive. Now it's no sweat. I have shared some of what is happening in my life. There's so much going on inside that it would take many blogs to comment. The journey will continue.


Sunday, July 27, 2008


Yesterday was the third anniversary of coming out to myself as a crossdresser and transgender. The past year has been wonderful. I marched in the gay pride parade. I declared myself a transgender woman publicly. I have never been happier.

The most important aspect of life is being comfortable in my own skin. Without that, nothing will seem to be right. Life would be misery. My wife and son support me and that is a blessing. I am involved with trans issues and have been more vocal about some comments others make against us. I cannot stand idly by while some transphobe heaps trash on us about how bad we are.

If anyone is celebrating an anniversary, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!


Friday, July 25, 2008


In moving forward we sometimes discover those little nooks we may have passed over.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


It has been three years that I have been a crossdresser and transgender woman. The experience has been wonderful. Having come out in my fifties I'm still discovering much about what it is to be a transgender woman. I am also gaining the understanding that there are many issues that will affect all my transgender brothers and sisters. It is why I am seeking to become more involved with transgender issues.

Over the past few weeks I have been comtemplative as to where all this will lead. I am convinced that much of things done against transgender people are wrong. It doesn't matter if it's a company, church or landlord. I have been following events all over the country as much as possible and there's certainly much that needs to be done. I already belong to two groups and am looking to be even more involved.

I love dressing and I love where I am personally so far. Deep inside I knew that there would come the day that I would begin to see that this journey is much more than pleasure and social events. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy them and hope to be out more. I also see that lives are at stake because the battle will not be easy. Ther's been too many lives lost to suicide and violence. There's too many of us who suffer discrimination and bigotry. Society will try to make us feel ashamed or guilty about who we are. I refuse to be ashamed of my transgender status.

I have been reading a book by Thomas Merton, a monk who finally saw the way God saw him-as His child. He was a seeker and so am I. Sometimes one has to go through things in order to be a vessel for God. I am willing to do this for transgender people. I'm seeking what the next move will be. One thing is certain- I can't go back.

Friday, July 18, 2008


A community is like a ship-everyone ought to be prepared
to take the helm.

-Henrik Ibsen

Friday, July 11, 2008


I feel as if I'm back in my twenties, when nature and life
filled me with awe and wonder.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

marched in pride parade

This past Sunday, I marched in my first New York City pride parade. It was a warm day to start. I wore a black skirt, pink pullover and sneakers. The contingent I marched with was the American Veterans for Equal Rights.

It was about a three mile march down 5th Avenue. Thousand of people lined the barricades cheering each contingent that passed by. I was very proud of being out and participating. Someone I know recognized me and told me so in an email I received from him. I knew that there were many LGBT people in New York but not this many. I was reaaly with family! I was also happy to see many transgender people out because we need to be more visible.

With less than a mile left the rains came. It seemed to pick people's spirits up. I could feel the electricity in the rain soaked air. I truly enjoyed the experience.